My Screaming Waste Of Time

You are my screaming waste of time
My complicated princess divine
Eerie silence words never spoken
Forgotten forever, revoked get out of jail free token
Imprisoned by your expectance of what I should be
Never surely the right words to stop and clean up this mess
Did I ever tell you how you looked in that dress?
You see I am this, living to be guilty
Timing is everything, you hit my last nerve
What did I not do to endure this pain you feel I deserve

A terrorist of the heart, out to get you in every way
You’ve called the jury the clerk the witness had me tried and put-away
Convinced in fear I feel no room for debate
I wish I could remove all the misguided hate
For when the trust is gone theres nothing left no room for a mistake
Struggling for perfection to understand im doing my best
All a tragic cowering confess
Fucked up again telling my problems to the wind
For it has no views or opinions to drill in

Cannot be anything but who I am today
Always apologising for what happened yesterday
You triggered a foul chain reaction
You are not satisfied showing it all too well
Forgetting my day my night even how to spell
The words of a much larger version of me I know
My compassion and love a seed you cannot sow

Tired and exhausted explaining myself
Seems to you im the one that needs help
I try and I try forgetting who I am
Praying you wont persecute me again
Doesent seem that day will come
Hate me tomorrow as a clown who is no fun

Making my own decisions surely cant be that bad
Questioning to how it got here nothing left to brag
Not needing opinions to settle my confused situation
Gotten this far relying on a self serve station

Think what you want of me I know this is another waste of your time
But I am here trying I promise I'm not whining
Not looking for anyone or anything else to lend a hand
You are appreciated and you should know its true
Would pray to laugh at this when its all through

You see its something in you’re eye a hunger I cannot feed
To watch it glisten at a passer-by
Makes me wonder what its like to be satisfied.