Insecurities

Insecurities lie deep within
A scared place that is unknown to one's eye,
but appears in the veins leading to the mind, body, and soul.
It's found deep in the traces of pain, it creeps in and makes
a home to all that you've said are no more.
It places loyalty, trust, and love on distant shores that your heart
can't even imagine trying to explore.

What does it mean when I keep hiding the true me deep down inside?
Always figthing to keep this pride while striving to do my best to walk with an unstoppable stride?
Can they see how this isn't the real me?
Would others be able to see that's me perpetrating a mean swag?
What happens when I look into the mirror
And see someone whose told themselves that they don't like what they see Because like I, they don't fit inside of that box of what he/she categorizes as fine
A nice ass, small waist, or a sweet lil piece
Just a little something of  that which he craves,
Could it be all so different to the degree of which makes me ME!
Or maybe it's too much for him to consider the beauty of what's really hidden on the inside, that there might some surprising revelations that ignite him.
Is it the smoothness of his tone that keeps me from feeling so all alone?
I don't know what he could have ever did to me
to make me feel this way.
Could it be that I am constantly depending on that special someone to clarify my worth? Because clearly I cannot see that my selfworth is not tied up in their acceptance OF ME...

Is it the tears that fall from my eyes when there's no one left around to see that which makes me so cold in my soul?
Maybe sporting a fake smile, who returns to the special place of hibernation...
After making a quick appearance for the world to see
Back to the defiant stare which returns to take its rightful place upon the throne of what is called my face. Yet it is me that fights the world, because of its vainty.
Can having a broken spirit such as this keep me in a continuous pattern of knots & twists? I never desired to feel this way, yet it continues to hold captive the treasure which is known as joy inside a vessel filled with extreme sorrow.

Is it divinity that allows me to continue even when I feel like falling?
Dreams of despair, but I keep on returning.
Could it be that look in Doo's eyes that makes everything worthwhile?
Is it the naughty looks from the crowd that makes everything seem so small?
Is this what the world's come to?
Could it really be so awful to be wrong?
Could it be called desperation that gives me
the desire to have someone to call my own?
But isn't love all about taking chances?
Then how could trusting allow me to feel better, if I know that I'll regret it in the end?
Will the lies ever be lifted from the brand that's been placed on my heart?
Deception, Rejection,Lack of Affection, and Attention are all thoughts that led to my dissatisfaction.


Do insecurities even exist or is this just one of my fits?

Don't let me be misunderstood, as my intentions are always meant to be good.