Here we go again.

Theres something about his ego that i just can't resist.
A touch of forever in his laugh, that i've tried not to miss.
I long to be a character in one of his stories or love notes.
A hint of nostalgia, kisses in the rain and painful anecdotes.
Sometimes I think i've moved on and forgotten all the pain.
The worst part is, if could i'd do it all again.
I long for him to want me, touch and need.
Alchol, cigarettes, dancefloors, sex, raves and speed.
I remember how he'd say sorry and it would all go away.
To be hurt the next time, often the next day.
His words are scratched in all over me, like tattoo's in the rain.
I try to wash them away, but they will always remain.
A stained kiss in lipstick, tells the same tale.
A relationship he really wanted ended and went stale.
Is it terrible that i wanted that?
No happy endings or sunrises, just hatred i once spat.
If i loved him I would want him to be happy no matter what.
But if it's with her, will i just fade, will i be forgot?
I know he'll make it big and everyone will know,
how he breaks hearts just to make his ego grow.
I'll kiss the bottle and swear i'll never be a victim again.
I'll go home, make-up stained and hit some paper with a pen.
I'd already said goodbye which makes it even harded to understand why.
The only time i get close to spilling my heart with ink,
is when my heart races and my brain begins to sink.
All logic and iwse words can be put out in the bin.
This is no game, he is not the goal if i win.
Have i fallen in love with a past memory? If he's changed it's wont be the same.
No cliches of falling, this is no olympic game.