A Cheater's Heart

misdeads in thought and thoughtlessness.

Words you would have said
Blew through the windows
In your soul
As sure as if you had
Uttered them aloud,
Across the storm tossed bedroom
Of our broken home.

Never will I forget
The look of hate and contempt
That was your painful,
Silent answer to my hurtful
And careless omission
Of your value,
Feelings, emotion, and compassion.

A cheater, if not in deed
Then at least in thought
I had become.
Much too close to the periphery
Between good and evil
I slowly teetered,
Carrying your emotions on my shoulders.

"Do you still need me,
Or are you too obsessed with lust
To see me as a person
And not an object?"
The scarlet letter of your unvoiced accusation
Branded my troubled soul
As sure as the fires of hell.

Alone in a litter
Of empty coat hangers
And half destroyed memories
I gave voice to anguish
You kept locked behind your eyes.
"Dear God are you there?
Please answer my cries!"