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They told me to buy lottery tickets
Head to the nearest drug store
For the cheapest cigarettes on the shelf.
I registered to vote.

Eighteen years is enough to find
Your own inner spirit
Must the search continue?
More darting eyes, more thumping hearts?

Your interests and disappointments
Like that which prefers
A forgettable existence
Underneath your bed.

One parental figure,
Calls for every step
Thought out and clear.
Where is the excitement? The madness?

The other, living a life its own.
Disjointed, withdrawn, perplexed.
In one’s own journey of self discovery.
There is no room for anyone else.

If that boy comes along,
The one with the smile that melts your knees.
The voice that makes home in your memory.
The hands whose touch lingers still.

If that boy comes along,
How are you to be yourself?
If you don’t know who you are?