The Happiness Deal

I’m learning to tolerate the wrong things
Wishin’ I was somewhere else as I hold on to my dreams
Anticipating for the better, but receiving the worst
Praying to God that he will solve my problems first
Trying not to do anything stupid while under neighborhood gaze
Just hoping for less disappointment as the hours turn into dayz
My real companions have walked away
But I continue to stay
My internal grief is returning, and I welcome it with open arms
I expect it like I look forward to the monotony of the winter sky
Can’t wait to soak my pillow in tears as I incessantly cry
No one can stop this cancer from spreading
I try to cover it up, but my happy face keeps shedding
Nothing can heal what I’m about to feel
However I take the blame for accepting the deal