Sour Loyalty

Sour Loyalty

How dare you ensnare me in a lifetime of blame
I loved you for all of your flaws and hidden shame
You convinced me I was your soulmate and then
turned me away, alone to reflect on our life gone astray-

How would we know at the tender age of eight that our lives
so intertwined for twenty years would one day
depreciate-

Your life was filled with trauma and shame
I tried to be the shelter for your self-loathing and pain
During those times when you acted out
and cut yourself down in your moments of self-doubt,
I was there for you when it mattered most
and you repaid me by leaving me alone
to mourn for us both-

It became hurtful when I chose him over you
this I know in my jaded soul to be true
I went to your wedding pregnant with his child
and you couldn't stand it,
staring at me with animosity and soured-

He's brutally honest, a quality you don't appreciate
because all you know of him, is to you he can't relate-
he doesn't understand your hedonistic ways
or accept them, that's undeniably true
but honey, you're the one without a clue.

Since you moved so far away,
"Are you happy?" is all you ever ask
What does the answer matter
I made a choice that left us shattered-

The truth you don't want to see because
it would mean that I tacitly agree with a man
who despises your choices,
but if you listened to your inner thoughts and sacred voices
you might come to realize the truth is plain as day
that you struggle with your rancid self and have come to
hide it in drugs and filth-

Now that several years have passed
I've come to realize I was the giver and you the taker
with your selfish interests never sated
I'm better off without you come to find out
who knew that on my own, I would be able to stand strong and stout-

A little piece of my soul died when you left
but I grew stronger in your absence, now
I owe you an extraordinary life debt
It's beautiful now two children have come
There is nothing left for us now that we are done
"Are you happy?" I hear in my head, repeating like a
broken record, I know now the answer is absolutely
YES!