When Last We Saw Our Hero...

Page 1 - Splash page with only one panel.  Panel features a silhouette in front of a full moon of a costumed hero sitting atop a statue in a park, looking at his hands. 

         Caption box on top of the page:  There is no instruction manual for this.  There is no college major.  No hotline.

         Caption box on bottom of the page:  You are completely on your own


         
Page 2 -  Consists of 4 panels

         Panel one - Consists of a pile of spread-out comic books with recognizable titles.
         
                   Caption box: Sure, there's the stories we all grew up with.  You try to use those as a "How-To."  And they taught some pretty significant lessons...

         Panel Two - Features a spider web
         
                   Caption Box: "Some taught us about the responsibility that comes with power"

         Panel three - A chuck of green crystal sitting on top of a yellow familiar diamond shape. 
Caption Box: "Others taught us that no matter how invulnerable we might seem, we all have weaknesses to be exploited."

         Panel four - A silhouette of the Dark Knight.
                   Caption Box "And some taught us that our inner demons and our gifts are more closely related then we may realize."

Page 3 - Consists of three panels, one at the top of the page that is as wide as the page, the other two split the remaining space at the bottom

         Panel One - Long box running the width of the top third of the page.    Panel shows 7 or 8 really ugly, cheesy costumes

                   Caption Box 1 at top of page  "But that's all pretty general.  It doesn't exactly work as a ‘How To.'"

                   Caption Box 2 at the bottom of page "Would be nice if there was a ‘How to design a costume and not look like a complete flamer' book out there."

         
         Panel Two - hero shown with cape snagged on a flagpole or similar hazard, being yanked back like a dog outrunning his leash.

Caption Box: "There is no warning label that tells you of the dangers of adding a cape to your superhero costume, especially when you can fly a couple hundred miles per hour"

Panel Three - Split into three panels, the first showing our hero carrying a professional looking woman as he is landing, the second showing her facing towards the reader as we look over our hero's shoulder as she starts to say "Oh, Thank you so much, whatever I could do to repay you, I'd..."  then stopping talking, and the third shows he glancing down and blushing with a look of shock on her face.
         
                Caption Box on first part of three part panel - "Another detail about costumes that would have been a good tip..."

         Caption Box on last part of three part panel - "Spandex doesn't hide much."

Page 4 -  Four Panels

                   Panel 1-
Caption box - "Could have used some help with my first several tries at witty catch phrases and quips..."

                   Panel shows our hero in several action poses, each with a speech bubble saying stupid shit like "Time for Justice!" "And....ACTION!"  "It's Clobberin' time"(okay not really that one) "Streak AWAY!" "Gold always keeps its value" and other horrible crap. 


         Panel 2- Shows The Hammer and our hero engaged in battle, the Hammer's hammer fist drawn back, ready to punch.


         Caption Box - "Nothing prepared me to deal with the humiliation of being punched in the stomach so hard by a guy that calls himself the Sledge because he has superhuman strength and has a sledge-hammer head attached to his fist - Yeah, real creative guy - hard enough that..."

Panel 3- Shows the blow to the gut being delivered and our hero's pants being filled, ass pointed towards the reader.

Caption Box  "... well, hard enough to make me shit my pants."

Panel 4 - No words, just him standing in shame, head held low, poopy pants sagging and dripping, as the villain and onlookers laugh and react negatively.


Page 5 -  5 panels, two on top, one long one in middle, and two on bottom

Panel 1 - I can't think of a picture for this caption...

Caption Box - So without any instructions as to how to handle this situation, what did I do?  I did the most logical thing and killed my alter ego. 

Panel 2 - I don't know what picture goes here either...

Caption Box- Come on, what would you have done?  I could only take so many public mockings and word spread pretty fast.  It seemed like mere minutes in between my messing myself and my name unofficially changing to "Load Stinks."  Brown Streak was a popular second choice.

Long Panel 3 -  Depicting a combination of the following described actions, including a shot appearing to mimic the spider-man double head smash.

Caption Box : The absolute cincher was the day I rescued the mayor from a little wannabe terrorist faction trying to assassinate him.  I was at my best.  Bullets were dodged, grenades were redirected, and I even got to do that super cool double head smash thing just like I used to read about you-know-who doing. 

Panel 4- Scene with our hero standing victoriously over the thugs as they are carted off

Caption Box -All-in-all, I disarmed 9 guys and left every one of them for the police to haul off.  No one got away, everyone was safe...

Panel 5 - Our hero and the Mayor standing face-to-face

Caption Box - All that just for the mayor to look me in the eye, snicker, and say...

MAYOR - "Aren't you the guy that shit his spandex?"

PAGE 6 - 3 panels, two on top, one large one about 2/3 of page on bottom.

Panel 1 - Onlookers and mayor laugh at our hero as his thought bubble features a Skull and Crossbones.

Caption Box - That's when I knew Gold Streak was about to die.



Panel 2- Shows the two heroes, out of costume, at a kitchen table beer bottles everywhere but not as many as in the next panel, trading written notes

         Top Caption Box - So how sad is this...
         Bottom Caption Box - Me and my friend, my powered friend, Apollo made up a villain called "The Vagabond" as part of the plot to kill the Gold Streak.  He was going to
Play the role of this villain, all just to fake kill me in a very public setting. 
         
Panel  3- Shows the two guys out of costume sitting in across from each other at a kitchen table, beer bottles are scattered everywhere.  Our hero holds up a sketch pad of what the Vagabond would look like.

caption box at top - I am going to blame alcohol for the lameness of this plan. 

         Apollo's speech bubble - "Issh sssawesome."

Caption box at bottom- In our drunken state, we thought we were geniuses to name him Vagabond, because if he really was a vagabond, it would explain why he wasn't around anymore after his fake hero homicide. 
         2nd Caption box on bottom - Retarded.


Page 7 - Page consists of 5 panels.  2 splitting the top section, 2 splitting the middle, one long panel on bottom

Panel 1- Close up of a sketch pad with crude drawings showing the actions described in the caption box

Caption Box- We planned to pull it off by Apollo using his power to phase through solid objects to make it look like he punched a hole clear through my chest.  And by using fake blood.  Gotta include the details, right? 

Panel 2- Panel shows Swoop flying at Apollo/Vagabond as his fist isstuck through our hero.

Caption Box- Besides the embarrassment of how queer this idea was altogether, I also ended up feeling really guilty.  Just as Apollo/Vagabond was fake killing me, that egomaniac, Swoop picks this moment to actually think of someone besides his super-lame self. 

Panel Three -  Panel shows Swoop plowing into Apollo's back

Caption Box - He just happened to be flying past and jumped in, beating the ever-living shit out of Apollo.  I was afraid he was going to let the story leak out because I got his ass kicked with my ultra clever plan. 

Panel Four - Swoop beating Apollo senseless

Caption Box - But the secret stayed secret.  I don't know why I worried really.  He already proved he was a real friend by taking the beating and not blowing our cover by letting Swoops punches phase through him. 

Long Panel 5- Panels shows a newspaper opened to page eight and laidout so we can see some of the other headlines as well.  Good chance for cheap humor in those other headlines. 

Caption Box - The newspaper ran the story of my death... on page 8.  Before the, uh, pants thing, that would have been headline news. 

Page 8 - 6 panels, 2 in each row, all about equal size, give or take.

Panel 1 - Shows our hero in his new costume in a heroic pose. 

Caption Box - I became The Bounder.  I faked new powers using my real ones.  I still fly, I just make it look like a super-powered bound.

Panel 2 - Our hero using a few kicks on various thugs

Caption Box- And I incorporated a lot of kicks into my fighting style.  I figured I'd give the impression that my legs were like, the source of my powers or something.  Kind went with the bounding thing. 

Panel 3- I don't know what image would go with this...

Caption Box - No cape.  No catch phrases or public speeches.  No gold in the costume.

Panel 4 - I don't know on this one either...

Caption Box - And things were good. Great, even.  It was like the old days when I first started using my powers.  I loved to be strong again. 

Panel 5 - Shows our hero being fast

Caption Box - I loved to be fast. 

Panel 6 - Shows our hero bounding

Caption Box - I loved to take off and defy gravity. 

Page 9 - four panels

Panel 1- Long panel featuring our hero delivering several kicks to Sledge. 
Caption Box at top, left corner - I really loved getting a chance to beat the balls of The Sledge a few months after the identity change.  The old me would have made some joke about Please, Hammer don't hurt ‘em or his lacking the ability to touch this. 

Caption Box at bottom, right corner - Some things were better off dead.

Panel 2 - Various actions shots

Caption Box - Most of all, I loved using all that to do right.  I loved being a hero.  It had been years since I got up in the morning excited that I might have a chance to save a life or several lives that day. 

Panel 3 - More action shots

Caption Box - Remember when #23 came back to basketball? I'm talking about that first time.  I like to pretend that time with Washington didn't happen.  Anyway, when he came back, everything was fresh again.  He loved basketball again.  That's how I was with being a hero. 

Panel 4- Our hero in a cocky, arrogant stance

Caption Box  - And this newly refreshed attitude... it made him unstoppable.  I thought I was, too. 


PAGE 10 - 8 panels.  Panels 5,6, and 7 that zoom in on the eyes can be very narrow or smaller to allow room for everything else on this page

Panel 1 - Shows an up-close view of his gloved hands, soaked in blood.
                   Caption Box - But worst of all, there is no instruction booklet that tells you what to do when you are covered in the blood of the ten-year-old girl that died in your arms.

         Panel 2  - Drawn in a little bit of a blur to give it the feel of a recalled memory, the panel shows our hero reaching, stretched out with his hand just shy of a bullet in flight only inches away from the back of little girl. 

Caption Box - The one that, despite your amazing speed and abilities...
         
Panel 3 - Shows the silhouettes of both our hero and the little girl, all in black, as her head explodes and throws blood and gore all over him. 
Caption Box -...you were a little too slow to save today.

         Panel 4 -  Shows her slumped forward into his arms
         
         Panel 5  - Shows her eyes, up-close and frantic looking

         Panel 6 - Shows his eyes up close and frantic looking

         Panel 7  - shows her eyes, now rolling back in her head

         Panel 8- Their silhouettes as he holds her, arms draped down and head falling back.


PAGE 11 - only one panel

Panel 1 - Shows our hero sitting on the statue again, this time in full color so we can see the blood on him.

Caption Box - Even worse than not having a guidebook for how to be a hero, there aren't instructions about what to do when you couldn't be one.