The Break Up

How can you write about something you never have been in?
How will you know how to express what you have yet to feel?
How will you know if it's right, what gives you the authority to write?

Well, haven't been there this is true. But, I know the will of God and He will come through.

Years ago I had a man, we will protect his identity and call him, 'Husband'.

"Husband, you say! You've been in love anyway."

No, really I haven't. I just went with the flow, girl gets pregnant the rest you know.

But one day the Lord spoke to my heart and from that day on I had a new start.
The first thing I told the Lord was that I wanted my marriage to work.

He said, "Ok, but you both have to want it, you both have to work. I must be in center of your home and whatever you plan. Go find a preacher and remarry this same man."

So off we go to renew our vows, things appeared to be working there for a while.

As I studied and prayed I began to grow while he remained the same. It takes two praying individuals to make a good marriage indivisible.

After a marriage retreat he begin to stray, further from God further from home. A few weeks later he would leave me alone .

As we hugged and looked into each others eyes, the Holy Spirit spoke something Husband would deny. "He's being unfaithful and his love is not for you." 

I never thought he would go for another, but it was true. The Holy Spirit of course was right. It would all come out on that next night.

The enemy of my soul used his friend to call and say, "He's not at work today, he's somewhere at play." My mind begin to race, 'who, what, when and why?' The enemy thought he had me and I would just go and die.

I called my sister to borrow her car. I ended up not too far. It was near where he worked- a trailer park filled with trash and other dirt.

As I begin to call his name I begin to feel insane. I went back home as did my sister. In he comes with this big lie, the truth I knew, but he would deny.

Days later we would sit in my pastor's office. Husband now confesses his lover; it all started when she lost her mother. Now the truth was out.

I suggested, "Let's just forgive and pray, the Lord will take us through another day."

Husband said,
"No, that's not what I want- not yet any way.
Her husband is gone; she wants me to stay.
Give me a few weeks- to live an adulterous life,
I'll come back... then you can be my wife."

Pastor looked and shook his head,
"Man are you crazy, what does the bible say? She has a right to divorce you, she can just walk away."

"Pastor, it's okay he's Husband, let's do this his way. I've asked God to help me forgive, I've asked Him to show me how to live."

He stayed gone for about 2 months, came back home but not to God.

"Lord," I cried, "I told you want my marriage to work."

He replied, " I told you, you both have to want it to work."

Words of encouragement:

I know my plans for you; they are good.
You'll have a husband, and so you should.
I've tested and matured your love for me,
I even gave you new identity.
I had you in the furnace; didn't allow you to burn.
Now, look back on it and share what you've learned.

When the Lord allows us to experience life, it's important to acknowledge Him in it and grow from it. Remember, "This too shall pass"