Just Another Night When My Tears Fell

Just Another Night When My Tears Fell
2008.04.27 @ 1:29am

Whenever I would see your photos...
Whenever I would glance at Our photos...
My eyes get blurry.
In silence I weep.
In darkness I cry.

Questions popping inside my head.
I ask myself "why?"

For you...
Why do I still shed tears?
Why do I still feel something?
Why do I still long and wait?
Why of all guys...
It's you that I have loved so much.

Was I so wrong to let you know?
Was I so foolish to feel this way?

It took me a lot of courage.
I swallowed my pride.
I just believed what I felt.
I just followed my heart.
I just wanted to be true and sincere.

Yet when I told you the truth that I still love you.
You just rejected me.
And when there were times I made you feel special.
You just started pushing me away.

I was confused.
I don't know what to do.

How can I stop myself from loving you?
That whenever I try to erase you inside my head.
That whenever I try to replace you inside my heart.
People and things around me,
Just seem to remind me of your existence.

I feel the pain of my heart but I can't do anything.
I have done almost everything for you to love me back again.
I still failed; hearing the same response.
I still get rejected for the "nth" time.

Immune from the coldness which you make me feel.
Numb from the pity which you feel for me.
Even you may not directly speak-up your point.
I am not insensitive not to feel your...

Pity. Anger. Annoyance. Hatred.
Disappointment. Regret. Guilt...

"I love you" is what I want to say.
Yet I know it will fall on deaf ears.
I know you would rather...
Pretend not to hear. Deny not to know.
Just to escape the drama.

Alone I sit on my bed,
I write this poem.
I think of you again...

Your photos...
Our photos...
My eyes get blurry.
In silence I weep.
In darkness I cry.

I am used of this.
Just another night when my tears fell.