A poem of confusion and anguish. |
Where to go? What to do? Where is my path? Where is my purpose? Do I have some glittering talent or niche I can claim as my own? or am I doomed to be an aimless questioning wanderer... transversing through the grainy sands of time without direction, continuing to live just because I Am. Will I watch the hustle and bustle of the active and fulfilled from above? Always above...always separate and distant from others. no matter how hard I try no matter how hard I scream no matter how hard I pound on the glass, always there remains a faint but impermeable barrier Cutting me...away Thrusting me...away Severing me...away keeping me at arms length. I never can "click" into place, never can "fit" in with the others, never can "be" in the here and now. Doomed to live a lonely existence in a barren land bereft of sense, of warmth, of connection. an aimless wasteland for the lost soul a glass plane in which one is kept separate from all but views always a suffocating space with no air a delusional state where a half-hearted hope forever lingers in the mind, sickeningly torturous with the possibility of maybe... Maybe. maybe I'll wake up to a clearer day where everything makes sense a day where I'll know what my purpose is a day where I'll know my life is fulfilling and whole. Wholeness. Completeness. Assuredness. Security. Comfort. Love. Belonging. Until then I remain in a suspended state of existence, living...but not quite Until then I remain ridden with the possibilities of what could be Until then I remain...I remain...I remain. |