After You've Watched Your Friend Die

This monologue is from a play written with four of my friends, however, I did write this monologue. This was for drama class. The actual full play will be up soon.
The monologue is about a woman named Emery who, as a teenager, often found herself drunk and high. When tensions were tight among her friends, words were spoken and tears were shed. When Dahlia, her closest friend out of the group, is hurt more than anyone by what one of the others says, she takes Emery home with her. Emery watches Dahlia get hit by a car and runs back to their other friends. She doesn't go back to the scene. This monologue takes place 15 years after the accident.

EMERY
Hi Dahlia. Sorry I forgot flowers again. I can't believe it's been 15 years since the accident. That was the worst day of my life and has haunted me since then. I can still see the image: the car racing toward you and then hitting you from the side. A small scream was all that could escape your lips. Your body was crushed underneath the front of the car. I didn't see if you were okay, I just ran. I ran from you. I couldn't help you so I ran to get help, but I didn't go back. I felt to guilty and I still do. I saw that car but was to messed up to say anything. I'm so sorry you can't be with us. I always thought I could survive on drugs and alcohol, temporary pain relievers, but I realized how truly cold hearted the world was without you. The day you died I tried to kill myself, but for some reason I couldn't. My wrists still bare scars of that day. It didn't help that our friends wished I was dead over you. They blamed me because I was there; just because I saw you die.

After your death I wanted to change, and I did for awhile. I met an amazing guy named Liam and we got married and have 2 of the best boys anyone could ask for. But I just couldn't stand it anymore, the stress of life and raising a family. It all forced me back into my downward spiral. Liam thinks I've stopped and I can't bare to tell him the truth. I wish you were here to help me. I just wish you could be here with your own family. I know you would have been a great mother because that's what you were like to me. I love you and miss you so much and I know you've heard it all before, but I just wanted to say sorry once again. I'm going to get you flowers now; I'll be back soon.