The Animal

I am trapped in this abyss of someone that is not me. Everything I once was has faded away and what has been unleashed is a pure demon of the sorts. Anger consumes every word I speak, and I have lost the skill of biting my tongue. Hating the ones I love more than the ones I know nothing about. I prefer not too speak anymore for fear of being alone my entire life. Damaging all of the relationships of years and years in a matter of seconds or minutes. This horrible human being I have become. Yet I don't feel human. I feel like I have grown detesting talons and fierce fangs. I can growl like a dog with rabese and attack with the same force. My eyes have been painted with the deep red and yellows as fire, scaring everyone in my path. My voice has deepened causing my words too spit with a rudeness I have just discovered. No one can defeat me. I am the epitamy of evil. I am not who I once was.

I am disgusted with the woman I have become. Torchured by my own actions, and forced too live with the same stereotype many woman have come too know. I try to be gentle. I try to kind. None of it works. My attempts falture with little to no hope of making it sincere. The mood finally fades, after the damage is done. I am left too spend my happy moods, mending the harmful voice I just resently had. Most of my attempts fail, bouncing back at me like a rubber ball at my face. I only get so much sympathy but that is not what I want anyways. I just want someone to understand. Another personality is unleashed. My eyes fill with tears, tears with no cause. I wave of uncertainty washes over me, and my heart is full of sorrow. I feel empty, yet I cry tears of no remorse. I cannot explain why, I just do. Tear after tear, until my shirt is soaking and my eyes are dry and caked. I shudder away my last sobs and wipe away my last tear. I feel so alone and forgotten.

He makes me laugh then, and a burst of bellowing laughter unleashes from my larynx. I feel alive and full again, jumping up and down with relief and pure excitement. I smile and wonder why he is not as happy. Talking at a mile a minute I finally feel myself for a brief moment. Until I realize. My pregnancy hormones are taking me on a whirl wind again...........