Steven Linderleaf 1959-2008

To Steve.

My friend, mentor, and big brother Steve Linderleaf died on Tuesday. The funeral was Saturday. Here are some things I would like to share:


To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3.

For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.
Psalm 23


I have known Steve for many years, since he got stationed up here in Minot. We were not always best buddies, and I am not trying to claim him as a close, close friend, but through the years we built up a good personal respect.

He was a phenomenal airplane engine mechanic when I first met him. We worked in the same Squadron as mechanics, but in separate shops. I was a general mechanic, more just a tire kicker, while he was a specialist in jet engines. Whenever we had a write-up, you could bet he would be there, maybe a little grouchy and demanding, but working alongside his guys, teaching the young ones, and making sure the job was done right.

We went a few places around the world together, and have a few stories to tell, but most of my 'stories' become little more than musings, when I think of Steve. I remember many tales that started out, "Remember that time when Linderleaf..." Any tale with Steve Linderleaf in it was sure to be non "PG" but full of action. However, his tales beat all, and usually after cross-checking were the truth. The man had, according to the old saying, "been there," and indeed, "done that." He bore the scars from many things, but left behind a piece of himself in everyone he touched.

When I wanted to follow Steve's lead and become an aircraft instructor, teaching newer Airmen some of the things I had learned, Steve gave me my interview, and told me I wouldn't like working for his boss. I didn't ask why. Steve just knew. Maybe we were cut from some of the same cloth. He was right. I didn't like it. It was the only piece of advice from a great friend that I didn't listen to.

Instructing wasn't all bad, but very few parts of the classroom, and my primary job stick in my head. I remember most, and reflect upon mornings drinking coffee, listening to music, and either discussing the coming day, the past, or what kind of tricks and stunts the boss had been up to, trying to put Steve in his place.

TSgt Steve Linderleaf was an 'old school,' crusty mechanic. Sure he cleaned up nice, and stood at the podium, and wrote crisp lesson plans, and covered all the bases, but inside was the passionate, hard working greasy handed man that was his core.

The boss was jealous that Steve could do just about anything and knew more by mistake than most mechanics learn in their life. It created strife, and though Steve tried hard to play by the rules, he rebelled a bit. Steve also looked out for the rest of the instructors, and that impresses me to this day. He would be having a horrible day, but if he thought others needed a hand, or someone to look out for him, he would fight the fight.

Steve moved on from instructing, and went to lead the Inspection Section, where he was again getting dirty, and leading the way, fixing aircraft engines. When retirement approached, Steve decided 20 years was enough, and the Air Force could survive without him. I did not make his retirement ceremony, because sometimes work and life do not happen the way we want. I think the Air Force retired a great man, but change is the constant in our lives.

I must confess, I lost contact with Steve for awhile, or to clarify, did not see him. Pamela, his wife sent me emails and kept me updated with family happenings. I would return in kind. My daughter is doing well. I am engaged again. I wrote a book...I am married...life is well, etc...etc...

One day I brought an older Jeep, and had to drive the 35 miles to Donnybrook, Steve's adopted town to get the title signed from the previous owner. The next day I happened to be in the Minot AFB Gas Station to get tires for my car. The head mechanic was Steve. So much for a retirement spent sitting idle. He said, come on back into the bay..past the "Employees Only" sign. While he tinkered and tuned and poked and prodded on a car, we caught up on old times, and made plans, which I regret not fulfilling. Plans of visiting and fishing and hanging out.

I saw Steve a few more times at the gas station, but never really got around to visiting, or making fishing plans.

One day I stopped at the gas station and another guy I knew was at the cash register ringing up a customer. I said, "Bob, I didn't know you worked here." He said, "yeah, I took over for Linderleaf." hmmmm...shrugs...

I sent out my Thanksgiving greetings last year, to share with family, friends, and loved ones. My blessings had been bountiful, and I wanted to share with all what was going on in my life.

Pamela sent me back an email telling me that Steve had a brain tumor, but it was going to be operated on. I figured Steve would attack cancer and treatment in the same way he had tackled so many other things in life; head down and swinging. No man or beast truly intimidated him, and he had won many a fight in his time. Sure he would put up with doctors and instructions, because he could 'shut up and color' when needed, and when it was on his own terms.

Christmas came and went, with greetings shared, and well wishes for the coming year, and I did not go visit my friend, though it was in my mind to. In early January, I received a flier for a benefit pancake breakfast for "Steven Linderleaf, former 5 MXS Mustang." The flier was distributed. "If anyone knows this guy, it is in Donnybrook."

My daughter Emily and I drove out to the breakfast, and spoke to Steve's daughter Andrea. "Dad's doing better, he has his moments. He is at home if you want to go visit."

With trepidation we knocked on Steve's door, and were led into the living room by Pamela. Steve was awake and alert, but not really the old Steve. Because of brain cancer, part of him just was missing. We did talk of old times and shared a few laughs and tears. I was sorely ashamed for not going to visit him on the many times I had promised to, but I was glad to have a chance to see my friend one last time.

I emailed Steve's daughter Angela when I returned to work the following Monday, and every once in awhile, just to chat about life and the Air Force, and she has become a pretty good friend. Unfortunately I had to meet her under adverse conditions.

Brain cancer and operations were followed by chemo-therapy. I wish I could finish this narration up with something good and positive, but unfortunately the fix also ravaged Steve's body, and he passed away in his sleep on Tuesday 8 April 2008, at the age of 49 years.

This Saturday, my wife and I made the trip to Donnybrook for the funeral. The music and memories were a fitting tribute to a great man. At the graveside, the ceremony was fast. A few words, a folded flag, and a volley of rifle shots echoing on the empty North Dakota prairie.

I shall miss you my friend. Go with God.


20 March 2009:

Just remember, life is never over if family, friends and loved ones carry memories of the departed:

Lou,
Last night I was talking to my brother about googling names and told him that if you googled the name Steven Linderleaf you could find lots of things, what between dad and son. I did this while on the phone and came across the site your writing. I didn't scroll down too far as I was still talking but mentioned it to Andrea today. She found your tribute to her dad and called me.

Thank you so much for such a fitting tribute to Steve. Everything you said is so true of him. He cared so much about the men and women in uniform and if he could help one of the young ones from making a wrong step he did so. All were as much a part of his life as his family and in being so became his extended family. I hope that those he helped (or tried to) realize how much he cared for them and their career. He would come home and tell us about his day and it was always evident just how much respect he had for his Air Force family. Thank you so much Lou.

I still manage the Gas Depot here in Donnybrook. I really enjoy my job and since that can be half the battle I am happy to say I am working there. I don't know if you know just how blessed I was to have the boss I have. When my son-in-law Tony died I took time off from work and had only just returned when Steve became diagnosed. When Steve was flown to St. Paul for surgery, I just left. I didn't call my boss or even talk to him for the 3 1/2 weeks we were gone. Upon my return to work the boss said I did the right thing and to take whatever time off I needed. I went from full time to part time to no time. I was gone for another 3 1/2 weeks after Steve died. I feel very fortunate to have a boss who not only understood but encouraged me to feel no guilt in doing whatever I felt was necessary. It was a blessing I will never forget.

Andrea and little Anthony are doing fine. He is almost 3 and is keeping her on her toes. She certainly didn't anticipate raising him without a dad and grandpa but she is doing a good job. She hasn't been able to "move on" as much as I would like (I don't mean that to sound insensitive) but every has their own time table and with little fellar reminding her more and more everyday of Tony it will take her longer. You know I strongly believe everything happens for a reason and I may be wrong but I think God knew that Andrea needed to be distracted after her husband died. Having to help take care of her father created a sort of respite for her. She was too busy at a time when she may have fallen apart. God was holding her up.

In case you didn't know Angela is in Iraq. She watches people clean for 12 hours a day and is bored silly. She will be there until mid May. I don't talk to her often but treasure each time I do. The week of New Years Steven Jr. and I went to Vegas to see her and Alex before she shipped out. We wound up helping them move into their new home. We didn't really do much "vacation" stuff but I told Angela I came to see her not Vegas. I was not going to let her go to Iraq without being able to see her, hold her, and just plain take her in.

Steven is busy working for CTI (there in Minot). He is still trying to deal with losing his brother and dad. He doesn't talk to me about it but he does with Andrea. I believe he will when he is older but at 19 his sister is who he feels most comfortable talking to and that is ok. I am willing to wait for my turn and know that will come.

So life goes on and sometimes something comes along to remind us of what is no longer in our lives. What a blessing. You know you don't realize how warm 30 degrees in the winter is until you have a -10 degree day.

I hope everything is going splendidly for you and your family. Thank you for your kindness, Lou.

Pam


The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.
Psalm 23


For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16