10 " Dances " I sat for hours back at the house, bewildered and mad at the same time. Somehow I began to understand what my father said when he used that crude expression. Now it had meaning. I really didn't know whether to shit or go blind! I was getting tired of this closed mouth town. I was the one who faced ridicule by asking questions. It was real to me so I wanted to know if any one ever had an experience like this before. I had been taking all this with a grain of salt but it was beginning to be too real. I couldn't explain it but knew that what I saw and heard was something real yet surreal. The voice that woke me and the trance that I seemed to be in. Trips to the tree at night and the stones from the yard. With the crows constantly following me. All I wanted was for the big Indian to give me some input. Something to settle my mind about these things. If it was part of his beliefs, I wanted to understand them better. If these things ever happened to anyone else around here. The whole thing seemed incredible to me; after all it was a hundred years ago. You would think people would want to hear a story like this. Perhaps even the bums in the bar. Hell they always could use a good laugh. The more I thought about it the more I got annoyed. The only ones that seemed to want to talk about this were me and the voice in my head. Hell! Anybody would need a drink after all this crap. The drinking idea made it's way back inside my head and the idea would have given birth had it not been for Reddog's echoing words, " " You were probably drunk." The bottle in my hand took on a whole new meaning then it was worth as I steadied the cap back on and returned it to it's place on the counter. This was bullshit. I flopped back onto the couch resigned to the fact that what had started out as a good day had definitely now gone south. "Screw him! Screw everybody! As soon as this job is done I'm out of here." I yanked the unzipped sleeping bag then formed it into a blanket over my half naked body and went to sleep. "Onaquacome, my son, awake. You must go to the tree. You have much to do yet." He commanded. "Come on, give me a break!" I awoke even more annoyed. "It is answers you want, do you not?" He read my mind. "You bet your ass I do." I fought the dream state to wake up. "Do not fight it my son. You were meant to come here. Rise up and go to the tree." "I need sleep." Still trying to fight it. I felt myself rising up uncontrollably, putting my shoes on and heading for the front door. I stepped out into the darkness and walked past my truck. Something was different here. I heard voices but not the fathers'. They were children's voices; laughing playful voices. I stretched my hands out to each side. I could not see them but swore I felt them around me dancing in circles as if in some kind of game chasing each other. I moved my outstretched arms and turned in circles, joining in this surreal dance of madness. They were there his sons and I could feel their presence. Could hear their laughter. Slowly I walked out the drive and toward the end of the street. The anger that I awoke with was waining and awe replaced by their dance and presence. I smiled as I looked around to see if I could indeed see them. "Hey you guys? You are real aren't you?" They laughed with me. Wonder replaced the anger and joy filled my heart. It was magical. There now was purpose to this. This dance of the dead renewed my spirits and took hold of me. I could almost make out their shape as we closed in on the tree. I hadn't been drinking and this was not my imagination. Something wonderful was happening as they led me to the tree, the thinking tree. I sat upon the mighty oak root as if some arm extended from it's base and called on my Creator. "Great Spirit of my forefathers, hear my voice. Allow me to understand and see what it is I am to do." The two boys danced off toward the beach as I now could see them take form in a distance. They ran toward the beach while women appeared along the shore. The sun shined bright as men in canoes made for the shore bringing fish and crabs in all sorts of baskets; passing them to the waiting women on the shore. Fires burned and racks of fish hung in it's smoke to dry. It was a moment in time long ago. A happy place where children played along the shores while peace filled the air. A calmness like I had never seen before, tranquil. It filled my pores. "Once this land prospered and peace and happiness filled our people. But badness came in and a bad spirit followed it, then many troubles." Suddenly everything vanished before my eyes and I returned to the crystalline darkness as The Great One spoke again. "You are confused as to why you are here!" "Yes Great Spirit." "The father spoke to you. Told you that you had to walk through the fire before you felt the water." "Yes , he said that." "What does it mean to you? Can you feel it?" "The fire is badness I feel. The water will free the badness and refresh." I could feel what he said but without understanding. "You are here because of the badness. Not yours but that of others. Within you there are fires burning also." The Great One paused. "This world is consumed with such fire. You have come to bring the waters. Come to this place to set this matter straight and other matters which you will know. There is a pureness in your heart. Truth in you just as your forefathers." "I don't understand?" "You will soon." He reassured me. "But Great One, how will I know what to do? What to say? And whom do I speak to?" "You will know. You will feel it and it will burn inside you like fire. Then you will tell others and they will know also. Know that I am the same God as all their forefathers. That I see all things and will bring all things to bear! Making all things right in it's appointed time." A deep reverence fell upon me and I felt humbled . He spoke again. "Did you think it was just for the two sons that you have come here? There is more, much more. Go now and take the sons with you because they are now your sons also. Soon you will be whole as they soon will be." With those words I imagined that somehow I was about to die a horrible death. "Thank you, Great Spirit." My voice trembled. "Go Onaquacome. Soon the peace will return and justice will be served. You will not have to do anything but allow yourself to be the vessel for the waters. Feel your heritage my son. Your obedience will bring you great peace and happiness." "Thank you Great Spirit. Give me strength." The sons danced all the way back to the house in this surreal playground. The warmth grew inside me as I felt them. Something wonderful was happening. The anger and doubt had left. Hope and a sense of purpose now led me. I somehow didn't want so many answers, only which direction I would go next. The why would become evident. The how would become reality. I was sure of it now and smiled as the boys danced and ran ahead laughing. I wanted to join them and ask questions about their life but I knew their brief appearance was just part of the reassuring the Great Spirit had imparted. Something important was about to take place.The intrigue of it all now filled my mind with new thoughts, wondering what else was about to happen and how I would fit into this cosmic puzzle that I somehow was chosen to solve. What else was going on here in Oak Orchard? Maybe the town had some deep dark secret and I was about to expose it. I wondered who I was supposed to talk to and who would give me answers. Was it Reddog? My first guess was no since he avoids me and my questions with regularity, not to mention his last warning. Maybe I would meet someone new. Maybe it was the boy that gave me the clover. My mind swirled with new thoughts. The job itself was secondary to me and my beliefs were being challenged. I never would have thought of talking to a dead spirit, let alone the Great Spirit himself. I had all the reasons I needed to stay here now. Something good was going to happen. I could feel it. But what? WC 1549 |