For Josh

You see me in a different light than everyone else. To the rest of the world I’m just an average American girl, but with you I’m like some sort of goddess or an angel on earth. I’m an image of perfection in your eyes, or so it sometimes seems; the perfect example of what a girl should be. I worry that I won’t live up to that perfect image that you have of me. I fear that someday you will see me for a fraud, a flawed normal average dull, unexciting, and unimportant person. This is probably one of my greatest fears because I would hate myself if I disappointed you of all people.
You are always there for me to talk to after I’ve had a bad day. You make me think of the good things in life rather than dwelling on all the bad. There are many reasons why I fell in love with you two summers ago. I could write on entire book on the things I love about you. First and most importantly your passion and enthusiasm for God and for life has always inspired me. The way you are so upbeat and positive makes you easy to be around. I love the way you listen to me ramble and actually care what I’m talking about or at least pretend to care. I like the way you wiggle your eyebrows at me as you leave, as if to say I can’t wait to see you again. (I don’t know if that’s what is intended but that’s the way I see it.) I love the way you look at me. I’m not sure if I can even explain or describe it. No one looks at me the same way you do. This may sound cheesy or whatever, but it’s like when you look at me you see me all of me even the most vulnerable parts I try to hide deep down inside me, you see it all. Like somehow you can see inside me, like you know the ways of heart and soul. Another thing is that when you look at me I can see the passion in your eyes, and when I’m there looking into your eyes all my doubts about how much you really care vanish. Because when I’m there looking into your eyes I see it I can feel how much you really do care about me. Even though sometimes you like to pretend that you don’t.
I like the clothes you wear and the way you do your hair, the way you are freakishly tidy and somewhat obsessive about it. I love the way you get excited over the little things in life, like a game of volleyball or a Will Ferrell movie. I love all the things we have in common and especially the way we share a common faith and we have no problem expressing our opinions about it. I even enjoy the little arguments we have. (Mostly the ones I win though.) I like your sense of humor and how my laugh comes easy when you’re around. I could probably write 1,000 pages on the things I like about you, but that would require a lot of work and it would waste a lot of trees. But I will go on for a bit more. I enjoy all of your little catch phrase, even when they don’t make any sense in how you use them. And I like the way you are always singing me songs, well I’m not sure if you’re singing them to me or I just happen to be listening while you are singing. Either way it always brings a smile to my face, brightens my day and brings joy into my life.
That’s what you do you bring joy into my life.
I don’t know if I’ll ever send this or you’ll ever read it but if you do read this I hope you enjoy it. And I’ll probably want you to write me a letter in return nothing fancy just some of the thoughts you had while reading this. You know no big.
What I’m trying to say is you mean a lot to me even if we aren’t technically together anymore my heart will always hold a special place for you Joshua Reynolds. No one can fill your shoes.