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in a peaceful southern town
where the women don't get around
and the men know Webster's gentleman
lived the Humperfrump family:
Betty Sue, George, Davey, and Betty Lynn

conventional was the game
each thought was the same
so anything alternative was dismissed
but sweet Betty Lynn refused to give in
her diary was a 'Divide and Conquer' list

one tuesday she met a boy
by the light of a street lamp
swinging from the rail of her neighbor's porch ramp
and in her mind she devised a plan
to plant him a kiss right in his hand

head held high, Betty looked courage in the eye
changing her mind, she kissed that guy on his left thigh
he stared with surprise
huge, wandering eyes
at this silly girl on her crooked knees
"Get away, you freak! I can't be the one you seek."
and in that moment, to Betty Lynn, he was weak

it was her first heartbreak
one her soul couldn't take
that girl's poor tears created an ocean of fears
and her anger created earthquakes
in a small town with nothing to look forward to

she hated him so
said "fuck you, just go!"
and raced through the Night's woods
for weeks she laid with her body in the shade
and her family left to panic, dogs sniffing at where she once stood

on a midsummer's day, Betty Lynn had her way
she gripped her heart holding in tight its value
for no one to have...her thoughts went wild
that Humperfrump child
drowned in New Orleans' bayou