This Wasn't Meant For Me

Hoping one day soon
I'll be able to float into the heavens above
And slip into that body that was meant for me
So toned and slender
With Beautifully bronzed skin
Maybe then I'll start to feel free
My reflection now wears me down
All I do is sit around and cry
All day long, all alone in my home
Whats a girl to do
When she can't take care of herself
She stays  awake while everyone else is asleep
This can't be right
She deserves a content heart
And freed mind

Maybe this life wasn't meant for me
This wasn't meant for me
This wasn't meant for me
I was born so I could die

It can't be such a sin to want to end it all
Especially when nature doesn't feel real
When breathing doesn't seem natural
When everything falls apart
And all your hope is gone
You begin to think

Maybe this life wasn't meant for me
This wasn't meant for me at all
I keep starting all over again
And then I begin to fall
This time I'm falling faster
Then ever before

I don't know what the hell happened
But it all fell apart

You know when everyday is spent praying to die
For an accident that will keep you from living your life
That you're just not meant to be alive.

People used to love me
People used to hug me
I used to feel like I had dreams..........
Now my mind is filled w/ problems involving my poor mental health
When u have to lie to get by
w/ the ones u love
hiding all your real pain
reassuring them everything's okay
u know it can't be right
always saying that u feel "alright"
when all u do is sit alone and cry
this just can't be right.
And that's how I know why
When I was born, I was really meant to die,
rather than live a healthy, normal life.