The Novel formely known as Spoon.

         It was a dark and stormy night. At least it would be if they were on a planet, thought Larry.          Here he was educated in the finest institutions for decades. Taught by the masters and here he was a great success. After all that time. At manicuring the deck of the hallways on a six star luxury space liner. For a 2 year cruise. With no stops. He kicks at a passing vacbot.


         "WARNING ABUSE DETECTED YOUR ID HAS BEEN LOGGED", the vacbot bellows.
         "Dammit, this is what got me here in the first place. The Pursers going to have my butt in a sling for sure", Larry says, his pasty complexion paling.
         "Have a nice day.", the vacbot intones politely as is scurries away.
         "Come back here you piece of wreckage.", he says, dropping his tools of the trade and heading after the offending vacbot.
         The vacbot slows down and moves to one side to let the oncoming life form pass it by.
         "I've got you now. You stinking piece of wreckage.", Larry says through clenched teeth.
         He come up behind the vacbot and reaches for its power cell, just as his hand is about to touch it the vacbot takes off with a burst of speed.
         "SABOTAGE ATTEMPT DETECTED YOUR ID HAS BEEN LOGGED.", the vacbot bellows as it races away.
         "Blast it all", Larry says as he sprints after the vacbot.
         "Great, just great. Now I'm really in trouble.", Larry says as he huffs away, trying to catch the retreating vacbot.
         The vacbot slows to its normal pace after a couple of minutes. As Larry approaches’, panting heavily, the vacbot again slows and moves to the side of the corridor to allow the sensed life form to pass it by. Larry ambles past this time. Only to stop just past it and pivot around. He sidesteps in front of the offending vacbot and snatches at the power cell.
         "SAB *** SKEEEEEeeeee.....", says the vacbot as its power-cell is ripped out.
         "At least I'm not going to get shafted for this one", Larry says under his breath as he inspects his handy work.
         Working quickly he fishes a piece of wire out of his pocket and uses it to wipe the vacbots memory. He glances around furtively as he proceeds to repair the damage that the power cell removal has caused, humming softly as he works. Once the damage is repaired he deftly slides the power cell back into its place, stepping out of the way, allowing the vacbot to continue on its programmed rounds.
Smiling, Larry ambles back to where he tossed his SonicMaster 2000.
         "Well at least I took care of everything that time." , he says with a sly smirk.
         He grabs the SonicMaster and goes back to cleaning the corridor of the dried ooze that the Zarthans left everywhere. He shivers with the remembered pleasures of his encounter with Fluicia. Then shudders with the horror of what it cost the both of them.
         Overhead the cambot spider shifts slightly, keeping the SonicMaster 2000 in the center of its sights.
###
         "Dammit. Phil I told you that the tracer in the SonicMaster wouldn't work." , Charlie says, pounding the console.
         "Look Charlie. At least we got the attempt to kick it on the surveillance disk. It could have been worse." , Phil says, rolling his eyes, "I still don't know why you've got it in for Larry.", he shrugs, "It's not like he's the first crewmember to take thing out on the bots."
         "He's on this ship because he nearly killed the Zarthan ambassadors offspring.", Charlie says, spinning to stare intently at the readouts on the monitoring wall. "We're supposed to be making his life a comedy of horror, persecution and hopelessness.
         Phil shakes his head, "I still think that the poor guy suffered enough with knowing what he did to . . .", looks up at the ceiling blankly for a second, "Fluicia wasn't it?"
         Charlie slouches into down in the chair shaking her head, "Only you would remember that slugs name Phil, only you."
         "Don't give me that crap.  You remember that name perfectly well Charlie.", Phil gestures towards the never changing screen in the center of the console.  "Hell you leave that thing up all the time. I think your only concern is how to make Larry suffer as much as possible."
         "It just isn't natural. A human and a slug doing what they did.", Charlie swivels so her eyes bore into Phil, "And I'll do whatever it takes to keep people from doing that with some kind of disgusting, " her face screws up like he just ate something rancid, " thing."
         "The Zarthans are our friends and allies. Not 'things' as you so rudely put it."
         "I tell you that it just isn’t right Phil. We need to keep the human race pure."
         Phil sighs and shakes his head," Charlie. It's not like we can breed with the Zarthans or anything like that. The purity of the human race is secure my friend."
         Her face flushing, Charlie lunges up from her seat," That's not the blasted point. These 'things' are making it harder and harder for a woman to land /any/ man"
         Phil slides out of Charlies path, edging towards the door. "Look Charolett May Makenze,"
         Charlie freezes, her face pales as her gaze snaps to Phil.
         Phil grins, "Well I knew that would at least get you attention Charlie."
         "I told you to never call me that.", Charlie says through clenched teeth. Her hands slowly tightening into fists at her side.
         Phil meets the fury filled gaze calmly. "Well you were starting to go into that Zarthan hating sermon again. You did ask me to stop you if you headed that way didn't you?"
         Her fists loosening Charlie nods, "Yea I did didn't I.", she shakes her head, "Couldn't you have used a different way though. You know how riled I get when someone does that to me Phil."
         He smiles apologetically, "Well it was the only thing I could think of that I knew would work.", he grins," You tend to twist everything into your rant once you get boosting on that path you know."
         Charlie relaxes partially, “Well I suppose you’re right Phil. I still think we should steer clear of them in that way. It will only lead to trouble in the end.”
         “If everyone took precautions like I do then there wouldn’t be an issue at all Charlie. Unfortunately most men don’t want to bother,”, Phil rolls his eyes,” It’s too much trouble. It takes away from the sensation. What a pile of crap. The only thing that gets left out is that damned chemical stimulation of your brain. Personally I can do without that.” he finishes with a nod.
         “You have no idea what it’s doing to women.”
         “Why? Because I happen to be a man.”
         “No, not that. It’s because you’re not a woman.”
         “Right, So it’s because I’m a man.”
         “I didn’t say that.”
         “If it’s because I’m not a woman then it has to be because I’m a man. Either that or you think that I’m some other kind of alien who is a genetic match for a human male.”
         “Geez, you don’t need to take it so personally you know.”
         “I wouldn’t need to if you didn’t keep harping on the same blasted thing.”
         “It’s a problem that needs to be fixed.”
         “I agree, but you keep attacking me about it.”
         “I’m not attacking you.”
         “Then what do you call it Charlie?”
         “I don’t know what to call it. I just know that the whole thing just infuriates me.”
         “Try not to come at me blasting away will you. I’m not the enemy here.”
         “I know. It just sucks. Losing what I once had to the slu... I mean Zarthans."
         Phil smiles.
         "Well Charlie if you at least run the words through your head before blurting them out you'll manage to not get reamed out nearly half as much."
         "Yea I'll have to work on that Phil."
Charlie sits back down and turns toward the console, ending the conversation

Larry smirks and chuckles to himself, "Looks like being a good little worker and getting promoted to mantinance is going to pay off after all".
He looks to make sure he isn't being watched, that was a lesson he learned the hard way from the cambots of Charlie and Phil.
"Good, none of those cambots here now, " he starts working on the lock in front of him, "Not that they would be since someone forgot to charge them up after thier last trip out."
The lock clicks faintly and the door, along with its "Dormant, Do Not Disturd" sign, slides part way open.
Larry eases is over just enough to squeeze his slendar frame through to the zarthans room. His eyes widen when he sees the size of the pool that the ooze has made. The hand holding the door drifts towards the bottle he brought with him. The door springs to life, rushing towards the closed position now that his hand is off its safty sensos.
Larry lunges back towards the door, reaching for the edge, "SHIT!".