Can I call him Daddy?

The alarm clock turned to 6:00, and the voice of an energized DJ came through the tiny speakers. "Wake up, Chicago!"
Abby Lockhart groaned once she looked at the clock. She turned her head the other way, hoping to see him beside her. Abby sat up and sighed. "He's still gone," she said to herself. Her boyfriend, Dr. John Carter had pretty much made her apartment his too. He spent more nights with Abby than at his family's mansion. He left a month ago for Africa to find a co-worker who had believed to be dead. They were both to arrive home that day safely.
Abby felt the uneasiness in her stomach and quickly walked into the bathroom. As soon as she reached the toilet, she vomited. She had felt this way for a few days, and was sure it was only a bug. Too bad she couldn't call in sick. Cook County General Hospital was short on nurses, and needed Abby to be there. Not only did she have her job as a nurse, but she also had to worry about passing medical school.
She took the El to work, and made it through the automatic doors before she vomited again.
"Hey, you okay?" Susan walked up, putting a hand on Abby's shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Abby said looking up at her best friend. "I'm sure it's just a bug. I haven't felt like myself lately." Abby sighed. "I haven't felt like myself since Carter left, but especially the past few da-" Her body fell limp and Susan caught her in her arms.
"Abby, wake up! ABBY!" Susan laid her on the ground. "I need a gurney over here!"

When Abby woke, she found herself in an exam room. "Dr. Lewis, she's waking," Haleh said.
Susan sat on a stool next to the gurney. "Hey, Abs."
"What happened?" Abby asked confused.
"You scared us there for a minute. You passed out because you are extremely dehydrated. I ran some tests, but the results aren't back yet." There was a pause, and then Susan continued. "Are you late?"
"What are you talking about?" Abby asked with a confused look on her face.
"Vomiting, loss of appetite, late for work-"
"You don't think I'm..."
"It's a possibility, but let's just wait until all of the results come back.

A hour later, Susan arrived with the results. "Is it good news or bad news?" Abby asked when she saw her friend standing at her feet with a smile on her face.
"Depends on how you look at it," Susan replied. She pushed a stool next to Abby and sat down.
"Oh God, Susan, I can't raise a kid. I can barely watch out for myself. I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life. Now I have another life to screw up. Someone's life that will depend on me."
Susan put her hand on top of Abby's. "It will be fine. You'll be a great mom, and Carter will be a wonderful dad. You two won't fail at parenting."
A tear ran down Abby's cheek. "He doesn't love me anymore, Susan."
"What?" She asked, a little confused.
"Elizabeth came in to check on me a little bit ago. She had just been upstairs visiting Luka." Abby handed Susan a sheet of paper, which was folded. "It's over, Susan. Carter broke up with me."
Susan read the letter in its entirely and then looked back up. "Oh, Abby."
"He was the only guy I truly liked, and felt I could be myself with. I didn't have to hide anything. He didn't want me to. At one point, I thought he was serious about marrying me." Another tear escaped Abby's eye, and ran down her cheek.
Susan handed her a Kleenex. "He asked you to marry him?"
"Yeah, I didn't think he was serious at first. He asked me at what I thought was spur of the moment. Then one day I was cleaning, and found a diamond ring in his coat pocket. Of course, I never mentioned it, and he never brought it up." Abby paused. "But I would have said yes."


Abby sat down at the kitchen table, remembering the day that changed her life five years ago. She closed her eyes, and took a sip of her coffee. It was hard for her to believe she had something good in her life, as well as the bad.
She left Chicago and moved to Tampa Bay a few days after Susan told her the news. She left hoping to get away from all the memories of him. She didn't know whom she was kidding. Everyday she was reminded of him. Ever since the day she gave birth to his daughter.
For some reason, she had the urge to go back. Abby wanted to go back for the sake of their daughter, more than anything. She deserved to know her father, and he needed to know he was one. Many times her daughter asked her why her daddy didn't live with them, or why he wasn't around.
She heard a pair of bare feet run down the hall of the new Chicago apartment.
"All ready, Mommy," her daughter shouted when she entered the room. She was dressed in a purple skirt, red shirt, and a baby blue sweater. One sight of her attire, and Abby laughed.

Abby took a hold of her daughter's hand as they crossed the busy streets of Chicago. The two stopped in the middle of the Ambulance Bay right outside the hospital. "This is where mommy works now," Abby said. Abby read the sign of the hospital and took a deep breath.
"It's big, Mommy."
"Yes it is. Are you ready?"
Katie could somehow see the fear in her mother's eyes. "Are you ready, mommy?"
Abby nodded and sighed.
They walked through the automatic doors and to the admit desk. Katie griped onto Abby's hand when she heard a drunken man yelling and ranting on. "It's ok, sweetie." A blonde-haired woman behind the desk turned around.
"Aunt Susan!" Katie shouted in delight. She let go of Abby's hand and ran around the desk to hug her mother's friend.
Susan was the only one Abby kept in touch with after moving years ago. They had written, talked on the phone, and Susan even visited them for a week or so. She was the only true friend Abby had, and the only person who felt like a relative.
"You've gotten so big!" Susan picked Katie up and hugged her tight. "I'm so glad your mommy decided to move back," Susan said looking directly at Abby. "I missed you guys so much." The two friends smiled at each other. "Welcome back, Ab."
"Thanks."
"Well, Katie, I have to go check on a couple of patients. I'll talk to you a little later." She set the little girl down and pulled out a dum-dum sucker out of the pocket of her lab coat. Katie took it without hesitation. "Thank you, Aunt Susan."
Susan picked up a chart. "You've been missed, Abby." She smiled and walked away.
A few moments later, Kerry Weaver came around the corner. "Abby, first day back, and you're late."
"Sorry," Abby said. "We ran into a friend."
"Well, now that I found you, you need to start work tomorrow. Don't be late. You know where the lounge is." Kerry started to hobble down the hall, and then turned around. "Incase you've forgotten, daycare's upstairs."
When Kerry was out of sight, Katie said, "That lady's a witch, Mommy." Abby started to laugh but tried not to make it visible. Her daughter was so smart and so true.
Luckily for Abby, she didn't see Carter that day. For one, she wanted to be able to talk to him without their daughter present. For another, she wasn't prepared to see him. After all the years, she didn't know what to say to him. She both loved and hated him.

The next day when she walked into the lounge, Abby froze. There he was, standing at his locker, wrapping his stethoscope around his neck. He was as tall and handsome as she had remembered.
Abby looked at him for a moment, and then proceeded to her own locker, hoping not to make eye contact with him. She started putting pictures and magnets in her locker, when she heard him speak. "Abby, is that you?" He asked. She looked up at him. "It is you. There was a rumor going around last night. I wasn't sure if I could believe it or not. Guess it was true, huh? How are you? Where did you go? Why did you go?"
"What is this, '20 questions with Abby Lockhart'?" She asked in a stern voice.
"What are you so upset about?"
"About what you did to me."
"That was five years ago. What do I have to do with it? You're the one that left." "We both left...remember Africa?"
"Yes, I wanted to help the less unfortunate. If I went to Africa...where did you go?"
"I'm not in the mood to talk about it, and I need to get to work." She looked down at the floor and walked out of the lounge.
Abby walked over to the desk and put her hands over her face.
"Bad day already?" Luka Kovac asked looking up from a chart she was scribbling on.
"Unfortunately," Abby mumbled in reply.
"Girl's night out tonight. Deb, Sam, Neela, and I are going out ." Susan said, over hearing.
"They still work here?" Abby asked, a little surprised, knowing what their lives had been like before she left.
"Yep. What do you say?"
"I probably shouldn't. I have to go get Katie upstairs at six. Plus, I don't know anyone who would watch her."
"I'd be happy to watch her," Luka offered. "I miss having kids around." Abby knew that he did. He had lost his wife and two kids before moving from Croatia ten or fifteen years ago.
"And I know Chuck wouldn't mind. He has to stay home with the kids anyway," Susan said with an evil-like smile.
Abby laughed. "Thanks guys, but I really need to be home with her. Can I take a rain check?" They both nodded.
"Luka, the old lady in curtain three is crashing!" Haleh shouted. Luka cursed something under his breath and walked away.
"I saw a picture in his locker," Abby said once Luka had disappeared and the two friends were alone.
Susan looked up after a moment and sighed. "When Carter came back from the Congo, he brought back his pregnant girlfriend, Kem. They planned on getting married. Carter had even considered selling the estate, and moving into a small apartment with Kem and of course, their baby..."

Abby had many encounters with Carter throughout the shift, but the two kept their distance. What she really wanted to do was to hit him, but she thought that would cost her job. At the end of the shift, both Abby and Carter were at their lockers, gathering their things before heading their own separate ways home. The two stood there without speaking before Carter broke the silence. "Look, Abby, if we are going to work with each other again, we have to be on speaking terms."
Abby looked at him and nodded.
"Good. Now that we finally agree on something, you want to go get some coffee?"
"Sure. I think there are some things that were left unsaid." Abby put her long black coat on. "I almost forgot how cold it can get here."

They arrived at the restaurant, and seated themselves at a booth in the front corner.
"I'll be right with you," the waitress said from a distance.
"No problem," Carter said, raising his hand. "Just two cups of coffee when you get a chance."
He settled in the booth and turned to Abby. "How's your mom?"
She shrugged. "I haven't heard from Maggie in awhile. I'm just hoping I don't see her on the news, or hear about her in the paper."
"And your bother?"
She sighed. "As far as I know, he's living with Maggie. Which I guess is a good thing because they know how each other feels. But they both need structure, and if one of them gets off the meds, neither of them will have that." Carter nodded, understanding.
The coffee arrived and they both took a sip. Carter looked down at the table, then back up. "Why did you leave, Abby?"
"I had to get away."
"From what? You had a great job, some friends, and you were back in medical school. I thought that's what you wanted."
"It was. It is," She took another sip of the fresh brewed coffee.
"So...why'd you leave?"
She looked down at her watch. It was nine o'clock. She started to put on her coat, and grabbed her purse. "I have to go," she said as she stood up and walked out the door.
Carter followed her. "Abby, where are you going?" She didn't reply, or even turn around. "Damn it, Abby!" He yelled seizing her arm. "Stop running! Guess you were right when you told me people don't change... at least for you anyway. You haven't changed a bit!"
She turned around, tears welling up in her eyes. "You want to know why I'm leaving, Carter?" She didn't give him time to answer. "Because I have to put your daughter in bed!"
"My-"
"Yes, John, your daughter." He let go of his grip and Abby walked home as tears streamed down her face.

Later that night, as she was turning off the lights before going to bed, Abby heard a knock on the door. She walked to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Carter. She stepped back, debating on whether or not to open the door. She finally opened the door ajar, and stuck her head out. "How'd you find me?"
"Susan."
"Of course"
"Can I see her?" He asked.
"She's asleep now."
"I know, but can I just look at her?"
Abby looked down at the ground, wondering what to say or do.
"Please? I've already lost a son," Carter asked with pleading eyes.
She opened the door more and nodded. "Just don't wake her."

"She's beautiful," Carter whispered as him and Abby stood in the middle of their daughter's room.
"She looks like you." Abby turned and headed for the door. "Would you like some coffee?"
"Sure," Carter took one last look at the sleeping five-year-old, and followed Abby to the kitchen. Abby poured two cups of coffee and they both sat at the table.
"She asks about you, Carter. She asks me why her daddy doesn't live with us."
"What do you tell her?" He asked, taking a sip of coffee.
"That her daddy didn't love me anymore."
"I'm sorry, Abby."
"Yeah, well, there's nothing you can do about it now, is there? The damage is done."
Carter stared down at his watch. "Guess I should get going. I have a shift at seven."
Abby walked him to the door and opened it. He stood in the middle of the doorway and turned around. "I want you to know, that if I knew, I would have come home. We could have worked things out." He took a step closer until their faces were only inches away. He ran a hand through her hair, and Abby looked down. She swallowed hard. "You should go."

Abby woke with a start. The room was still dark, but a little light came from the outside window. She focused her eyes outside and groaned. It was snowing. That was one thing Abby didn't miss from the Windy City. She stood and burst through the door of the room. "How long was I out?" She asked in a groggy voice as she approached the admit desk.
"A few hours," Luka answered with a chart in hand.
"Where's Katie?" She asked, panicking.
"Carter took her outside a few minutes ago to play in the snow. We've gotten half a foot in the last couple of hours," Jerry said pointing to the automatic doors.
Abby walked outside and took a couple steps before she heard, "Should we hit her with one?"
"Then she'll be mean!"
"I can take her."
Just as Abby turned to the direction of the voices, she was hit in the arm by a snowball. Her mouth opened wide. She crossed her arms. "John Truman Carter."
"Who's that?" Katie asked, looking up at the tall doctor.
He laughed. "Me." He made eye contact with Abby, and walked her way. The little girl took a hold of his hand and followed.
"Mommy?" She asked. "Could Dr. Carter come over for dinner?"
"I don't know, sweetie," Abby cleared a piece of hair from her daughter's face. I'm sure Dr. Carter has something important to do."
"Actually," he said. "I have nothing to do. I was thinking about going home to eat the leftovers. The cook has the night off, so I have to fend for myself."
"So, can he, mommy?"
Abby looked up at Carter. "We're having spaghetti if you would like to join us." She wasn't sure if she wanted him to come over this soon, but she thought she would let him for the sake of their daughter.
"Abigail Lockhart cooks now! That's a new thing. Or are you planning on ordering take-out?" Carter winked and Abby smiled.
"Very funny, Carter. Very funny."

Later that night, the three of them sat at the kitchen table in Abby's two bedroom apartment. Abby thought about how it would be if she had never left. Would the three of them be a family? Would Carter and Abby actually be husband and wife? The thought of that made her smile.
"Mommy, Carter said I could go over to his house any time you wanted time alone."
"Oh, did he?" Abby asked as she raised a brow.
"I just thought you would like a break from time to time," he said with pleading eyes.
Abby cleared her throat and looked at the clock on the oven. "Time for bed, Katie."
"Five more minutes, mommy. Please?"
"Sorry, but school starts tomorrow. You wouldn't want to be tired on your first day."
"I thought I heard mention about a big kindergartener..." Carter said, keeping his eyes on Abby.
"Yep. That's me!" Katie smiled and looked at Carter with her big brown eyes. If there was one thing that made his heart melt, it was that little girl he never knew existed. He saw a little bit off Abby in her, which tugged at his heart even more. Their playfulness and smile blew Carter away. He blamed himself letting Abby go.
The little girl hopped off her chair and ran over to give Carter a hug. "Can you come over again tomorrow night? We can have Spaghetti!"
Carter laughed. "I have to work tomorrow night, but maybe I can come over soon." He kissed the top of her brown-haired head. "Have fun at school tomorrow."
Abby got up from her seat. "I'll be right back."
"Take your time," Carter said, smiling as Abby took the little girl to her room.

"Mommy, could I call Dr. Carter daddy?" Katie asked once she was settled in her twin bed with pink linens. The question caught Abby a little off guard, and didn't know how to answer right away. She knew Carter would be more than thrilled if he knew what Katie asked. The question was: would she?
She saw how the two interacted in the snow, and at dinner. She saw how excited their daughter was when he surprised her with a pink jewelry box. She was happy to see that the two got along. She thought that maybe it was too early for Katie to have feelings for a man that she hardly knew. Abby swallowed hard, and said she would think about it.
When Abby walked out of her daughter's room and into the living room/kitchen she noticed the dishes had been washed and put away. She walked a little farther and found Carter on the couch, watching the Bulls and Pistons game. He flipped the television once he saw Abby appear. She sat down next to him. "Oh, you can watch it."
"That's okay, the Pistons are pulling away anyways."
"You didn't have to do the dishes."
"You didn't have to have me over for dinner." After a moment of silence, he said, "but you did, and I enjoyed it. The least I could do was the dishes."
"I would have been out sooner, but she wanted two stories."
"Ah, stalling time." Carter smiled. "I remember trying that with my parents. Didn't work very often."
After an awkward silence, they both turned to face each other.
"Look, Abby-"
"Carter, I-," they both said in unison. They looked at each other seriously, as there was a pause.
Carter started, "You have no reason to apologize. You have every right to hate me for the rest of your life. I hurt you, Abby, and I know that. I not only left you, I left you carrying my baby." Abby tried to stop him, but he wouldn't hear of it. "Let me explain, please." She nodded as he continued.
"I broke up with you the wrong way. I should have told you in person, or on the phone, but never in a letter. I guess I thought that was the easy way off. I needed to get away from the estate, from my divorced parents, from Chicago, from County, and from you.
"Gamma had just died, and you had your hands full with your brother. That's when I needed you the most."
"Carter," she began.
He pressed his index finger on her lips. "I'm not done. Let me finish." He cleared his throat, and once again, continued. "I left thinking I could get away from having to see you day in and day out. I thought maybe I could erase the memories we had from my mind. That I could find someone I could spend my life with.
"I thought I found that with Kem. I thought she was serious about marrying me, and I thought I was too. She got pregnant, and I convinced her to come back with me. I wanted the baby to be born in America, and I wanted more than anything for the three of us to be a family. But when she delivered the baby stillborn, she left, saying it was her fault, and she didn't want to disappoint me again."
"Carter, I'm..."
"Sorry," he finished for her. "It's okay. It's been five years. I'm over Kem, but of course I miss our baby. I wish I had the chance to be a father." Just as he finished that sentence, he realized what he had said, and turned his head.
"You do," Abby said as tears started to develop in her eyes. She placed a hand on his shoulder.
Carter turned back around.
"Katie needs a father...her real father. She loves you, Carter. I dated a few guys since being away, but none of them compare to you. Once they found out about Katie, they never wanted to see me again. I've seen how you two are together. It's amazing, and I regret everyday for leaving and not telling you about her.
"I wasn't going to tell you, now anyway, but she asked me if she could call you ‘daddy'."
"She did?" He looked surprised. He rearranged himself on the couch. "What did you tell her?"
"I said it was fine by me."
Abby turned and looked at Carter straight in the eyes, and Carter pulled her in for a kiss.
After the two pulled apart, Abby cleared her throat and whispered. "What do you say we start over?"
"I'd like that," Carter replied staring at the woman he loved more than anything his entire life.
"One question, what's Katie's last name?"
"Lockhart."
Carter winced. "I don't think I like the idea of my daughter having the last name
of your ex husband."
"Say we do something about it, Dr. Carter?" Abby said with a smirk.
"Yes, I do, now that I have a say in it."
Abby laughed. "We'll start the process Monday, and our daughter will become Katherine Lynn Carter".
"I like that name so much better," Carter said as he and Abby kissed once more.