Note to a Friend

         In high school, many students like to write notes.  Danielle, a senior, is sitting in her U.S. History class.  It is toward the end of the period and she is talking with her friends when she saw Amy pass a note to Lil.  Lil turns around to Amy and told her to shut up.  Danielle knew that Amy was writing annoying letters to Lil and others so she decided to do the same to Amy.  Danielle never intended the note to be very long.  She started the letter and kept writing for over two days in her spare time.

          Amy,
            Since you think you have to write annoying letters, I am writing an annoying
          letter to you. Are you gonna get mad at me?  I hope so!!!
             By the end of this note you will probably ask me, "Why did you
          write this note?"  And I will tell you, "I don't know!"  Then you will say "You   
          are weird!" and I will say "I know," and you will shake your head because
          you don't understand me.  I will have to slap you because you are making   
          fun of me and you will say, "What was that for?"  I will say, "You hurt my
          feelings," and then I will have to start crying.  You will then say
          sympathetically, "I'm sorry Danielle.  I will never do it again."  Then, I will
          stop crying and you will laugh again.  I will have to start crying again
          because you lied to me.  While I am crying, Christine walks into the room.  I
          tell her what happened and she will join my side because I will tell her, "I
          wove you," in the saddest and friendliest voice I can.  She will say, "You
          do?" and I will say, "Yep."  Then Christine will slap you because she thinks
          you were mean to me.
            Now that Christine is on my side, Kat walks in and she will come to my
          side because I am nice.  Since I have Kat on my side, Lil will be on my side
          too.  Just because Lil and Kat stay together.  Now that I have them on my
          side, Mary will come into the picture.  She will join my side because as it is,
          it is 4 to 1 and she doesn't want to join the loser's side.  So now it is 5 to 1. 
            Now that I have everyone on my side, I will tell them what you did and then
          they will all hit you.  Then we will go on being friends because it won't matter
          anymore.
            Your boyfriend Jacob will look at you later that night and laugh because
          you put yourself in that position.  Then you hit Jacob due to him laughing at
          you. 
            Then Tom will join my side just because the whole thing is so funny.  He
          will also enjoy my side because his girl, Christine is on my side.  Then 
          Jacob will betray you and join my side because I am special and Tom and
          Jacob are always together.  Then all your little sisters and your little brother
          will join my side because they like me.  Even Sammy might join my side. 
          She likes me after she gets to know me.  Now your dad has to join my side
          because your dad has to take care of the kids and you can take care of
          yourself. 
          15 to 1.  We are not done adding to my side but your side is finished.  Kat
          has reached her house by now and she has told her family about what
          happened at school today.  Everyone that lives in her house has now joined
          my side.  That adds 9 more people.  Then Amanda's friend Kristy will join my
          side because Amanda will call her and she knows me.  That night you will
          go to sleep and think about me. 
            Do you remember what I said about having weird dreams about water when
          I stayed the night.  Your first dream doesn't include me.  You are sitting on
          a boat in the middle of the ocean.  You see some fish swimming around the
          boat. 
            One of the fish looks like Flounder off of “The Little Mermaid”.  Than Arial
          and Sabastian come up to the surface.  Instead of Arial asking questions
          about what forks and other objects are, she asks you, "Are you that girl that
          hurt Danielles feelings?"  You will deny it but she will know better and all the
          fish, the crab, and the mermaid will laugh at you.  You get scared by this but
          the dream ends. 
            The next dream I am still not in but it gets worse.  You are sitting in your
          room and Jacob and Tom are there and all of your family is in your room. 
          They are all laughing at you.  Jacob by now has given you a lot of soda and
          you realize that you have to pee.  Since everyone is laughing hysterically
          you think you can escape.  Someone catches you and won't let you
          through.  You tell them that you have to pee really bad but they don't care. 
          You can't wait any longer and you pee down you legs.  Whoever had a hold
        of you leg let go and you wake up.  As you wake up you realize that you
        were not dreaming when you had to pee.  Now you have to get up and
        change.  You no longer can sleep on your bed because it is wet and stinks. 
        You grab a blanket out of your sisters room and sleep on the floor. 
          Now you remind me of a commercial where the little kid pees the bed and
        has to sleep on the floor with just a blanket around him, and his parents get
        him pull ups. 
          Now you have fallen back to sleep.  You have another dream.  This time I
        am in it.  You are so mad at me now, even though I did nothing, that you 
        come looking for me.  You want to kill me.  You go walking through the
        streets carrying a knife in your hand.  The bad part about the knife is it is not
        even two inches long and it is plastic.  The knife is a utensil from you little
        sisters Barbie's kitchen set.  A police officer sees you walking down the
        street with this knife and asks you,
          "What are you doing?"  He is looking at you really weird.  You say, "I am
        going to kill Danielle.  She has made everyone turn against me."  Now the
        police officer is on my side even though he does not know me because he
        thinks you are so weird.  He thinks you are psycho and does not think you
        should be allowed to walk the streets anymore so he takes you into
        custody.  He thinks that you are not suitable for the jail house so a jail-room
        is built for you outside.  The room is a six by seven foot room.  The walls are
        bars.  They (the police force and the community) think you need some kind of
        shading so they put a tiny umbrella on top of your room.  This umbrella was 
        also from your little sisters Barbie stuff. 
          They put you in this room.  Everyone can see you and everyone is laughing
        at you again.  All of a sudden you wake up to realize it was all a dream.  But
        you think the day at school was a dream to but after you got to school and
        Kat started laughing, you knew that it was not a dream.  You now feel sick to
        your stomach.  You can't go home because you have a big test.  You go to
        talk to the teacher about the test but  it is to late.  She has found out.  She
        laughs at you and tells you,
          "If you go home you will get a zero."  Your anger for me just keeps getting
        worse and worse.  I still did nothing wrong.  Everyone has arrived at the school
        and the bell has rang.  You go to first hour and you sit by yourself.  Everyone
        wants to know why you are sitting all by yourself.  You tell them, "Don't worry
        about it." 
          But Amy, your friends that are in your first hour class told what happened. 
        Now everyone in your first hour, even the teachers are on my side.  The few
        teachers that know, think that the whole school should know.  One of the
        teachers tells Pat to put it in the announcements.  Pat and a few other people
        that were in the office joined my side.  Fourth hour comes and the
        announcements are being read.  The first laugh came from Barb and then you
        could hear the entire school laughing.  Laughing at you. 
          People of the town heard the entire school body, except you, laughing and
        thought that all of central Illinois should know.  The story is broadcasted to the
        newspapers.  All the newspapers in central Illinois have published this story. 
        Now all of central Illinois is on my side.  As soon as the t.v. news centers find
        out they have members jump in vans and come interview you.  You do not
        want to talk to me or the press now.  Since you will not talk, some of you
        closest friends like Kat and Lil tell the press the whole story.  When the story
        was shown on t.v. you could hear people in the background, "This story gets
        funnier everytime I hear it."  There are people rolling on the floor because they
        are laughing so hard.  Since some of the news channels show further than
        central Illinois, more people know and more t.v. stations get the story.  Within
        the first half hour after the story was broadcasted the radio stations were
        telling the story.  Special reports are starting to pop up all over the world. 
          Bulletin boards that are alongside the roads have your picture with "ha's"
        floating all around your head.  You can't bear to show you face in public.  The 
        entire world now knows and everyone is on my side.  Even those people who
        do not get out much.  Now everyone is on my side and you realize how stupid
        the whole thing was.  You come and talk to me and you say, "Danielle, I
        realize how stupid I was and I want to join your side," and I say, "Are you
        gonna make fun of me again?"  You say, "No," and I say, "Are you telling the
        truth?" and you say, "Yes," and I say, "Ok." 
          Now you are on my side.  I won.  And everyone says, "Hip hip horray for
        Danielle."  And then we all go on like nothing happened until you do that kind
        of a stupid thing again.

         Just joking,
                  Danielle