Awakened Monster

I have reached a breaking point, my shattered being can no longer hold on, the tape I used to hold together those broken clay pieces is getting old, and shaken by the violent trauma that brought back floods of suppressed anger and anguish  from inside that jar that is me. I hear it roar and blow, shaking my sides and lifting dust, like a dormant monster that is brutally awakened and reminded of the horrible moments that he went asleep with. I can see that jar shaking and shaking, I hear it, it fills my ears, my heart. It scares me to see how powerful that monster is, I forgot that such things, creatures of your experiences, can become so big when you look the other way, when you lock them up and wrap them in scented foil, to make them look and smell pretty. But after the huge fall that my jar will take, after all those tears that fell so uncontrollably and so loudly sometimes, I decided to face it. It is time, the monster will be faced, screamed at, whipped, beaten, thrown, and we will both fall to our knees, drowning in a pool of our own blood and tears. Then the sun will break, and I will wake up to a better day, with my monster killed and transformed into a distant memory. It is only then that I will bloom like the wild and untamed poppy flower that I am... But now, I will just wait until my chaos takes over, until that jar breaks and I face that monster that is the darker side of me. I can almost taste his rage in my mouth, he twinkles in my eyes sometimes, I can sense him in the way my hands twist and squeeze into a fist, I can sense him when my jaws lock and my expression changes into that dark entity. He is coming, it is coming. I take a deep breath, I am ready.