how hard is it

i just talked to him
i was ready to give up
but we laugh

silly things
childhood sweetness
teenage content
adult fear

can i really do this
in my life
its so taboo
im content in my lonesome

at times, i wish for someone
but i have done so well on my own
i became a woman
an independent one at that
all by myself

but i cant be alone forever

he asked if we could kiss
i blushed
and said
what if youre sloppy
and he said
im a kissing professional

that made me laugh
and think, oh no
but the feeling i have
from just a conversation
warmth, joy
and a feeling like i feel ive never felt
but i know i have

years before
when it wasnt so hard
to fall for someone
before all the years of lessons
of life and love
when it was easy
because you had nothing but eachother to worry about

now, its hard
i find it so hard to give into a man
but maybe this one
i think ill try it
*smiles*