A Story About You From Me

so the sun's hot rays were inevitably replaced and
we felt the cold clouds cast shadows on our faces
when the sky, blue or gray, is lined with faint cracks that only you and i can see,
i'll remind you of the time you told me i laugh too much
and realize that really you never even smiled enough,
that you spent too much time with your eyes closed and your lips formed into a line,
unconscious with your hands beneath your head instead of wrapped around mine
that candle on that table made me wonder why you had it
and things like was the last time you lit it
when you were with that girl i saw when i was cleaning the windows
who was strangely dressed in all black in the middle of the summer
who talked a lot, energetically, with her hands, and some designer purse
while you looked at her, blankly, moving a toothpick around in your mouth
i never liked that glass piece that sat next to the candle
usually with a lighter strewn about it
i wish i would have never seen it and i wish you would not have used it
but that one night where i stepped outside and saw you, or
your black outline in the night, ankles crossed, cigarette burning red
blowing smoke into the sky, with house lights glowing in the distance
like the artwork in your room that is burned into my brain
from all those times i'd lie awake in your bed, staring at your walls
your limbs sleeping and heavy around me and your breathing too loud in my ear
i think that maybe you should thank me for getting you out of that place
do you know how long you have been living in that cluttered room
where posters and pictures give me something to do
while you're passed out next to me
makes me want to be with the other one
makes me think of how normal we could be
and how much i want to show him off to you
holding his hand, catching you off guard