He Was Always On Her Mind

  A/N: I'm obviously a huge Harry Potter fan and I love the Marauder era so you'll find that I write a lot L/J stories like this one. This is very fluffy and a bit angsty but hopefully you'll like it so please R&R. There is a little heated moment at the end but hopefully I've rated this right =)

  Disclaimer: Characters, places, jobs, everything belongs to JK Rowling. All credit goes to her for the wonderful world of Harry Potter.

~.~.~.

  Lily walked down a dark London street. There weren’t many people around because it was dark and raining. Lily held a black umbrella in one hand, her other hand firmly closed around the handle of her wand which was in her jacket. You could never be too cautious, especially when Lord Voldemort or his Death Eaters could be just around the corner. With a pang of sadness Lily remembered her parents and how they had been murdered by Lord Voldemort only eight months ago. Lily blinked back tears as she kept walking back to her apartment. It had been five months since she had left Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and she was still adjusting to the independence, working, eating what she herself cooked, not seeing her friends everyday and not having to deal with the troublesome Marauders, which in Lily’s opinion, was a good thing.

The rain started to fall harder on her umbrella and water splashed onto her toes, making her feet slide down in her black, high heeled shoes.

Her thoughts turned to the mischievous James Potter. In her last months of school when she had outwardly stopped mourning for her dead parents and N.E.W.T.S were finally over she began to realise that James was more mature than he had been in recent years and she had noticed that year that he had even stopped asking her out completely. Though he still ruffled his hair which used to annoy Lily now she thought it added to his cute appearance. But that was when she was at school and saw him everyday; now, over the five months that she had been out of school she had only caught a glimpse of him once in the Atrium in the Ministry of Magic.

Lily was ripped suddenly from her thoughts when she collided with a hard object and fell backwards into a large puddle, soaking the backside of her jeans and the bottom of her knee-length, button up, black coat. Her umbrella flew out of her hand but luckily her fingers were still wrapped tightly around her wand which was now out of her pocket, a spell in her mind.

“Sorry about that,” A deep male voice said. A hand shot out of the darkness to help her up and Lily took it. He hauled her up easily but Lily still had her wand out. “Lily!” The man exclaimed, surprised. Lily quickly brushed her now wet hair from her face and looked up into the hazel eyes of James Potter.

“James!” Lily smiled and put her wand back in her coat. She noticed James put his own wand back in pocket but he kept his hand firmly upon it.

“Can’t be too careful ‘eh?” He said, looking around slightly. Lily said that he was dressed as a muggle in a crisp black suit with a black buttoned shirt and no tie. He was also completely soaked from head to toe from the rain.

“Yeah can’t be too careful.” Lily murmured.

“Where are you going?” He asked,

“Just home,” She said shortly, “it’s only a few blocks away.”

“Have you read those pamphlets that the Ministry have sent out?” He asked, giving Lily a heart melting lopsided grin. “I would have thought, with you being part of the Magical Law Enforcement that you would abide by those laws.” He grinned cheekily.

“So I’m out after dark and alone.” Lily stated.

“Well then it’s a good thing I came along then.” He said as he put his hand on Lily’s back and pushed slightly.

The pair walked in the pouring rain, talking about work, Hogwarts and other trivial things.

“Oh once September rolled around I was definitely in withdrawal.” Lily laughed as they ran into the alcove of her door. They stood for a few seconds, dripping wet and laughing. “Anyway,” Lily started, “Do you want to come in to dry off?” She asked, surprising herself by the question but she didn’t regret it.

“Yeah ok,” James smiled as Lily unlocked the door and led him inside. “Wow Lily, nice pad!” James exclaimed as they entered Lily’s impeccably clean apartment. “It’s much cleaner than mine and Padfoots at least!” He laughed as he took out his wand and dried himself off as Lily did the same.

“Why do you still use those childish names?”

“They’re not childish, they’re rugged and manly!” Lily snickered, “and they also represent who we are and the bonds of friendship.”

“How do those names represent who you are?” Lily asked disbelievingly.

“Oh I can’t tell you that Lily, it’s a Marauder secret and you’d probably report us.” He grinned as she Lily pointed her wand at the fireplace and a fire sprung up in the grate.

“Just because I work for the Magical Law Enforcement doesn’t mean I’ll turn you in.” She defended.

“Yeah you probably wouldn’t but I know it would eat at you and you’d feel guilty about not upholding the law and then you may even quit your job because of it and I wouldn’t want that.” He smiled at her again which nearly made Lily’s knees collapse but she shook it off and opened the door for him. “Thanks Lily,”

“Oh it was nothing.” She smiled. Just as he was about to walk out onto the street to disapparate she reached up and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Goodnight James.” She said and hurried inside. James stood in the alcove, a goofy grin on his face. He soon disapparated.

-----

Three days later Lily had packed up everything at her desk and was about to apparate home when she saw a small boy walking past.

“Excuse me?” Lily said as she walked out into the corridor. The small red-headed boy looked up at her, he said in a pompous tone:

“Hello, I’m Percy Weasley.” He held out a small hand for her to shake. Lily laughed slightly.

“Lily Evans,” She said and shook his hand.

“It is very nice to meet you Miss Evans.” Lily chuckled again.

“Are you lost?” She asked,

“Oh no Miss Evans I could never be lost, I am merely here with my father. He works in the Muggle Research department.” He said proudly, “May I escort you there Miss Evans?” He asked and held out his arm to Lily a gentleman. Lily was on the verge of tears from trying to keep in her laughter. “Clearly professional of course!” He exclaimed when he saw Lily’s expression, interpreting it as something completely different. Lily, still smiling, lent down and took his arm.

“So, Master Weasley, how old are you?” Lily asked, playing along.

“It is three months until my seventh birthday.” He said self-importantly. They entered the elevator and arrived at Auror Headquarters. Just as Lily and Percy were about to enter the archway into the bustling office of Auror Headquarters a slightly balding, red haired man rushed out to greet them.

“Percy thank Merlin! Your mother would have killed me if I had lost you! Don’t ever run off again!” He scolded and picked him up.

“Father put me down, I am not a child.” Percy sulked. Lily laughed. The balding man noticed her.

“Arthur Weasley,” He said, extending his hand to Lily. She took it and smiled.

“Lily Evans,”

“Thank you for bringing him back.”

“Oh it was nothing!” She said airily and waved as they left. Lily turned around to go back to the elevators when she came face to face with a laughing James Potter. She quickly took a step back when she realised how close they were. James stood there, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.

“Hi Lily.”

“Hello.”

“What you up to?”

“Oh well I was escorting Percy back to his dad.” She laughed. “But I’m going home now,” They started to walk toward the elevator. “I need to go have a strong cup of coffee.”

“Bad day at work?” He asked as they entered the lift.

“You could say that,”

“Well I’m not sure about the going home thing but I know a great coffee shop.” He implied. Lily looked at him sceptically as they reached the Atrium. “So what do you say Miss Evans?” Lily sighed and looked at James who ruffled his hair nervously.

“Ok then James.” She smiled at him and he grinned back, getting lost in each others eyes.

“Hey James! James? Prong?” Sirius called as he ran toward them. James scowled.

“Honestly, he always wrecks my moments, I don’t see why he can’t go get his own moments and leave mine in peace.” He grumbled quietly as Sirius approached them through the crowd of witches and wizards. “Hi Padfoot,” James greeted, some what gloomily.

“Hey Prongs are you going home now?”

“Nah I was going to go out for a bit,”

“Oh where you going? Can I come?”

“Actually I was going to go…um…” James trailed off, all the while motioning at Lily.

“Oh hey Evans, anyway where are you-” Sirius cut himself off mid-sentence. “Prongs and Evans. Evans and Prongs. Together.” Sirius stated, slightly confused but his face cleared off all emotion and he giggled like a small girl. “Oh I get it now!” He punched James lightly on the shoulder. “Tell me all about it when you get back.” He winked and ran off laughing. Lily stood with her eyebrows raised.

“Funny fellow isn’t he.” She commented, staring at where Sirius had stood. James laughed,

“That’s Sirius for you,” They began to walk again, chatting casually.

They reached Muggle London and James and Lily walked a few blocks until James led her into a small coffee shop situated just off the street. The café was coloured in warm reds, browns and a touch of black and orange. The pair walked up to the counter,

“Two cups of coffee thanks.” James said to the very pretty waitress at the counter. Lily didn’t like her. She wore a lot of lip gloss to make her lips look bigger, her hair was dyed an unnatural blonde and she had bright blue contacts in her eyes. Lily stood behind James, becoming more and more irritated as Donald Duck (Lily called her in her head) flirted shamelessly with James. Lily started to tug impatiently on James’ jacket.

“Potter,” Lily growled. James winked at Donald Duck and led Lily to a booth in a shadowy corner.

“Even out of school girls still fawn over you.” Lily said darkly as she sat across from James in the booth.

“Not jealous are we Evans?” James asked cockily,

“Don’t be a jerk Potter,” She spat.

“Sorry,” He mumbled as Donald Duck came over to their table carrying two cups of coffee and a pot of milk. She slid the tray onto the table and leant over the table and placed one cup in front of James, completely ignoring Lily. Lily scoffed as Donald Duck’s breasts nearly fell out of the black, lacy restrainers that they were in.

“I hope you like your coffee.” She said in a high pitched, girly voice.

“Oh I’m sure I will.” James said in his deep and sexy tone. She giggled,

“So, do you have a girlfriend?” She winked,

“Oh not at the moment…” He trailed off. Lily leant forward and being very un-Lily-like took James’ hand that was resting on the table. She giggled convincingly,

“Oh don’t lie James,” She giggled again, “How long has it been now, three months? We’re definitely not just work partners anymore!” She stroked his hand and batted her eyelashes. James had to admit, she was a great actor. Donald Duck’s face fell.

“Oh, well, ok,” She said, slightly dejectedly and walked off. Lily’s façade instantly fell and she let go of his hand, sinking back into the chair with her arms folded across her chest. James smirked at her and took her coffee from the tray. He poured in some milk and emptied two sugars into her cup.

“How did you know that’s how I have my coffee?” She asked, her slight bad mood falling.

“I watch you sometimes in the Great Hall.” He answered, blushing slightly. Lily gasped dramatically and pointed a finger at him.

“STALKER!” She yelled, they both laughed.

Lily sipped her coffee as they fell into a comfortable silence. James felt the need to break it.

“Do you miss Hogwarts?” He asked,

“Yeah sometimes, it’s definitely harder in the real world.”

“Yeah,” He agreed, “I miss Hogwarts food the most.” Lily laughed.

“One thing I don’t miss is you asking me out all the time.” She said and prodded him in the chest.

“Oh c’mon, admit it, you loved the attention.”

“I did not! Why would I miss you embarrassing me all the time, wanting my attention all the time. You were so immature!”

“Me! Immature! Compared to you I seemed mature!”

“I was not immature!” Lily growled. Their voices were now harsh whispers,

“Oh really? You say I embarrassed you but you did it yourself. Always screaming at me, hitting me, hexing me, throwing stuff at me, you can’t call that being mature Lily.” She glared at him and James stared back. After a minute James laughed softly,

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just even out of school we fight.” Lily’s expression softened and she chuckled,

“Yeah,” She agreed as they both finished their coffees and stood up. James left a few pieces of Muggle money on the table and the pair walked out of the café. Dusk was falling as they made their way to a park, all the while talking about work.

“Is Auror training hard?” Lily asked him.

“It is at times but its great fun. My parents were Auror’s and I always wanted to be like them.” James rambled on. He talked about his family and Lily listened. He was completely oblivious to Lily staring at him, at his defined features and jet black hair, his muscular build and how he unconsciously ruffled his hair, how his hazel eyes always seemed to sparkle and how he involuntarily pushed his glasses up his nose every time they slipped down. James looked down at Lily and noticed that she was staring at him.

“What?” He asked, smiling at her. Lily looked away with a smirk,

“Nothing,” She replied.

“C’mon Lily what is it?” Do I have something on my face?” He persisted, running to catch up with her. She giggled slightly as he grabbed her hand and spun her around. “I have something on my face, don’t I? That was why you were laughing, wasn’t it?” Lily giggled again and looked up at his perfectly clean face. She smirked,

“Yeah it’s right here,” She said and kissed the corner of his mouth. He stood frozen to the spot as Lily smirked at him and walked off. When James came back to his senses and his legs were able to move again he ran after her but Lily had disapparated. For the rest of the night and the day after the grin on James’ face never faded.

-----

James was on Lily’s mind a lot and it seemed the more she thought about him the more he appeared. They saw each other a lot at work and occasionally in London.

Lily smiled to herself as she changed into her silk pyjamas and climbed into her bed. It wasn’t long before she gave in to her heavy eyelids, slipping into the folds of sleep.



Lily was running down a long road, sweat running from her every pore and her hair was sticking to her face. It seemed that the road would never end as she ran past many suburban houses. Finally she stopped running as she appeared at a familiar looking house. The front gate was open, the flowers trampled on and the door blown off its hinges. Lily ran up the path screaming:

“Mum! Dad!” She called as she entered the house, “Petunia!” She ran into the sitting room and saw Lord Voldemort standing in front of his parents, his wand pointed at them. He smirked at her and then there was a very bright flash of green light. Her parent’s silhouette’s fell. Lily screamed.



Her scream died on her lips as she sat up suddenly in her bed. Her hair was wet and sticking to her face and she was drenched in sweat. Lily shakily climbed out of her bed, her breath coming in sharp ragged bouts. She quickly pulled off her nightdress and slipped on a pair of jeans and a loose fitting white t-shirt. She disapparated.

“Lily what’s wrong?” He asked softly as he led her inside and closed the door. James pulled her onto the couch and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Lily told him about her dream but when she got to the part about her parents she threw her arms around his neck and cried into his chest. James stroked her hair and hugged her closer.

“I was actually there when he…when he…killed them,” she choked out, “and I’m a witch and I didn’t do anything about it. I could have stopped him!”

“Lily he’s the most powerful wizard in the world, apart from Dumbledore, you couldn’t have stopped him.”

“We don’t know that because I didn’t stick around to find out, they told me to run and I did, I wasn’t there to help them.” She sobbed. James laid down on the couch, pulling Lily on top of him.

“You’re a great witch Lily but he’s a very powerful dark wizard and you would probably be dead too if you tried to stop him.”

“I’d rather be dead than feeling this pain.” Lily murmured. James sat up suddenly and looked at Lily with such ferocity that it scared her slightly.

“Don’t say that Lily, don’t you ever say that.” He told her. Lily saw the hardness in his eyes and she nodded slowly. “Good,” He said and pulled them both onto the couch again. James slid his arms around her small form as she lay next to him. Lily felt safe in his arms and she drifted into an undisturbed sleep.

-----

Five hours later thy both awoke to the room lit with sunlight and the cat calls of Sirius. It seemed that he had just come home from a night out and saw James and Lily asleep on the couch together.

“Woo! Prongs finally got some!” Sirius yelled happily. James and Lily groggily sat up, James’ arm still around her waist. When Lily’s eyes fell on Sirius she groaned and hid her head in the cushions.

“Urgh! Get him out of here!” She moaned, her voice muffled from the pillows. James stood up and picked his wand up from the table. Sirius was still jumping around and laughing.

“Pertrificus Totalus.” James said and pointed his wand at his best mate. Sirius’ arms snapped to his sides and his legs snapped together as he toppled backwards. James smirked down at him and Sirius glared back, unable to move. “Sorry about his Padfoot,” James said as he picked up him up by the ankles and dragged him out the door. Sirius tried to protest but it only came out as a gurgle. James closed the door and sat down on the edge of the couch next to Lily. He placed a hand on her back lightly,

“He’s gone.” He told her. Lily rolled over and sat up. “Are you ok after last night?” James asked. Lily nodded but a stray tear fell down her cheek. James wiped it away with his thumb and engulfed her in a hug. “It will all be ok Lily, trust me.” James whispered in her ear.

“I do,” She said and pulled away. James led her to the door and opened it, “Thanks James,” Lily said and kissed him lightly on the cheek. James smiled slightly as Lily smirked down at the immobile Sirius and disapparated. James left the doorway and stood above his best friend. James smirked at Sirius before pointing his wand at him and muttering the counter curse. Sirius’ body instantly unfroze. The first thing he said was,

“So?” James just smirked and walked back inside.

-----

It was Friday afternoon and the Magical Law Enforcement office was nearly empty beside from a senior officer, a middle-aged woman and Lily Evans who was finished off some paperwork and getting ready to go home. It had been a long day and Lily’s back ached. As if someone had read her mind a pair of hands started to massage her neck and shoulders. Lily sighed as the heavy sent of grass, the Forbidden Forest and the sweet scent of broomstick polish met her nose. Lily finally came to her senses and swatted his hands away.

“Don’t distract me Potter, I’m busy.” Lily said as she shuffled some papers on her desk. James’ hands ran down her shoulders and onto the arms of her chair. He leant against her back,

“Busy with what Evans?” He whispered in her ear.

“Work,” Lily said forcefully, trying to ignore the fact that James’ face was so close to her own. “And so should you.”

“Ah but I’ve already finished work and so has most people.” He straightened up, took hold of Lily’s waist and pulled her off the chair. Lily spun around to face James, about to yell at him but he quickly put a finger to her lips so she wouldn’t make scene. James cast a quick neatening spell and then dragged Lily out of the office.

“James I have to work!” She reprimanded,

“Lily you should have finished an hour ago! I’m sure you don’t have that much work to do!” James replied, grinning at her. Lily scowled but let James drag her out of the Ministry and into the gathering darkness. They reached a small restaurant, ordered their food and left. James and Lily found a park bench and sat down to eat.

“How’s Auror training?” Lily asked,

“Alright, it’s slightly tiring but really fun, especially with Sirius around.” Lily nodded. James bit into his burger as Lily asked,

“Do you still keep in touch with Remus and Peter?” James swallowed,

“Of course I do, we’re the Marauders!” James exclaimed. He grinned madly and Lily giggled. “What about your friends?” He asked,

“Well Georgie is over in France teaching and Marlene is spending time with her family in Luxemburg but we all keep in touch.” Lily said. She smiled at him and threw her wrapper in the bin; James did the same and offered his arm to her like a gentleman. Lily giggled again and linked her arm with his.

“Lovely evening for a lovely maiden,” He said chivalrously. Lily giggled as James held his head high and walked as if he was important. Lily played along but ruined it by laughing all the time. “My fair lady, how do you bide this beautiful evening?”

“Very well kind Sir.” Lily replied as they strolled down the path. The trees loomed above and the shadows seemed to lengthen as the pair walked through the park, talking about nothing important and feeling at peace. Lily sighed, “Wow I miss school,” She said, there was silence except for the scuffing of their feet and the hoot of an owl.

“I miss seeing you everyday.” James said quietly. He smiled down at Lily and she smiled back, “You know seventh year I did try really hard to be mature and I stopped asking you out!” He added. Lily laughed,

“Yes I noticed that.”

“But you can’t deny it Lily, you loved the attention!” Lily smirked at this and said nothing.

“But what I don’t get James is why you still persisted, after four years of rejection, threats and hexes, why you just didn’t give up on it all?”

“S’cause I’m stubborn,” James said matter-of-factly.

“And obviously thick-skulled.” Lily laughed and pushed James with her two hands, it didn’t do much except knock him slightly off balance.

“Oh you did not just say that!” He exclaimed and nudged Lily; she laughed but lost her own footing and fell into a bush. James hurried over to her and helped her up. She was laughing and James found it infectious. Lily brushed some dirt from her skirt as James reached up and pulled a leaf from her hair. Their eyes locked and they slowly moved closer to each other. An owl hooted again and Lily came to her senses, she turned away and James reluctantly pulled his hand out of her hair. It was so soft. They started to walk again, their arms unlinked.

“I guess I was just so persistent in trying to get you to go out with me just so I could say that the prettiest girl in school actually liked me.” James said and quickly glanced at Lily who was blushing slightly.

“Those last few months at school I did start to like you,” Lily said quietly.

“Well why didn’t you go out with me?” James asked, looking at Lily.

“For one thing I had always rejected you and to just turn around and go ‘Hey James I like you’ wouldn’t have done well to my reputation or my pride, and also I thought you may not like me anymore.”

“I could never not like you Lily!” James exclaimed and stopped walking and looked at her sincerely. Lily smiled.

“That’s good then,” She said and began to walk again. Lily kept thinking about what had happened back at the bush. They had almost kissed but she had to ruin it, she had to turn away.

“Lily?” James’ voice cut into her thoughts. Lily’s head snapped up to see him looking concerned. “I’ve been calling your name for a while now.”

“Oh sorry, I was just thinking.” She said distractedly.

“Thinking about me ‘ey?” James said and winked at her.

“Sorry to disappoint you James but I was actually thinking of Remus and his strong arms and the way he talks in that sexy voice.” Lily smirked slightly as a look of hurt passed over James’ face, “I was joking!” She exclaimed but James wasn’t so convinced. They had stopped walking again and were facing each other. Lily laughed and placed her hands on James’ biceps. “I love your strong arms and sexy voice, beautiful eyes and messy hair.” She slid her arms up his chest and around his neck. His warm breath tickled her nose and she smiled up at him.

“I still don’t believe you,” He whispered with a grin, Lily rolled her eyes and with a sudden burst of recklessness she lifted her head up slightly and caught her lips with his, surprising herself and James. James stood frozen before he came to his senses and kissed back with such passion that Lily gasped slightly against his lips. James grabbed Lily’s waist and pulled her closer to him.

After another few minutes of pure bliss Lily slid her hands down James’ chest and pushed lightly. They broke apart, both out of breath.

“Good night James,” Lily whispered and disapparated.

James stood, perplexed slightly but with a grin on his face. He tenderly touched his lips which still held the taste of Lily. James turned and disapparated.

He appeared behind Lily just as she unlocked the door.

“You did not just kiss me and then disapparate!” James said and took a step toward Lily. Lily smirked slightly and turned around to face James.

“I think I just did,” She laughed. James closed the small gap between them and grinned down at her as he placed his large hand on her cheek and pulled her face to his. Their lips met again in a passionate kiss. Lily’s hands snaked around James’ neck as one of his hands found her waist. They stumbled backwards into Lily’s apartment and James swung her around and pushed her up against the door which clicked shut. James’ hands found the hem of her shirt and they slipped underneath. His touch burnt her skin and she moaned against his mouth. James pulled back slightly to let Lily up for air. They were both breathing heavily but smiling at the same time. James couldn’t resist, he wanted her, needed to have more. This time when they kissed James slid his tongue into Lily’s partially open mouth and his hands roamed underneath her shirt. Lily pulled James closer, his body pressing her against the door.

Their intense kiss lasted for a long time before Lily pushed James’ perfectly toned chest. They broke apart and Lily leaned back on the door, her eyes closed and gasping for air. A smile graced her face and James lent his head on Lily’s shoulder, also breathing heavily and smiling. Lily took a deep breath in,

“James…” She said softly,

“Mmhmmm?” He mumbled from her neck.

“Can we go a bit slower,” James slowly lifted his head up,

“I can do slow,” He said with a grin. He kissed the corner of her mouth and cheek. His lips trailed along her jaw and then he moved onto her neck. Lily tilted her head back so more of her neck was exposed. James left sweet kisses down her neck. A small thought trickled into Lily’s numb brain as James kissed her collarbone and his thumb’s massaged her hips.

“No James I mean us, our relationship.” Lily managed to choke out. James stopped kissing her collarbone and straightened his neck so his eyes met hers. The bright green orbs were pleading even though she wanted more. James smiled at her and wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. Lily’s hands were still entwined in his hair as they rested their heads on each others shoulders.

After ten minutes of contented silence James and Lily laid on the couch. James wrapped his arms around Lily’s small waist and kissed her neck. Lily snuggled back into James’ chest as he tightened his hold on her slightly.

Lily felt safe in James’ arms and she knew she always would be because he was always on her mind.