some may take offense..written to a church official I once knew. |
Someone once told me that Hell is a place where we go when we die, if our sins aren't erased. I was warned about demons surrounding my bed, who would invade my dreams if my prayers were not said. I was taught to believe by the age of thirteen that I had to be saved, for my soul was unclean. I learned how the Devil could creep up behind me. I couldn't hide well enough, he'd always find me. I lived with this fear of death, knowing damned well that if I were to die, I was going to Hell. I would question my friends who would never have answers, my fear of eternal fire spreading like cancer. I thought about Heaven, and what it would be like to finally see God, to walk down golden streets. I read the whole Bible in less than a year, and I watched Jesus die without shedding a tear. Forced to participate in Bible studies each week; God forbid that I tell anybody how wrong it felt there, in that chair where I'd sit. I just wanted to tell them they're all full of shit. When you preach about Hell and eternal damnation, then wonder why kids lose themselves to sedation. You hand them the keys to their own isolation. How can you teach unity, with seperation. So please give me one good reason to believe my salvation depends on these lies that you preach, while you walk into church with that innocent smile, yet two hours ago you were beating your child. It must be conveniant to call yourself "christian" you're suddenly cured of your cocaine addiction. Walk out of the church to go fill your prescriptions, you're pounding the nails of your own crucifixion. Our children are learning to run from their fears, do you ever feel guilty while wiping their tears? I believe there's a truth we're all anxious to find, I believe we're in Hell while we're bound by our minds. I believe to see Heaven, you'll find it inside, and you'll find God by looking into a childs eyes. |