Breaking Her Heart

         “I shouldn’t be here right now” runs through my mind again and again. Jen’s silent tears spill unchecked down here cheeks and I sit in stony silence as she fights to regain control of her emotions. I have never been able to handle a crying woman. I am always torn between the impulse to reach out and wipe away the tears or just settle for a comforting pat on the shoulder. I wedged my hands between my thighs and the bench cushion to keep them from doing anything foolish.

         “I’m sorry,” she mumbled in between sniffles. She gratefully a handful of Kleenex the waitress offered her as she refilled our water glasses. Noticing my obvious discomfort, she shot me a sympathetic look as if to say, “Good luck, buddy,” before moving on to her other tables.

         “Would you rather I took you back to your apartment,” I asked.

         “No!” she shot back loudly, and then, after noticing the questioning looks we received from the other patrons in the restaurant, added more softly, “I can’t face HER right now.”

         “Who?” I asked, thoroughly confused.

         “Who do you think?” she hissed back. “My roommate!”

         “What does your roommate have to do with anything?”

         “She was the one Mark was making out with!”

         Like the tumblers of a lock, everything suddenly clicked into place. The seemingly harmless flirtations when we were all hanging out together. The “coincidental” moments when Mark and Sara just happened to be out of the room at the same time and the lame excuses they gave when they both were gone longer than expected. How did I miss seeing her bleach-blonde hair, even in the dim light of the movie theater? How could I have been so stupid?!? I knew Mark was a player, but now I could see he had played us both. “Oh, no,” I moaned before I could stop myself.

         “What’s wrong?” Jen asked

         “Oh,” I said, realizing I had spoken out loud. My mind raced and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “I think I left my car keys in the ignition.”

         “We came in my car, remember?” She jingled her keys in front of me for effect. “What’s going on?”

         I once heard someone say that it was better to remain quiet and let someone think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. But her insistent gaze made me realize that I was going to prove to her that I was the biggest fool of all time.

         “I knew Mark was fooling around …,” I started out very softly.

         “You WHAT!?!?” All conversation died instantly in the restaurant as patrons and waitresses alike gave us their full attention. Her eyes smoldered but she waited until the buzz of the other conversations resumed. “You knew about them and you never told me? Why?”

         “I didn’t know it was Sara,” I pleaded in my defense. “I guess I should have known or figured it out, but I swear I didn’t know it was her.”

         “But you knew he was cheating on me. You knew and you never said a word.”

         “I couldn’t. He is my roommate.”

         “And I am your friend. And friends don’t do that to each other, Andy. You could have told me. You could have said something – anything – at least hinted at it rather than let me find out like….” Her eyes suddenly turned distant and thoughtful. She looked at me with incredulity and my hands immediately broke into a cold sweat. “You did tell me, didn’t you?” Her eyes locked onto mine with such fierceness that I had to fight not to look away. “Tonight. Our hanging out together while Mark was supposedly working on his term paper. You suggested going to see the movie even though I know you went and saw it last week. You knew he would be there. You knew he would be there with her. This whole night was a setup. Even stopping here at Mark’s and my favorite restaurant is a setup isn’t it. It’s so I wouldn’t stop thinking about him – so I wouldn’t stop thinking about him with her. It’s a setup, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?!?!”

         I felt like I could now relate to anyone who has ever stood facing a hangman’s noose. I could feel the platform dropping out from beneath me, but I managed to squeak out a meek “Yes” before the rope closed off my airway. Jen abruptly stood, snatched her purse from off the seat beside her and stormed out of the restaurant. I dug in my pocket and threw out a wad of bills for a tip even though we never got around to ordering anything and raced out the door after her, feeling every pair of eyes in the restaurant staring at my back as I went. I caught up to her just as she unlocked her car door. “Jen, wait! Let me explain!”

         “Oh, this should be good. So let’s hear it, Andy. Tell me what reasons you could possibly have for keeping me in the dark about this for so long and then arrange it for me to find out like this. What reasons do you have for stabbing me in the heart and then twisting that knife for as long as you could tonight? Do you get some sadistic pleasure out of showing people how emotionally stupid they are? Let me hear it. What are your reasons?” Hot, angry tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks as she waited for my response.

         “Because you deserve better than that and I love you too much to allow him to continue to treat you that way whether you realized he was doing it or not. And if he….”

         “Wait!” she interrupted the torrential rush of words. “Did you just say you love me?”

         “Yes,” I admitted a little bashfully.

         “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” Jen replied before crushing my lips with our first kiss.




Word Count: 999