My Story

This is going to be difficult. There’s a video on YouTube about a message that I sent to a young woman, where I was asking for advice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fyk7jTzw_H4    there has been a couple of video responses and comments about it, where I can tell that some don’t really understand the situation so rite now I’m going to tell the whole story which I didn’t put in the message. (thank so much misskitty, and fellow youtubers for your support)

*the situation has already been reported to authorities*

*inhale* it all started years ago when I was about 11. My mom met this guy at a pool party and brought him home. He said that he had just gotten out of jail and that he used to be a crack addict. I’m not quite sure if she let him sleep at the house that night or another but it was one night. Now mind you, my bedroom is downstairs and she let him sleep in the living room which is downstairs also and I don’t have a door to my room. But anyways, time went by and they were seeing each other. He seemed to b a nice guy, and I had never really had a father figure in my life besides my brother and my grandfather. he started treating like his daughter and I started to love him like he was my dad and started calling him daddy, he would buy me stuff, clothes food, Christmas and birthday presents. Omg he was the best. 

until one night he came into my room (around 9 pm) while I was sleeping, now mind you that I am a very hard sleeper, so I didn’t realize initially that he was on top of me humping me.  When I did realize it, I was scared and in shock, I started shaking and stuff, meanwhile my mom is at home without a clue of what was going on right below her. The next morning I was traumatized. He went to take my mom to work and I was shaking when my mom spoke to me and I could see the concern on her face but she didn’t say anything.

When it happened a second time I was kind of fed up and I told my mom that he was COMING IN MY ROOM I didn’t have the courage to say that he was humping and molesting me. When I told her that, she said that she'd talk to him. But I don’t think she ever did because it kept happening, over and over again, and I told her once more and nothing happened.  Around this time I’m about 12 and soon he actually stated raping me. And I started keeping a knife under my bed. I went to my mother once more and told her that I didn’t feel safe living with him in the house and that one of us has to go either me or him (I was going to kill one of us). and she said ".....you would want me to give him up wouldn’t you." that really caught me off guard because that is so unlike her, it didn’t used to be like that, I was her P.I.C. damn Sherry why? I still love my mother with all my heart and I know she did too. At that time I realized that all the nice stuff my step ass hole was doing was just for show and wasn't free.

I started talking to my friends about it and they were like, we gonna tell somebody if u don’t. So I started talking to my French teacher at the time who I loved to death. And she was like “do you want me to call social services?" and I told her yes. the next day a social worker can to the school and talked to me and then the day after that apparently they were going to investigate the situation and I had to be taken out of my mom’s custody, so my brother picked me up from school early and told me to go in the crib and get my stuff because ima be staying at my grandparents home for a while.

While I was at their house I was so unhappy and depressed that I started take the actions to kill myself. I would cut myself, starve, pop pills...damn. Meanwhile my mom and that dude were apparently still together cuz he still lived in the house. and my brother was finally like "nigga u gotta get da fuck up  out my house so my baby sister can come back" so I think that he gave dat ass hole money from his own bank account to go get his own apartment and to get groceries and da guy didn’t have to pay my brother back.

so while I’m still at my grandparents house my pastor came to talk to me cuz she had heard about my situation...that's another story.

I got separated in May of 06 and I had turn 14 that March, I got to go home in late July of the same year. Soon after I went home I heard that there was going to be a youth revival, so I went. On the second night of revival I got saved. Yall that was the best thing that had ever happened to me, I got free from self destruction and more.
When I was home everything was just peachy my mom and I were ok and fairly happy we avoided the subject very often. Until I started cutting myself again and then some considered in home counseling for me. So we did that and I had slipped up and told the intern counselor what had happened and she told the regular counselor. (They were mandated to report the situation. so my mom had to find out that I was raped. when she found that out, we both cried together and she was so sorry about stuff.

Comes to find out while the guy was still living in the house, he was on crack also.
Now me and my mom's relationship are fairly good. I still have so much resentment against her. *exhale*

*the comments that were said about my mother are not taken personally and she does deserve most of them*

So that’s my story, thanks for listening

God bless

Qwamayne aka Sherryel