Dear Love s ?

December 03, 2007


The next time that I am in an airport is when you will be returning from the place that you have labeled hell. I feel so distant; I know that you don’t and I feel like such a horrible person. I have almost forgotten your touch. I wonder what that first kiss will be like. Do I have to get to know you again? I know who you are in terms of loving me, but not in terms of us being apart for so long. Honesty consistently haunts me. This is why I hurt you so bad in the beginning; with honesty. Honestly, very few things in life are constant. I know I will always love you, the “you” that I do know. Please find comfort in this.

Today, I sit at the airport, returning from a life-changing journey; I wonder if your arrival will be another. All I want to do today is write. I have a story that I want to keep. It is a beautiful love story. Perhaps someone else can benefit from its strangeness and beauty. God gave it to me in a dream this weekend. The dream felt like a reality that I had never known; one not based in routine” Reality is discovering the new while still acknowledging the old and changing based on found mistakes. Boy, if that isn’t the dumbest sentence ever…Oh well; it is hard to put in words. The story should become a screenplay… presented exactly how I saw and felt it; dominated by love, confusion and honesty with a touch of loneliness and exploration of perspectives.

I have so much to say. Besides this story, I have been dreaming about other things that the world might not understand. Ok, they won’t understand; I don’t understand, but I know that I have to share them. Even though, as I said before, I “feel” like such a horrible person, I know that I am not. Heart aching, mind dreaming, eyes stuck in reality and still smiling. Perhaps this type of confusion is not the worst. Strangely, for most, I am so very happy right now. This is probably the happiest that I have ever been. Happiness is natural, as is love. This is not going as well because I gave away my notes. Well, maybe it is better this way actually. It feels good to think through and relive. It feels so good.

Goodnight my Love, ready yourself for a new life; I will see you soon.