Location, Location, Location

I frowned at the lava flow that was slowly winding its way through my conference room. My bed was already sinking into a pocket of magma, and the beautiful, intricate stonework on the observation deck was beginning to crack. And did I mention how unbearably hot it was in here?

"I'm going to have our realtor tortured and killed," I told my Number Two.

I shook my head and sadly ordered the evacuation of my recently completed super-secret compound. They should really have a supervillain beginners' guide or something.

"Next time, remind me to ask for a dormant volcano."


(99 words)