My Heart Is Yours Forever (Part 2)

Allison didn’t even try to walk after her, so Baylie assumed she’d learned her lesson. Baylie herself was about to cry but held it in again and sat down in a pew as people started to file in. She saw Allison walk by, with Adam. Baylie rolled her eyes. She knew Allison would go crying to Adam and James the moment she was told. She leaned back slightly and just sat there, listening but not really hearing as Adam preached that hour, not really feeling the message or God Himself.

Afterwards, she was gathering her things together when she felt someone touch her arm. Whipping around, expecting Allison to be standing there, she only saw Adam. A sigh of relief escaped her, but was sucked back in when he said, “We need to talk.”

“Oh…okay.”

They sat down and he put his hands on her shoulders.

“I heard about your little outburst at Allie in the hallway.”

“Apparently you did, are you here to scold me?” she asked in all sarcasm.

“No…I’m wondering…why has it taken you so long to break?”

“I haven’t broken,” she said icily. “I just needed to tell Allison not to treat me like we’re close, because she’s the one that’s had nothing to do with me.”

“Sweetie…” Adam said softly, “…I know that’s not your only reason. I know how badly you’re hurting….but don’t forget, Allie’s as sensitive as you are…”

“I’m going to die, what do I care?”

“You will NOT.”

Baylie’s heart lurched as she continued to speak. “But I will, Adam, can’t you see that? It’s got to happen soon…if not tonight even…I want to die so much…I’m so fed up with my life…I hate it…I hate myself…I’ve tried just living…and I’ve tried praying…so many times…what’s the point of going on?”

She didn’t understand the sudden intensely sad look on his face.

“Baylie, we’ve been through this. Life gets so much easier with God…if you’ll keep asking Him for light…don’t give up on me.”

“I have to…I don’t want this anymore.”

He sighed again and got up, motioning for her to follow. She obliged, and soon they were sitting on the altar steps. He reached for his guitar nearby and started playing. Baylie knew what he was going to sing before he even opened his mouth.

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it?
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it?
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't bleed us again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

Baylie’s eyes were starting to water again, but she knew if she cried one little bit, the rest would keep coming. She compromised by hugging Adam tightly.

“I’m sorry…I can’t stop feeling the way I do…but I want you to know something…you’re the big brother I haven’t had in awhile…and I love you.”

His grip tightened on her. “I love you too, kiddo…and I’m not letting you go.”

“You mean physically or what?”

“No…I don’t think I have a choice there. You know what I mean, Baylie.” He let her go. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

“Sunday…I’ll see ya.”

She walked out of the church, knowing that she had lied to him. She wouldn’t see him Sunday.

In fact, she’d never see him again, not after tonight.