I saw you in a dream

I saw you in my dreams

I saw you in my dreams
with my great-grandmother
in a room lit by the heavens
through the door you two entered
holding hands.

You were two or three, straight hair touched your shoulders.
Mammye looked like she did when I was a kid.
Walking toward me, I almost saw your face
then the phone rang
and I lost you.

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Above: A much edited piece from the poem below. 
Below: First Draft Only-Will be creating two poems out of this one.
See

To my third child  (E) A mother's muse, the third child she cannot ignore #1409938 by SWPoet

and

How you came to be  (E) How an angel and a miscarriage brought me a baby boy. #1410532 by SWPoet

for other two poems made
out of the one below.

****************************************************************************

Wings and a safety net

My little muse
my third child,
I thank you
for opening my heart
and spilling forth
the puzzles of my family

I saw you in my dreams
before the last miscarriage,
a year before my second son, hand in hand
with my great grandmother
in a room lit by the heavens
through the door you two entered.

You had shoulder length shiny hair,
two or three years old and holding her hand.
Mammye looked like she did when I was a kid,
when we went to Six Flags, she was 70 something,
I was three, with straight shiny hair, in the Polariod.
I always thought it was so cool she wore jeans.

Walking toward me, I almost saw your face
then the phone rang and I lost you.                                        
I yearned to bring you back, both of you
but I knew somehow you were telling me something
I lost you again, my body not ready,
or maybe you weren't meant to come.

The end of that pregnancy was the key
to learning what had gone wrong over and over.
Your life, though no heartbeat was ever heard,
was made real by the knowledge losing you brought
I knew then, hope wasn't lost, and you, my muse
inspired me to go the distance one last time.
                             
Mammye was always a sly old woman
and I knew you were in good hands,
though I can't say I didn't shed some tears
that week at Easter mass, holding my one son
just two, with shiny hair, no longer destined to be the only,
I knew then what you were trying tell me
                                                           
A year later, you watched over your new brother
when the doctor said he we need to "cut our losses"
and bring him into the world two months early,
touch and go far too many times for comfort
but the comfort was in knowing you two were there
to deliver our new arrival safely to this world.          

And although you don't visit my dreams much anymore,
I've accepted your gift with love and appreciation.
If you're going to stick around to be my muse,
I have just one more request- Could you keep watching over the little guy
This three year old with shiny hair and a love for danger
could use some wings and a safety net.  Will you be there?.