cutting

The blade so clean sharp and shinyready to slide it across my skin.What brought me back to this point? Why do i have to feel? All this pain built up inside and this is the only thing that works for me... pulling apart my skin sliding the blade across watching the blood trickle on my wrist down and around. Why do i feel like i have to do this Why is this my way out? The relse so red and dark i lift the blade and make another cut ... I still cant feel so i will do more longer deeper and faster. More blood comes from my wrist. i finally start to calm down to have the pain disaper finally able to see cleary at what i have done .... i grab a towl and drap it over my shoulder as i grab the basket of my things needed i had already made ... washing my arm to see the extent of the damage i had done once again... i then put the pressure on my arm so that i can stop the blood as i grab the needel to sew up my arm... i flench as i statr to stick the needel thought my skin . i know feel the physical pain. i am done sewing up my arm as i place it over the sink to pour alchol done it i reach for my gauze to warp it in the first layer then grab my ace bandage so that i can cover it up as a sore wrist so that noone finds out wat i have done till its gone ... they dont know if they did they might put me away for ever....