VH1.05 - Covet (part 1)

When I look back on the end, I know the minute it happened. That day, if I could have erased it, I would. I thought it would have been everything I needed, everything I wanted, but it came at a price neither Violet or I were prepared to pay. That day started with a memory she wasn’t supposed to have, a memory that should have been enough to silence her forever…and ended with the words that had the potential to silence me forever.

***************************


“What are you doing here?” Luke asked.

Violet shoved past him, letting herself into his upper west Vienna Heights apartment.

“I thought I told security not to let you in the building.” He closed the door behind her.

She said nothing, only marched over to his couch and folded her arms as she sat down. She was angry. Scowling. That’s when she noticed that she’d come at a bad time. Luke had been in the shower and now stood before her in nothing more than a gray towel around his midsection and a several droplets of water dripping down off his hair and onto his naked chest.

“Put some clothes on!” She whined.

“It’s my apartment! If I want to wear a towel, I’ll wear a towel. And, if I want to take it off--”

“Please. I’ve seen you naked enough this month to do me for the rest of my life.”

Luke groaned and disappeared down a small corridor off to the left. He went into the room at the end of this small corridor and closed the door behind him. When he was gone, she took a note of his apartment. He’d used the same motifs for New Vienna. Everything was in blacks and whites. Here, the floors were covered in black carpet, the couch was black leather, the tables, counters and walls, though, were all white. A moment later, he returned. He’d at least put on pants and a t-shirt. Black, naturally.

“Fine. Are you happy now?”

“No.” Violet crossed her legs. “A good host offers his guest coffee.”

“You’re not my guest!” He looked at her, dumbstruck.

“Then why did you invite me over here?” She asked.

“I didn’t!”

“Oh.” She remembered. “Could we pretend you did and you make me some coffee? I kind of need to talk to someone and, well…if it’s a bad time, I’ll go.”

Luke hadn’t shaved in days, not since the event at the Pelican Landing. He looked like he hadn’t been getting enough sleep. Violet hadn’t slept well, either, and for the first time in a while, that wasn’t entirely my fault. Seeing Calpresi had jarred something in her.

“It’s not a bad time,” he grumbled. “Just stay here. I’ll fix you some damn coffee.”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “Cream and--”

“Cream and two sugars. I know.” He shoved through the kitchen door before she could inquire as to how exactly he knew that.

He’d installed a huge mirror, similar to the one along the wall behind the bar at New Vienna. This one was along the wall opposing the couch. He struck her as the type who liked to watch himself when he entertained his little female friends. She’d never seen his bedroom, but, there were probably mirrors on the ceiling in there. In that moment, she appreciated how conservative his brother was. Sometimes, Phillip didn’t even bother getting undressed. That was, at least, on the days he could be bothered to touch her.

We almost looked pretty, I thought as she was looking in the mirror. She’d pulled our hair back, away from our face and she was wearing one of the few dresses she had that wasn’t some boring shade of beige or pink. This one was lilac, sleeveless, with a flared hem. Girly, sure, but at least it was a real color.

“Here.” Luke said, shoving a mug in front of her face a few minutes later. “It’s instant. I’m out of the good stuff.”

“It’ll do.” She took a sip. It was perfect. Not too much sugar. Not too much cream. Then, she set the cup down on the table in front of them while he parked himself as far from her as he could get, on the opposite end of the sofa. “I’m sorry to just show up here like this.”

“It’s very rude, not calling first. I would think you’d have better manners.”

Violet chuckled. “And, who was it showing up at my place without calling? I also vaguely remember you breaking and entering.”

“I did not. I had a key.”

“A stolen key.”

“A key is a key. Besides. I saved your life. You can’t be mad at me for showing up uninvited.”

Violet laughed again. “Saved my life? Hardly.”

Mock offense spread over Luke’s face. “I found you near death, drowning in a pool of your own vomit, curled up in the fetal position, clinging to the few breaths of life you had left, and then carried you to bed where I nursed you back to health.”

“What color is the sky on your planet, Luke?”

He stopped smiling when he saw the big smile on her face. That was a shame. Since he apparently liked her, I, therefore, had to hate him (it’s one of the laws of the universe). He sure was cute, though, with that dark hair and those bright, blue eyes, eyes that seemed just a little bit brighter when he looked at her. I wondered if she could see it, too.

“Why are you here?” He asked.

“Phillip left again. This morning, before I woke up.”

“And, you think I can help you somehow?”

She picked her coffee back up again, nearly scalding herself as she downed another drink before responding. “You’re his brother. You’ve known him longer than I have. I don’t know how to take him. Things are great one minute, then, the next he’s acting like I’m more his roommate than his fiancée. I‘m supposed to be marrying him and he can‘t even say goodbye to me before he leaves?”

Luke folded one leg square over the other. This was making him uncomfortable, but, she couldn’t tell. She, after all, hadn’t been the one who overheard that little conversation on the balcony.

“He sent me flowers,” Violet went on. “Beautiful pink roses and a card saying he hoped I felt better. This was just after I’d puked on him. I thought he was mad at me that morning, and, then, the flowers came. Sure, he played it off when I brought it up again, but, I know it was him. Who else could have sent them?”

“Yeah,” Luke mumbled. “Who else?”

“And, when we were leaving for St. Bartholomew’s fundraiser, he said I looked nice. Of course, Alison, he thought looked beautiful. That’s what it all keeps coming back to. Alison. I blame you for that, by the way.”

“Well, at least it’s given you something else to blame on me. I’m still living down you holding me responsible for the oil crisis, Kitten.”

“Give it time, Mercer. I’ll connect you to the gas prices. Just, give it time.”

Luke took the throw pillow from behind his back and tossed it at her. She put down her coffee just quick enough to grab it and hold it against her chest as their conversation continued.

“So,” he asked. “What exactly is it that you want to know?”

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. How do I overcome this history Alison and he have?”

Luke took a deep breath. If he was going to make a move - and I, personally, hoped he wouldn’t - he’d have to do it now.

“You’re younger than he is. You’re still in your early twenties. You’ve seen success at such a tender age. I think you wrote your first book when you were a teenager at the Ram Wesley Center?”

Violet nodded. “I know where I was. We don’t have to discuss that now.”

“Right. Sorry. I’m just pointing out that, my brother…I’m our father’s namesake. I’m the eldest. I’m the one who was supposed to follow in his footsteps therefore giving my brother the freedom to develop into his own person. I didn’t do that, I became the black sheep and, so, all the pressures that should have been put on me were applied to Phillip. He felt like he had to become a lawyer, he had to marry a smart, beautiful, socially-acceptable woman, he had to do so many things that fit our father’s original goals for me. So, when he went to college and he met Alison, he thought he was doing just that. His grades were good, he was madly in love with her, our family loved her, and it just made sense. He asked her to marry him and, at first, she agreed, until graduation came and she started getting cold feet. She didn’t want to go into law anymore. She got offered a job working for Preston’s Miami branch and she left. Phillip went on to law school, and then moved back here, to Vienna Heights and, I don’t think he ever got over her leaving and disrupting his plans.”

Violet nodded. “I know that. I know he loved her, but, how do I make him remember he loves me, too?”

Luke took another deep breath. “He met you soon after he moved back. You were this brilliant writer, the progeny of Thomas Donovan, owner of one of the most famous buildings in all of Vienna Heights before it burned to a crisp, and Gretchen and Lucas adore you. You fit what was necessary for him. I think he does love you, but, I think that he’s so blinded by seeing what he originally intended for himself within his grasp again that he’s forgotten that. And, I’m just sorry for the part I played in making you feel as bad as you do. You may not believe it, but, that was never my intent, Violet. I thought, maybe, if you saw how he’d react to being around Alison again, it might save you the heartache of when she eventually came back on her own. She’s just like Phillip, always looking for something comfortable.”

Violet did believe him. She could see that sparkle of genuine consideration in his eyes. It was a foreign expression on him. She’d never seen anything other than the snide womanizer. At least, not until lately. He actually seemed to care about her. Well, as much as Luke Mercer could care.

And, that scared her.

“My mother told me not to confront her, that, this would go away on its own and, I thought she was right. Maybe she wasn’t. Maybe I should be having this conversation with Alison.”

“I think I’m going to head over to New Vienna, make sure everything’s in order for the opening tonight, see if I can get in a couple more interviews for the bartender position.”

“Jill not working out? You haven’t even opened yet and you’re already getting rid of people?”

Luke scratched his stubbly jaw. “She’s kind of weird. You know how I took her to that St. Bartholomew’s thing a few nights ago? Well, she’s kept calling me, telling me what a good time she had, like we were on a first date or something.”

“Oh, Luke,” Violet beamed, standing up and smoothing a crinkle on her dress. “You sure do attract the crazies.”

Wow. Was that the pot calling the kettle black or what?

“It’s the plight of being the most charming man alive. Will you be there tonight?”

Violet nodded. “I assume even if you did kick Phillip out of the project, he’ll want to go. Hey, why did you do that, again?”

This time, a more familiar expression returned to his face, the expression of a man with a plan. “I have my reasons. See you tonight.”

**************************

The Fowler Suites had been reconstructed in the image of Thomas Donovan’s apartments. He had a hand in designing everything. He’d always admired the creepy mansion in the hills, the gothic styling of Mercer Manor. So, he had everything in his apartments done in rich blacks and grays and the architecture was a perfect mimic of the truly old style he appreciated so much. It was all so fitting, that the place was as morbid as it was, considering what he let go on there.

Alison was supposed to be in room 412. I thought we could handle it, just going up to the fourth floor. So long as she didn’t have to take the stairs and didn’t have to go to the eighth floor, maybe I could keep those memories she was repressing under control.

The second she stepped inside the door, I could feel the familiarity wash over her. She could remember being there, all the times when the bad man wasn’t. She could remember Daisy taking her through the building, showing her the rooms, telling her how this new project was going to be a fresh start for all of them.

I should have known things weren’t going to go smoothly. First, the lift was broken, just like it‘d been that night. If she’d been able to take the lift, she would have avoided the stairs. They looked just like Thomas’ stairs, down to the ugly checkerboard rug covering them.

She took those first four flights with relative ease. The higher up she went, the more she could remember about that night, the last night she was there. Part of her could smell the scent of Thomas’ old golf shirt. He was wearing it that night. It’s why he had the clubs there. One of his friends out in the country had a private course. He was going to go stay there for a while, until he could get his head back together after finding out about Daisy.

The door to 412 was standing open. Most of the doors along that floor were. And, there were caution signs and tape up, warning people to watch their step. The carpeting all was soaking wet, some of the wallpaper close to the floors peeling. A man in a maintenance hat came out of 412, just as she stepped off of the stairs.

“You need to get something out of one of the rooms, Miss?”

“No. I’m actually looking for the lady who was in 412.” Lady. That was certainly one word to use to describe her. “What happened here?”

“Pipe burst last night. Flooded everything. The people on this floor have been moved. 412’s in 826 now?”

826?

“826?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Thank you.”

The man in the maintenance hat went back into the room. She could hear the whir of a vacuum coming to life as she glanced up the stairs.

“Don’t go up there,” I whispered to her. “Just turn around and go home. Wait until you see her out somewhere. You don’t need to go up there.”

“Yes I do,” she whispered back. She’d heard me. Most of the time what I said didn’t register. This time, I was coming through loud and clear. It’d be more damaging than I realized.

Violet put her hand on the banister and pulled herself up on the first step, the second, the third, until before she knew it, she was standing on the seventh floor landing, looking up at the eighth flight.

That’s when it happened.

The dizziness came back. It overwhelmed her until she was sitting down on the steps because to do anything else would mean falling. Her head, it felt like it was splitting in two. She had no idea how accurate that was. “No,” she cried holding her hands over her hears. She could hear the screaming again, even if she couldn’t remember it.

“It’ll be OK,” I told her again. “Just, please, Violet. Try to relax. Remember what I told you. If you close your eyes, it’s not so bad.”

There was no stopping the floodgates now that they were opened. Now, I could only hope to carry her through this and that, when it was over, she couldn’t remember it. It’d kill her if she remembered everything.

Violet closed her eyes and, unlike when she saw Calpresi, when she opened them again, she could see herself. She could see herself when she was a little girl, and in her mind, there was a girl who looked just like her standing by her side, holding her hand.

***

“I don’t want to go up there,” Violet said to the little girl. “Iris, you told me we won’t have to go up there anymore.”

“No,” I told her. “I said you wouldn’t have to go anymore. I still have to. But, I promise you, after tonight, he won’t be able to hurt us anymore. Things are different now. I’ll make sure they stay that way.”

“Can I go to sleep again?” She asked.

“Yeah, Violet. You go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s over, like I always do.”

And, she did. Violet went back to sleep again. She went back to the dark place and left me standing there, alone, looking up at the stairs.

When I reached the top, I saw Thomas coming out of room 826, hauling his golf clubs and a suitcase. How he could keep coming back to that room over and over again the way he did, knowing what he allowed to happen there, it was beyond me.

“Go back wherever it is you came from.” He said to me, lugging the suitcase and those golf clubs out to the stairs. “You know, I’m not sure who’s more messed up, you or that mother of yours. At least she doesn’t blame her actions on an imaginary friend.”

“I’m not imaginary.” I told him. “You saw to it that her imaginary friend became as real as you or Violet.”

He snickered. “You can’t put this at my doorstep, Violet. Iris. Whatever you’re calling yourself.”

“Can’t I? Daisy’s not really worth her weight in pudding as a mother, but, she never did to Violet what you did. And, all so you wouldn’t lose this building? You’d subject your child to that?”

Thomas was so angry. His face was full of the anger and his eyes were narrow. I thought he could have killed us. That made it a little easier, knowing what Daisy had brought me there for.

“Get out of my way!” He demanded. “You’re nothing to me. After everything I did to make sure you’d have a future? Everything that I’ve sacrificed? If there’s someone you want to be pissed off at, it should be Daisy. You’re nothing now because of her.”

“No,” I kept my voice low, calm. “I’m nothing now because of what you did. But, Violet, she can be something because of what I did and what I’m going to do. Thanks to me, she’ll never remember what you put her through. She’ll never remember that this building was your sole motivation for doing it. She’ll never remember that the man she idolized loved a pile of bricks more than he could love her.”

Thomas put the suitcase down and kneeled next to me. He was near the edge of the stairs now. He was so condescending, maybe because he thought he was talking to a child. He didn’t understand that because of him, we’d never be children again.

“I’m going to tell them. All of them. I’ll tell them what Daisy did, who you really are, and you’ll be lucky if homeless shelters will have you. I can’t wait until the day I bring the papers over and can throw that bitch and her little brat out on the streets. I pulled that woman out of the gutters and turned her into someone who fit into our world. I can cast her out of it just as easily. And, you? I should have known the truth about you.”

It had to be done. I kept telling myself that. If there was another way, it was lost on me.

“You won’t have a chance to throw us out. See, the thing is, the grieving widow always looks better to the public than the discarded divorcee. You’re going to ruin Daisy’s life and you’ve already done quite a bit of damage to Violet’s. I could tell them what you did, but, I don’t really think it’d be best for Violet, allowing the prying eye of the public to attend to such a private matter. And, it doesn’t help that the man you let do this to her is capable of silencing all of us in more ways than one if his name is ever mentioned. You see what the common denominator is, don’t you? Eliminate one, and the rest, maybe they can stabilize.”

Thomas blinked. “Eliminate?”

I think he saw it, in my eyes, just before I pushed him. I think in that split second, he realized I wasn’t Violet. Violet cried when he squashed spiders. There I was, someone with his little girl’s face, shoving him back, watching him bounce down the stairs like a rubber ball.

There was blood all over that white shirt of his. He lay at the bottom of the stairs, motionless for a moment. I thought he was dead. I thought it’d be that easy, but I was wrong. He started moving, slithering away like the snake he was. I couldn’t let him get away. So, I grabbed the first thing I saw, one of those shiny golf clubs he’d hauled out of his room.

I went down each step, taking them gracefully, like a lady. I think his legs must have been broken. He didn’t make it very far before I caught up to him.

“Please,” he gurgled blood when he said it, choking on his pleas. I almost felt bad for him. Maybe I did a little. Maybe that’s why I got it over with as quickly as I could.

I raised the club up over my head, as high up as I could get it and--



***
“Violet?”

Alison’s voice quickly caused the world Violet and I were swept up in to fade away. When it was gone, I was the only one who was left. I couldn’t feel Violet at all. Being alone felt like being naked all of a sudden. I knew remembering would be bad. I knew if she remembered anything about Thomas or what happened to him, she’d receded so far back, I didn’t know if I could reach her.

“Hey, Alison.” I said, standing. I’d have to do my best impersonation of Violet. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“I live here.”

“Right. I just mean, on this floor. They said there was pipe or something that ruptured? Hope there wasn’t much damage done to your things.”

Alison started downstairs. “No, fortunately. They’re not even charging me for my stay so far. Pretty generous, huh?”

I nodded. “I wonder why they put you in 826?”

“I asked for it. I think the view’s very lovely. You can see Mercer Manor from the window.”

Asked for it? Why didn’t I like the sound of that?

“Are you going somewhere?” I needed to get in that room. I wasn’t like this at all. It’s one thing her showing up like she did, that could be attributed to Luke and his crush on Violet. But, there was something more to this. I had to find out what it was.

“To see my mother. I take the train every afternoon to go see her since I’ve been back in Vienna Heights. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late. I don’t want to miss my train.”

“Oh, alright. Well, hope you have a good trip.”

Alison didn’t budge. “I’ll walk you down.”

“That’s OK.” I tried to come up with an excuse for staying there. “I have someone else in the building I need to see.”

“There’s no one else on this floor.” Alison said.

“Right. Maybe I was mistaken, then.”

I didn’t like her face. I usually didn’t like her face, but, I specifically didn’t like the look on it. She started down the seventh flight, looking back at me, expecting me to follow. I did. I had no choice.

“It must be difficult for you to be back here. I’m sure this place brings up all kinds of old demons for you, doesn’t it, Violet?”

I had to remind myself that there was no way she could know. She was just trying to get under Violet’s skin. I kept up with her as she descended the stairs.

“You’d be surprised the things we do to settle our demons.”

Alison stopped when we reached the bottom and turned back to me. “I’ll see you tonight, then? At the opening of New Vienna.”

“I can almost guarantee it.” I told her.

******************************

It wasn’t until I pulled up outside of Daisy’s townhouse that I got through to Benny. He must’ve been using his lunch break to chat up one of those 1-900 line women. “Malone Investigations,” he said when he picked up.

“It’s Ir---Violet. It’s Violet. I need you to do something for me.” I closed Violet’s car door and headed up the walkway.

“You got the money, I’ve got the time. Whatcha need?”

“Alison’s on her way to the train station. I need to know where she’s going and what she does when she gets there. Keep an eye on her until I tell you otherwise. You understand?”

“Aye, aye, Cap’n.” Benny hung up. He’d deliver. I knew he would. He loved money as much as I loved Cheese Puffs and beer.

I’d been so distracted by talking to him I didn’t notice another car parked off Daisy’s drive. It was a Lincoln and a rather nice Lincoln - well, that would be if Lincolns weren’t the cars of old people. I didn’t bother knocking when I showed up. After all, I was family. Family didn’t have to knock.

I really should have knocked.

No, better yet, I shouldn’t have come there at all. I should have snuck back in Alison’s room and figured out what exactly - if anything - the little bitch knew.

“Daisy!” I screamed out. “Get down here. I don’t care who or what you’re doing, this is an emergency!”

I went into the parlor and found the service cart by the fireplace, on which she kept several decanters of various liquors. I chose the bourbon. It wasn’t beer and there were no Cheese Puffs to be found, but, it’d do.

“Good lord,” Daisy complained as she came downstairs, tightening her robe. I thought maybe she’d been up there molesting another cabana boy, and then I remembered the Lincoln and wondered if she’d graduated to men her own age. “What on earth do you want?”

“Violet’s gone.” I told her. I was shaking. I never shook before. Maybe it was that coffee Luke gave Violet. Caffeine was never good for us.

“What happened?” I could see the sorrow on her face. She feared those words.

“She got the bright idea to go to the Fowler Suites and chat up her boyfriend’s girlfriend, who, incidentally, got moved - by her choice - to room 826. She hit the stairs and had a freaking meltdown. She started remembering the night I killed her fa--the night I killed Thomas. Then, Alison showed up and interrupted and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the stairs and Violet was nowhere.”

“Nowhere?” Daisy was pale as she sat down. “She can’t just disappear, can she?”

I threw my hands up in the air. “Beats the hell out of me. I don’t know how to react to this. One minute, she’s here and she’s being an annoying, ever-present pain in my ass and the next, I can’t feel her!” I threw the glass across the room. Daisy’s ceiling must’ve been leaking like the ceiling in Jude’s church. There was water dripping down my cheeks again.

“Iris…” Daisy stood up and started to walk towards me.

“I can’t feel her, Daisy.” I was on the verge of collapsing. She wrapped her arms around me. I’m pretty sure it was the first time I’d ever been hugged before. “I thought it’d be good when she was gone, but, it’s not. I don’t know how to think or feel and, I know she’s in there somewhere, but, there’s this hole where she usually is. What do I do?”

Daisy pulled away, but kept her hands on my arms. She glanced over her shoulder, and that’s when I saw him standing there, in the aperture between the parlor and the grand entryway. He had this smile on his face, like he was trying to be soothing, comforting.

“Hello, Iris.” The man with the sandy hair said. He looked older than I remembered him.

“Dr. Glass?” I almost didn’t believe it was him. His clothing was a mess. Daisy must not have wasted much time when he blew back into town.

“I was hoping I’d get the chance to see you again while I was here.”

I pulled away from Daisy. “No. No, I know what this is. You’re not here to see me. You’re here to make me go away!” I shouted.

“No one wants to make you go away, Iris.” Dr. Glass. That tone of his. So condescending, so patronizing. Just like Thomas. No wonder they used to be friends. “We just want to help you.”

“You want to help?” I wiped the water on my face away. Was this how caged animals felt? “You go back in time. You talk your little whore Daisy into making some better choices for herself and for her daughter.”

“Iris, please!” Daisy reached out for me, but I shoved her away. She landed on the couch. The part of me that was grateful she didn’t break her neck must’ve been Violet. “We’re just trying to help you.”

“You can’t help me!” I yelled. “Not you and certainly not your boyfriend the doctor. There’s only one person who can help me. I shouldn’t have come here.”

I moved Dr. Glass out of my way and rushed for the door. He started after me, even grabbed my arm so forcefully I thought the bone would snap. I balled my fist and sent it flying into his face, just barely getting away from them.

They weren’t going to try that again. They weren’t going to try to trick me into going away again. Didn’t they see Violet needed me? She couldn’t handle the truth. The thing of it was, I’m not sure I could handle anything else. I knew for sure I couldn’t handle feeling that way and there was only one place I could turn to.