Eggs

Zeke couldn't stop staring, couldn't figure out exactly anything about it, except that it gave him the bad vibes. Near as he could tell it looked kinda like a egg, sorta, except what you might call the shell was soft rather than hard like a chicken and it was about as big as a small dog. To add to that it looked like it was pulsing, like with a heartbeat, and he couldn't be sure from this far away but it seemed to be bleeding, that is if it was alive whatever it is, or oozing some kind of thick liquid from it. Zeke forced himself to turn away from the pulsing mass in between the two barely there bushes so he could find Henry and get another pair of eyes' thoughts on the matter.

"Henry whadya reckon that is there in between them bushes over yonder?"

Zeke called having spotted his friend finishing up a squirt behind a boulder. Henry walked up to where Zeke was standing wiping his hands on the front of his pants.

"Jee-sus Zeke, you damned near scared me half to death with your hollerin, got piss all over myself, jumped half out of my boots I swear."

Zeke ignored his friends complaints and stuck a finger at the oozing object of interest.

"Look at that Henry, you ever see something like that before?"

Henry finally at full attention refocused his gaze at his friend's direction, his face contorting in disgust as he tilted his head in a questioning pose.

"What in all the hell, what is that man?"

"I been trying to ask you the same question Henry, you ain't seen nothing like it neither huh?"

"Don't reckon I have, maybe we should take a closer look though you reckon?"

"Reckon so, maybe we should go back to the truck first, get the gun though?"

"Fuck that, trucks a quarter mile over that yonder hill, by the time we got over there, got the gun, and got back over here it might be gone?"

"So you think it's alive then?"

"Can't tell from this far away, quite being a pussy and come with me closer to it?"

"Well if you's such a badass get on over there yourself then?"

"I will, don't think I won't?"

"Naw, don't reckon you will."

"You comin or not?"

Zeke sighed and motioned for Henry to take the lead, they got on each others nerves pretty often out here, just the two of them checkin fence line for ranchers ten hours a day, normally Zeke would have played the bull-headed routine and called Henry on his boast, he knew Henry was chicken-shit he been with him at the bars too many times to know the truth of that, but his curiosity got the best of him and he followed Henry down the little hill they'd been standing on to inspect whatever that thing was. As they got closer to it, Zeke was sure that it was pulsing, but not like taking a breath, more quick like a heartbeat or something, and whatever the ooze was it had covered the entire egg-thing and was now pooling in the dirt around it.

They stood staring at it for a good five minutes before Henry finally broke the odd tension.

"Fuckin eww man"

Henry spat a thick load of chew to the dirt, a thin line staying connected to his lips fell against his chin, finally noticing the stream of brown spit, Henry sucked back up into his mouth and spit again. Zeke didn't know what he found more disturbing the pulsing, giant chicken egg or his friend, either way it all ended with disgusting fluids coagulating in the dirt.

"K Henry we're closer now, whadya think?"

"Looks like a giant egg covered in goo"

"Well hell I coulda told you that from back where we was standing before dumbass."

"Layoff it, you were the one who asked me what I thought, besides I mean there ain't that much else to see up close is there, just looks like a giant gooey chicken egg right?"

"I guess, but ain't no chicken egg I ever seen looked that soft, or oozed goo for that matter."

Zeke watched Henry scratch his chin and spit again, then kneeled down and looked for something to poke it with, he felt like five year old who found some dead animal in the middle of the road, but foolish as it seemed he couldn't resist the urge, he had to poke. He gave up trying to find something and was reaching out to touch the thing with his finger when Henry shouted from behind, Zeke jumped and stumbled on his boot falling straight back and knocking his head against the sun-hardened dirt. Still laying on his back watch the sky move in circles in his vision he heard Henry laughing somewhere out of his swirling vision.

"What the hell you laughing at, and more importantly what the hell were you hollerin about bout making me jump half up out myself?"

"Scuse me, if I'da known you was that jumpy I'da kept myself in check, I was yelling cause I think I know what it might be, see I seen this program on channel 21 the other night about sea turtles right, and the man on the program said that sea turtles got soft eggs, and they a mucous that spreads over em' when they momma turtle shits em out right, I think we mighta found us a sea turtle Zeke."

"Henry, you are about the stupidest person I ever meet in my life, and I know your brother Bobby so that's saying somethin, do you think before you say the stupid shit that pops into your brain, or is that a particular ability that gets lost after generations of marrying within the family, look around stupid, there ain't even a goddamned pond or puddle within eighty miles of us in any direction, let alone a whole goddamned ocean, are you retarded, seriously?"

"Well fuck me for having an idea, least I got something to say, I ain't the one who stared at it for damn near fifteen minutes and all I could come up with is to ask whadya think."

Zeke could tell this was the beginning of a long argument and he didn't want Henry storming off to the truck before he had a chance to get a better look at the egg, so he apologized and suggested that they find a stick to poke it with, see if was alive or not. Henry looking very much ready for an argument must have been just as curious as Zeke cause he accepted the apology and began wondering around looking for something to poke with. Back up the hill behind the boulder, Henry found something.

"It's a good sturdy stick, just one little problem."

"What's that?"

"S'covered in my piss."

"Guess your the one gets to do the pokin honors then Henry."

"I ain't touching that thing, didn't I just say it's soaked in piss?"

"Don't be a girl Henry, it's your piss, besides ain't nothing else out here but cracked mud and that fucking thing, you just gonna have to be a man."

Henry gave him the bird and a few choice words but they both ended up back at the egg, Zeke crouched next to it his face level with the pulsating mass, and Henry kneeling beside him, piss-stick in hand about to poke whatever it was.

"I don't know about this anymore Zeke, what if it's some kinda terrorist infection, and we poke, nothing happens that we see and we take some kinda super anthrax back home with us?"

"You can't go ten minutes without saying something stupid can you, besides we both know your gonna touch it anthrax or not so why don't you just fuckin do it already?"

Henry sighed and slowly reached the stick out to nudge the egg, as soon as the stick made contact with the egg, Henry whipped it back as fast as he could, bringing back some of the goo with it that shot over both their heads and made a hefty thunk as it hit the dirt.

"There Zeke, nothing happened, lets just get to the last fence and call it a day, the sun started to set, and we ain't got no gun if some rabid coyote shows up."

"You barely touched, girl, give a good poke man, some force."

"You do it then, I'm done Zeke."

"Sure I'm gonna grab-a-hold of your piss stick then just cause Henry turned into a little baby all the sudden, wasn't you the one who was just making fun of me for being scared?"

"Fine Zeke, here I'll poke, can we just finish and go home after this?"

"Fine, just poke the sumbitch already so we can get going."

Henry pulled back and stabbed the egg as hard as he could, the stick puncture the outer shell and sunk with a squish into the egg, when he pulled back the hole he left oozed goo like a gun shot wound leaking blood the thing began to lose it's egg-like shape, deflating like a tire. Then the ooze trickled to a stop and the deflation ceased, and after that nothing, the two men stood staring for a few moments the Henry looked to Zeke.

"There nothing happened can we get going n......."

Like a lightning strike something black and glistening came shooting out of the hole
Henry had made with the stick with such speed Zeke's eyes couldn't follow, by the time he traced it's path to Henry whatever that thing was wasn't there anymore, he looked back to the egg but it looked no different then before, he was beginning to think he was imagining things when he heard a gurgle from Henry. Henry's face was frozen in surprise, then a slow trickle of blood begin to flow from Henry's adams apple and Henry gurgled again trying to speak.

"Jesus shit Henry, you okay man, what happened, what the fuck?"

Blood and tobacco chew flecked Henry's chin as he attempted to speak, then he fell back and his body jerked against the dirt as Zeke stood unable to do or say anything to comfort his friend, he stood in mute terror as his friend pooled blood and chew spit from a razor thin wound in his throat around the area his head. Henry jerked a final time, then the gurgling stopped as well. Henry was dead. Finally gathering his senses Zeke turned to the egg, he had to get the hell out of there, but he didn't know what that damn thing was or if it would even let him turn and run, Zeke panicked the truck was a quarter mile behind him and he had to get there soon, the sun was starting to set and he would have a horrible time finding the truck in the dark. But if he turned to run that black thing would have an easy target he had to do something. Zeke reared back and planted a kick flush into the dilapidated egg, wheeled in one motion and began to run, he heard a horrible scream from behind but he didn't even think about turning, he just ran, as fast as he ever had towards the truck.

Zeke didn't make it far, just over the hill something sliced by his leg and he fell face first into the dirt, he could feel his teeth punch through the skin of his lip and a heavy throb was already beginning to thump through his leg, he glanced back still laying on his stomach to get a better look at whatever attacked him but the sun was burning on the horizon line, squinting against the sun he made out a black shape scuttling towards him with incredible quickness, as the thing come ever closer it blocked out the sun and he could finally see it for what it was. It raised on it's back legs and let out a bloodcurdling scream, then whipped it's raised legs down at Zeke.

"Help!! Help!!! It's a giant fucking spi...."