The Visit

Chapter One “The Shower”


“I don't want to go back,” I said to myself as the little streams flowed down my body, “I know this visit is going to be the same as every other.”
I leaned against the wall of the shower as my mind started to wander. The stress was starting to break me; I knew I had many things that needed to be done shortly after the visit. I need to finish up my article on cystic fibrosis, and I need to write up the reports for the research done in the lab over the past week. The ability to get work done while being there is slim to none; it's always under constant criticism from the people that don't understand my work, yet they try to act like they know more. It's always been like that. I've never been able to get work done, even as a child I was constantly supervised. Shutting my eyes, I can hear the voices back from way back when.
“Why are you doing it that way? You know that's not the correct way to do it, now redo it the way you're told to.”
“The way I did it came out the same though, I don't see why there is any problem in doing it differently than everyone else.” I mentioned, while trying to hold my ground against them
“Because we won't have you do it differently than everyone else, now do it the way you're supposed to or else”
Or else what were the words that came into my head. I knew better than to back talk now, years of experience taught me that. I knew if I repeated those three words I would be in for it. What would happen this time though, would I be spanked? Or perhaps I would be grounded and shut off from anything I hold dear to me. It didn't matter I knew, I knew as soon as I got out of here I would never come back. I would run away forever and leave this whole mess behind. I hated them, I hated how they didn't let me be me. How I had to be what they wanted, it wasn't fair. First the eyes started watering, oh no I couldn't let them see me cry. I just couldn't. Trying my hardest to fight the tears I knew I wouldn't win, I never do. They started to roll down my cheek slowly passing my nose and lips and finally reaching my chin where they departed from my face only to land on my paper. Maybe if I was quiet they wouldn't notice, if I just made no noise they would go back to what they were doing and I would be alone again. That's all I wanted, just to be alone, someday I knew that would happen.
“Are you crying again?”
“No, I just got an eyelash in my eye.”
An eyelash in my eye? What kind of a response is that I thought. Not plausible at all, they won't ever buy it. I know it will end up the same way that it did last time when they caught me crying. I saw a mouth start to open as if words of destruction were to come out.
“If you think--”
The cellphone in her pocket started to ring, stopping her in mid sentence. She looked at the number, looked back at me with a look of disgust and reluctantly answered the phone.
“Yes?” was the first word out of her mouth, after a minute or so of silence she said, “Okay We'll be there shortly.” She looked at me, pointed with her finger and said, “We have to go, don't think this gets you off the hook. I expect you to have all of it done by the time we get back,” pausing for a second, “The right way. Make yourself something for dinner, we won't be back by then.”
After those words left her mouth, they left the room. I heard them go into the bedroom and then walk down the hall, down the stairs and then out the door. After hearing the quiet hum of the garage door closing, marking their departure, a sigh of relief came over me. Alone at last...for now. The tears were still flowing down my face. I couldn't do this right now, I needed to take a break. I slowly got up from my chair, shoulders hunched face looking down at the ground. Leaving the room I was in only to enter the hallway where I often find one of the corners to huddle in. No not this time I thought as I walked past my normal corner into my room where my bed was. I quietly fell onto the bed where I started to curl up into a ball, with my arms crossed. Tears coming stronger now then ever before, there is no point in holding them back now I said to myself. I let the tears just keep rolling and with them came the sounds. I no longer had to be quiet so I began to whimper which quickly turned into wails. As usual when I start crying like this, my cat, Chance, usually finds me wherever I happen to be, I know he is the one thing that truly cares about me. He always comes up purring and sticks his head right up against mine. He's the closest thing to a best friend I have. I know that is pathetic, I hate having to face that fact everyday. I can't blame him though, he only does what he can. It's hard when I'm not allowed to even go and play with the other kids. I have to stay in and work, or do chores. I grabbed him and held him close to me. I didn't want to let him go, I never do, however his squirms let me know I'm holding on too tight. I slowly loosened my hold on him until my he was just curled right up next to my body. I knew staying like this I would fall asleep. I didn't care though, I'll take the punishment they will give me. My eyes were starting to close now. I could feel myself slip away into the abyss of the night, waiting for the luxuries of my vacations to take me to the end of my imaginations. Slowly I slipped away into the slumber.
I reopened my eyes. Remembering how they were always hurt, it still hurts. Why was I remembering these things now? I couldn't remember anything from my childhood. I can't even remember the last time I smiled and truly meant it. The cold water started to rush out onto my body. I immediately turned off the shower so I would not be cold. I reached for my towel and opened the shower curtain. Looking around, I remember when this bathroom used to be full, now half empty. It missed a toothbrush, a towel, a razor, and his other items. A sigh came over me, I missed him. Oh well it's his choice. Then I remembered, all I have to do is get through this visit and everything will be okay, everything will be alright again.