School Supply Shopping for Idiots

Hello idiots! Shopping for school supples is a delicate task. There are certain items that could be considered inappropriate for a high school student to own. The common ones are non-mechanical pencils, tie-dye pencil bags, and manila colored dividers. Although these objects may be inexpensive, they tell a lot about the person who bought them.

When you walk into an Office Max or a Staples, you always need to have a clear idea of what you're looking for. There will be plenty of time to impulse buy, but you first need to get the necessities, so you need to have around five hundred dollars on hand. Now, some people would say,"Five hundred dollars? That's a bit excessive." Pish Posh! There is no such thing as "excessive school supplies." Anyone who would even ponder such a thought should be hit upside the head with a Five Star Premier, College Ruled, Five Subject spiral notebook. That'll shape 'em up!

After you've completed your list, it is time jump in the car and head to the school supply store of your choice (I suggest Office Max). As you walk in, if you do not smell the fresh smell of school supplies, you've taken a wrong turn. Go back, before you get sucked in to the world of bargain school supplies. It's a nasty place!

As you walk down the isles, make sure you purchase the most attractive and expensive product. Attractiveness appeals to all of the people around and makes them jealous when they see you sporting your new Franklin Covey day planner. Expensiveness ensures that the product you are about to purchase is of good quality. Color is also a big issue. No one ever got anywhere without a little color coordinating. For instance, instead of just getting the regular army green colored hanging file folders for you "nerd box," get rainbow ones. It makes carrying a five-pound box worth every ounce.

It can be a dangerous job, shopping for school supplies. It's tedious and takes up most of the day. That is, if you are properly shopping. So, if you find that you are only at Office Max for four hours, you've shopped incorrectly and it is time to consult this School Supply Shopping For Idiots guide book.

Happy Shopping!