Bury me with a smile

Bury Me with a Smile.

Make sure that when you bury me,
You give me a smile
Because if you truly knew me
You know the joy at the end of this organic trial
Because this is my final note, I know now there is no antidote.
And I'd rather stay underground then have to crawl around
Because my legs have gone and my heart has too
They've given up and were dragged to my tomb
And when I awoke I spoke with a silver tongue
A use of language unknown to some
But they too fade away and found themselves a sunny day

So I whisper in the dark for someone to come find me
I can't help but think about the past and the old me
Rosy cheeks submerged in river creeks passed the time in endless weeks
Rain or shine I was fine, I had no darkness to plague my mind
I ran and screamed and lived the dream, unaware of the cancer gene
Oh it multiplied and spread its lies, to my soul, heart, and head
I slowly got wrapped up in a black spool of thread
Or perhaps twine is more reasonable, although slightly less feasible
I still looked at myself saying "it's truly unbelievable"
To have parents, and house, and a substantial cash amount
But feel sad and glum and connected to none.

And I thought about how
I'd take a bullet to the head, before a bullet to the leg
Because life is not worth it if you are forced to be a cripple
And my mind already is since the birth of this demon seed ripple
It was not planted by the Emo creed or some form of greed
Nor was it planted by the loss of a girl, but rather the world
To leave me as an orphan, alone without endorphins
The best course of action on life is clearly to shorten
The trouble and pain with a hint of insane
Clearly arose as my endless bane.

So slowly silver seas silently suffocate me
Blood Bubbled
Blood Blackened
Tensions mounted and I began the stacking
Of a list titled sorrow, number one being tomorrow
And just below, I kept my notes, on this quest I had to borrow
For it was not mine, and was not given, it ruined time and my reason for living
So silver sickles invade my blood
As my skin secretes this lifeless mud
And it cakes over my body and leaves my hair knotty
And when I look in the mirror I know what I see,
The broken bones, body, and soul that used to be me

And the words at first they were the worst,
Until the day I saw his hearse.
And from that point on I wept and whined
I would miss the sun as I crawled on by, unbeknownst to all, that I was blind.
So I lost the path and wandered away, ever so slowly I began to decay
No food satisfied the hunger of my heart's mighty thunder
As I felt the chaotic rhythm in response to my blunder

And now I rest here in a forest of forgotten,
And I feel the glass in my feet as I hit creek bottom
We were here before, these muddy shores
But I fail to see above the creek
And though the waters shallow and the current weak
I know eventually it will choose to rape me
And the brittle banks will break on fingertips,
As Persephone's chalice offers the endless sip
Of wasteland water that will kiss my lips,
Filled with stinking sewers to tired tributaries,
Filth flows forever on its path into me.

So I walk alone, quite unknown, and think of me as a box of bones
But days went by and I survived, I stood my test of time.
Soon life had light with hope in sight, but along the way I lost the fight
I tripped or stumbled and began to mumble, but words no longer formed
I spent my days confined by rain, in the darkness of my dorm
And I sit in here and twist my beard
As I attempt to match the eye of the storm tear for tear

So I'll wear my sunglasses to hide my weathered behavior
And look northwest for some sort of spiritual savior,
But I'll tell you now, as time slows down,
You'll feel me in the moment
And just like that, too fast to act
I'll be tree bound with my neck attached
And a skin crawling sensation coupled with a cold tickle down your spine
Will tell you that my eyes were open when I chose my time to die
But this did not change the fact that I was blind.
So I failed to see a thing, as I sailor slipped and sliced my chin
For sightless was I and filled with pain, I saw no where to place the blame
So here I'll sway until mid-day and upon discovery be thrown away

I will be organic waste in tailored lace, on show for all to have a taste
Of the silver seas that once lapped within me, that now settle slowly
And leak from me and slithers across the floor
To ravish your riches and steal the smile from your face
This sickness is sly and leaves a victim in a terrible place.