Still

Dear Mother,
I know at one time you must have been strong.
Though, I really can't remember.
But you survived in your own way.
We made it through many Decembers.
I guess you were always scared.
I guess it's my fear, that has faded
And despite the anger that's replaced it, I promise I have never hated.
It is only love that can hurt.
And only love that can hurt so heavy.
And though all these years have passed.
The hurt is still slow and the hurt is still steady.
Each year it has more anger
Each year your eyes get further.
I'm still waiting for all these feelings to stop
And for all this pain to weather.
I'm still waiting for you to lift it all.
Still waiting for you to be better.