January 1st, 2008

"Write about a Sunday afternoon"

My Sister and I get together every Sunday afternoon. Stir-fry and brownies are the usual menu items. This Sunday was different. My husband was the cook this day, shrimp and rice is what he wanted to make for us. I was o.k. with this, but I was at the point in our relationship that he made me sick. Sick because of abuse, verbal and emotional. He was wrapped up in his drug addiction. He would pretend that he was innocent, I was the bitch. It was so confusing, I would give him money so he would just shut-up. Sometimes I blamed myself for giving him money to satisfy his cravings. I felt sorry for him at times, but other times I would wish that he would just go away. I wished that he would find another woman and leave me alone.

That Sunday afternoon my sister and I were immersed in watching the shows that I had previously recorded that week before; Oprah and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I was completely ignoring my husband as he was cooking the shrimp and rice. I remember feeling disgust for him and hate and I really wanted him to go away.

He served us on the couch as we were watching our favorite shows. I took the plate ungratefully as he gave it to me and ate everything. I scarfed it up and didn't give him a thought. He didn't get any "thankyou's" or "how nice "or "you are a good cook". Nothing, just ignoring, go away.

He did a couple of hours later he got dressed and started to leave our apt. My sister and I were still watching Oprah. Some kind of relationship show about dating and why men are from mars and women are from venus. I was happy, "get out" I thought to myself. Go away...He left and I walked to the door as he was leaving, a hurt look on his face the most hurt look, I will never forget the look in his eyes, so sad.

I woke the next morning and my husband was not at home, he never came home that night. I called his cell phone at 7:00 on my way to catch my bus. He was on his way home. He had an innocent attitude, he was too drunk to drive home last night was his excuse. I didn't give him any understanding, I was harsh to him and he hung up. I talked with a few times that day and the next day. I did not give him much conversation, just "shut up and leave me alone!" is what I was thinking.

I was Wednesday now, I was at work and I got a call for my husband, he met somone. Someone that Sunday night that he had left the apartment. I was surprisingly devastated please don't leave, I was kidding. Too late he left, I got what I wished for He went away.