What Is Expected Of Me

"You play golf?
But you're much too young!
Why play golf,
When you're only 21?"

"I notice you're shaving,
But you're not using Gillette?
But surely that means,
That you're not perfect?"

"You're mobile phone,
Doesn't have television?
A phone without TV,
Should be out of the question!"

Is it just me,
Who got left behind,
With the technophobes and Luddites,
Who have never inclined
Towards the ever improving,
Ten-thousand inch TV,
And the ever more expensive,
New gadget from Sony?

Sure,
I can use the 'net,
Can play Grand Theft Auto,
And use CDs not cassettes.
But why should I be alienated,
If I don't have the latest brands,
And why should I suffer,
With all of today's demands?

I shave with a razor,
That isn't Gillette,
My mobile phone has no TV,
And I play golf every chance I get,
But that doesn't make me
In any way inferior,
All that makes me,
Is your straightforward neighbour.