free

Tears filled her eyes as she fled down the stairs two at a time. They blurred her vision and smudged her eyes but they failed to erase from her memory, the look in his eyes.
No they were not tears of pain, but were each filled with her happiness, because she was now free. She burst out of the door and into the crowded street. It was a grey day, chilly but she barely noticed. Bittersweet emotions overcame here and the tears chocked out of her eyes, but yet she felt empty inside.
She walked down the street and tucked her hands into her pockets. Tear after tear still fell but she ignored them and let them roll down her face. Nothing could affect her now. Nothing ever again.
she was happy because she now was immune. No longer would she care when anyone said they cared for her. No longer would she hope for love and believe in trust. she had been rescued from all those feelings as she just got infected today, bitten by the bug of disappointment, surprisingly that’s not why she grieved, it was because she had nothing left to give. This is what it must feel like, when you’re at rock bottom but on the top of the world as well.
Her stride turned into a jog and suddenly the grey sky filled with clouds. Rain came like her tears had. Silently but surely. Like when someone creeps up behind you, you don’t know when they approached, but you know their there. The rain came down heavy, the storm had finally broken. But she noticed none of it. The door had closed, that’s all she knew. There was no looking back. She ran as if competing with the rain. But her soaked silhouette looked like it completed the grey picture. People around her looked at her askance but she barely noticed. Huddled in umbrellas, rushing home or to some place warm, they didn’t give her a second glance. She ran with her torn heart, but she ran nonetheless.
She had loved him for 9 years, since she was 20. He was all she ever knew, he was all she ever cared to know. A home, a child and a life were the things they’d promised each other. And she was sure as the grey in the sky that she wanted that with him. Where would she begin now without him by her side? She didn’t know, but she knew she could, and she knew she would. She hated him but she knew she didn’t have reason to. Falling, she was falling fast. But she would fall forever, so where does the pain come in?
He didn’t think she was the one for him, that’s all he had said. She fled as soon as he said those words, because she there was nothing more she needed to hear. Those words said it all. They had broken her and mended her simultaneously. Smiling and happy she slowed down. She was in a neighborhood she didn’t recognize and the rain was still pelting down harder than before. She saw bench and sat down as if in a trance. She was soaked head to toe now but she couldn’t feel a thing. She was numb because of the cold, or so she hoped.
He had never loved her, she realized right then but somehow it felt like she always knew it. Like something in her subconscious, was now looking her square in the eye. This emotional workout had drained her.
It was getting late and the street was emptying. She needed to get home, but her home was where she had just fled from. There was nothing left to do but just sit there.
She sat there for hours in retrospect not realizing when it got dark. She made a beautiful scene, her head rested on the back of the bench, not a care in the world and no place to be. But the expression in her eye is what made her standout. It was the dawn of redemption.
She cried some more then, and the heavens cried with her.