My sister hates me?

Your thoughts and Ideas are appriciated!!!!
Yes I know, the spelling is just bad!!!

  "I could not live on the farm because of you, I had to live at the commune" She scremed at me.
  I never even knew she wanted to move to the farm.The more I thought of it,  I realized how low my father would go to keep people from hating him.
  Dad sat in silence as she continued on with her tirade, never admitting to the truth.
  She, my sister the junk collector! She can tell you where every thrift store in within a hunded miles from her home is. She can also spend hours telling you how broke she is.
    I remember helping one of her moves, if you can call it just a move. I called it running out on her husband and hurting her kids, just because she thought he was cheating.
    Like most of her father like rants, she put a thought in her head and ran with it. Rather than stopping to find out the truth, she gutlessly packed up and left.
    The four horse tailer and a couple of pickup trucks, were not enough to hold her stuff.
    I'm not just talking furniture and figureenes, I'm talking boxes of stuff, some had never seen the light of day since she brough it home. 
    Under the kids beds, I found boxes of old books she probably forgot even existed. Years after the move, she admitted she had not opened most of the boxes we packed for her
  Filling boxes with toys that had been broken for who knows how long, just confimed what we all know, the girl has a problem.
    Dad won't tell her it is her junk collecting, that kept him from allowing her to live on the farm. He was the one who did not want her here,  he would rather she hate me.
    He complains to me about the stuff she has filled his sheds with. He complains about the stuff she has been able to sneak into his house.
    He complains to me of the various cars and trucks she feels she must have, that take up room in his sheds and along his driveway, never to be driven.
    I remember dads rant I was subjected too, concerning the junk she has stored at her Father-in-laws house. Why was I being dumped on for that?
  He is always ranting about her kids, they drive him nuts. He loves them, likes to spend time with them. Behind their backs he calls them lazy bums.
  As soon as one does something stupid that he does not like, he's in one of his moods. Watching these boys cringe from their own granfather is just sad.
  Watching these boys cringe, afraid to say or do any thing that will set their mother off, is just sad.
    Did he use me as an excues because he did not want the boys here?
    I think it was easier for him to tell her she could not live here because of me, than to tell her he did not want her junk on his farm?
    I think it was easier for him to tell her she could not live here because of me, than to tell her he did not want her boys on his farm?
    I'm really not sure how long ago it was, that she moved a house onto her in-laws farm, over ten years? Has she hated me all these years, because he could not be honest with her?
    Was he not honest with her,  because he did not want her mad at him, or was he afraid to be honest because he was afraid of her anger. The same anger he gives to me?

    Her idea of a commune consists of her father in law living across the feild. I have met this guy, yes he can be a little annoying at times
    Seems he shows up at her house when ever he wants. Expects her husband to come help with what ever is needed.
    I never had a chance to tell her what commune living really is, she was too busy cutting me to pieces with the words dad wanted her to believe.
    Apperantly it is ok, if my dad shows up here when ever he wants. walking in, slamming the door like my six year old neice does.
    Most of the time he would show up just to complain, rant and dump on to me anything that was going wrong in his life. A high percentage of these tirades were right after one of the sisters left from her happy family visits with him.
    I have told her many time of the tirades I was subjected to, due to her actions. She seems to think there is no probelm with that?
    Her father in law has two other sons living on the farm, her husband is usally the last resort when help is needed.
    I am on my second marraige, both my husband were the only ones dad relied on for help. When I asked why he did no ask the others for help, I was told the other had things to do. Yea, like have a life not controlled by him?
  If she feels that the situations she is in now is bad, how many weekends would she have sat around waiting for her husband to finish helping dad do things for him?
    Being as selfish as she is I don't think she would have lasted long here on the farm with dad.
    Whether you are leaveing this farm or coming home, you must stop at dads to check in or out. 
    I really don't believe she has to do that and I don't think she would stand for the questions from her FIL, but apperently I am supposed to take it from my own dad?
    It may sound petty to some, but it does get old. While most plan ahead for commutes, I have to plan ahead for what ever dad will come up with.
    The questions are alway the same, where are we going, when will we be back, which way are we going, why are we going?
    After awhile, being told that your going the wrong way, to the wrong place, can get tireing. I'm 4? years old, I think I can make some decisions by myself?
      Being ordered to "sit" because he has something to say or show me, gets old. I do have a life of my own, things I need to do?
      Does he do it to her? Does her FIL do it to her? would she stand for it or would she consider it an intrusion in her life and cut loose with a tirade on to her family,  like dad would to me and mom?
      One of my favorite rants he like to subject me too, is how those who don't stop to see him.
      "They must hate me" he says about the grand kids. 
      What teenager want to listen to their grandfather ramble on and on about what ever he feels they need to hear? Of course they don't want to stop and see him.
      Any friends that show up here, know if they stop they will be stuck at dads for hours. It isn't hate, most people have lives of their own.
     
      So, I told him the other day, it was his words that have caused the problems between the sister and I. It is his inability to admit he used me as an excuse so she would not be mad at him.
      His answer" Well, you two never got along before anyway"
      He did not deny the fact, that he casued this. In his mind it is alright if she hates me for something he said?
      All I could say to him was "Yes we did"

    This, dad like rant she was on, reminded me of other screaming tirades I had been subjected to.

    "You just want to control the farm" She sceamed at me.
    She had asked to put her porcshe in the barn for the winter, I could not allow it.
    It had nothing to do with control, there really was no where to put it. She would not give me a chance to explain, she just screamed at me.
    It is a farm, my job was to take care of the cows, not someones car. Did she really believe I should sacrafice the the well being of the cows for her Porsche?
    Just because it is a big barn, does  not mean there is room to park a car. There is the area I keep extra hay, so I don't have to drop bales everyday.
  Did she really believe that her car was more important than my health? I weighed 118 lbs back then, the bales usally out weighed me. 
  There is the area that looks empty, but it also is where the big wooden gate swings. The gate required if any cow needed vet care.
    Did she really believe that I should have to move her car everytime I needed that gate? That would require opening the big doors, hoping no cows would come in and put it back when I was done?
    She could not even shut her mouth long enough for me to explain and I was to make my everyday job harder for her?
    I think back to this tirade and all I can do is cry, she was so wrapped up in her problems, she would not even stop her mounth long enough to hear what problems she would be causingg me.
  Dad won;t tell her there was no rom for the porche. Dad won't tell her that even her would not have let her keep it in there.
    About a week after this tirade, a bunch of cows got into the barn. What kind of shape would her Pocshe have been in, with ten cows fighting for hay around it?

  "You wouldn't even let my friend rent the trailer" she screamed at me.
  Another issue she carried around, to hold against me. Like the others, it wasn't until she was in mid scream fit, did I even know the friend wanted to rent the trailer.
  Her dear friend, she had lived with her a few years before. How many times did she tell me her dear friend had stolen money from her? 
    I really don't think I am a bad person for not wanting a thief living next door to me.

  " I took your son all the time"  the finger pointing at me as she sreamed.
  She was young, my son was young, she would show up and take him for an hour or the day. I did not ask her too, I did not need her to, she did it because she enjoyed it.
  Truth be told, watching my young son drive off at a hundred miles per hour(Ok, maybe 30 miles per hour)with my sister, was not a bubble bath, relaxing moment!
    Apparently, I am a bad person becasue I did not show up and take her three boys on a whim?  Her three boys that she can barely handle taking any where?
    I really never go anywhere, shopping is really not my thing. Most of my friends live far from here, I rarely go see them.
    I had told her not long before this tirade, how dad would agree to take her boys and I would end up with them at my house.
    Mom had once told me how the sister had a fit about how they spoiled my son, allowing him to do what ever he wanted.
    Mom never explained to her the difference between one boy that would spend hours playing quietly by himself and her boys that would rip their clothes off the second they walked theour the door. 
    My son was an easy kid to handle, her three together, were too much for mom and dad. They had gotten older by the time her boys came around. This sister could not acknowlege that.
    I will bet evem dad could not count the times he and mom would get tired and ask me to take them for awhile?  But, he sat there and let her scream at me, and would not admit this truth?
  I am a bad person because I was always there when they needed me to take her kids? She is a saint, because she enjoyed her nephew when he was cute?
    Like all of her other fits, she would not stop her screaming long enough for me to explain this to her. Like dad, she does not want to know the truth or the whole story, she would rather hate me.

  Once again I questioned dad on this subject, once again he says I must forgive her?

  I tried to explain it ot him like this. If everytime I walk into a room,  she hits me with a baseball bat, I will forgive her, but I do not have to walk back into that room just to be hit again.
  According to him that is what forgiveness is, walking back into the room. But, he also doesn't feel he should have to tell her why hitting me is wrong, when it was him all along.