Off the Beaten Path

Mike and his son enjoyed hiking.  They had taken it up last year in order to lose weight.  Mike was obese and little Bobby was getting chunky.  If Mike didn’t instill better life habits in Bobby soon then he would end up obese, diabetic, or worse. 
         To their mutual surprise father and son both enjoyed hiking.  It had the aerobic benefits of going for a walk but it was much more interesting walking amidst the flora and fauna of Bernheim Forest than amidst the dog crap and idiot teenage drivers of their neighborhood.  Nobody curbs their dog anymore, or their teenagers for that matter.
         Bernheim Forest was a huge park and arboretum in the southern part of the county.  It had over thirty miles of hiking trails.  Most of the trails were easy to hike.  They were flat and not too long.  There were more challenging trails in the forest but Mike and Bobby weren’t ready to try those hiking trails just yet.  They were in hiker’s limbo:  they were bored with the moderate trails they had been hiking for the past year but they hadn’t yet attained the fitness level necessary to tackle the advanced trails.
         One beautiful fall day father and son were hiking the same old trail they hiked every weekend when they noticed a new trail veering off from the main one into the forest.  It was new in the sense that they had never noticed it before, but it looked well worn as if it had been used for years.
         “Did you ever notice this trail before Bobby?” Mike asked his son.
         “No, never.”
         “Wanna give it a go?  Mix things up a little bit?”
         “I’m game if you are,” Bobby replied.
         So off went the intrepid explorers boldly striding down a path that would lead them to more adventure than they ever could have imagined.
         Initially there was nothing remarkable about the new trail.  Trees, underbrush, and the occasional bird or small animal scurrying about was the extent of the scenery.  After awhile though the forest seemed to darken.  Mike glanced at his watch; it was only one o’clock.  The sun wasn’t setting yet.  The forest canopy didn’t seem dense enough to block out the sun.  As a matter of fact, when looking straight up, the sunlight was brilliantly streaming through the treetops.  The darkness seemed to be closing in from the sides of the trail as if they were walking into a cave that was getting narrower as they advanced.  The sounds of the forest changed as well.  The normal sounds of birds singing and small animals scurrying about were replaced by a low humming or buzzing that was felt in the bones and the brain more than it was heard by the ears.  There were also loud crashing noises in the distance that sounded like a large animal or animals tramping through the forest.  The dimming light and odd noises combined to cause a feeling of unease in Mike and his son.  It was as if they were being funneled or herded to a deep dark place that didn’t appear on any of the maps of Bernheim Forest.
         “Dad, where are we?”
         “I don’t know son.  Apparently this trail is not on the map.”
         “I have a funny feeling this area isn’t on any maps.”
         “What do you mean Bobby?”
         “I’m not sure.  It just doesn’t feel right.  It feels like we’re in a place or a time where we don’t belong.  It kinda feels like we’re on the wrong side of a mirror.”
         His father knew he had an intelligent boy, but Bobby still surprised Mike occasionally with insights such as this one.  This part of the forest did have a weird vibe to it.  It felt like they were out of place or out of time.  It was as if they had walked through a portal or wormhole or some other type of entryway that Rod Serling would talk about on old Twilight Zone episodes.  It really did feel like they were on the wrong side of a mirror.  The other unsettling thing was the crashing noises in the forest were getting closer.  The closer the sounds got, the more it felt like something was stalking them.
         “Well son, do you think we should turn back?”
         “Uh-huh.”
         Just then a primeval howl echoed through the forest.  Whatever was out there was definitely in a foul mood, and it was getting closer.  The hair on Mike’s arms and on the back of his neck stood up, his heart started galloping, and his mouth went dry.  Without acknowledging the blood-curdling howl, Mike and Bobby turned on their heels and double-timed it back in the direction from whence they came.
         Mike estimated they had walked thirty minutes or so since venturing off the beaten path.  They were walking at a much faster pace back towards their origination point, but after ten minutes or so there was no discernible change in the quality of light in the forest or in the claustrophobic feeling of the forest walls closing in on them.  More importantly, despite the swiftness of their pace, the thing in the forest was still gaining on them.
         Suddenly Mike had an idea.  He would call his wife on his cell phone, ask her to call the Ranger Station, explain the situation to them, and request that a search party be sent to look for them before the bear or sasquatch or whatever was stalking them gobbled them up.  As he was dialing his home phone Mike noticed a low, faint humming on the phone, and when his wife answered their home phone her voice reverberated.  Mike explained the odd situation he and Bobby were in and asked her to call the Ranger Station.  A few minutes later she called back.
         Mike’s wife explained to him that the park rangers knew of no offshoots of the main trail that he and Bobby had been hiking.  Furthermore, the rangers didn’t see his car in the parking lot.  Was he sure he was at Bernheim?
         Mike and Bobby had been hiking the same trail for the better part of a year.  He was pretty sure he knew which park he had driven to today.  He was at a loss, however, to explain where he was at the moment.  He was awakened from his ruminating by another unearthly howl from the thing that was chasing them.  This howl sounded like it was right next to them.  The beast had caught up to them but it was keeping its distance.  Mike and Bobby began to run.
         Mike felt a thousand eyes staring at him from the forest.  The entire scene seemed to shimmer as if the foliage were a mirage or a hologram hiding the true forest and its inhabitants.  Bobby was outdistancing Mike and when he was about twenty yards ahead of him Bobby slowed his pace to enable Mike to catch up.
         “Don’t slow down!” Mike screamed.  “Keep going as fast as you can!  I’ll catch up!”
         Bobby glanced back with a worried expression on his face; then he faced forward and reverted to his original, faster pace.
         Mike’s side was aching.  As the stitch in his side grew worse, and Bobby’s lead on him grew, the beast in the forest also pulled ahead of him.  Mike was terrified the beast was going after Bobby.  Bobby was a swift runner due partially to the weight loss resulting from hiking and other increased physical activities.  This allayed Mike’s fear somewhat.  However, since he didn’t know how fast the beast in the forest was, he couldn’t be completely confident that Bobby was capable of outrunning their antagonist.
         Mike needn’t have worried.  The beast wasn’t trying to catch up to Bobby; it was trying to cut him off.  Mike discovered this, much to his dismay, when the giant beast emerged from the woods directly in front of him blocking his escape path.  Mike froze in his tracks.  The beast was between eight and ten feet tall.  It had brown hair all over its body.  It had long fangs descending from its upper jaw.  Its eyes were dark and had a feral quality to them.  It ran upright and had large hands with five digits on each one.  The beast could have been a Bigfoot but Mike was too terrified to give a damn.  He felt his testicles retreating into his body cavity when the beast growled at him.  He broke into a cold sweat and felt the strength run out of his legs.  He was on the verge of pissing his pants and felt lightheaded as if he were about to faint.  As the creature advanced on him he fell to his knees and began to pray.
         The beast advanced slowly.  It was taking its time but it didn’t seem to be doing this to taunt Mike.  It appeared that the beast was out of breath.  Maybe Bobby really did give it a run for its money; and apparently Mike didn’t do too poorly either.  The thing was breathing heavily as it neared, and when it drew to within ten feet of Mike he could feel the heat and smell the sour stench of the thing’s breath.  This thing was definitely a carnivore.  It was obvious from the glistening fangs and the tenacity with which it had stalked Mike and Bobby.  And that sour breath could only be the result of consuming animal flesh.  Unless this thing was partial to onions and garlic, it was definitely a meat eater.
         Mike had resigned himself to the fact that he was going to die.  He was optimistic that Bobby would get away though.  Not only would it take this beast awhile to consume the two hundred fifty pounds of Mike’s flesh and bone, he was going to put up as much of a fight as he could muster.  He wanted to go down swinging, but more importantly he wanted to give Bobby as much time as possible to put some distance between himself and this unholy abomination.  As the thing got within striking distance Mike curled his hands into fists and tried to determine whether this thing had any vulnerable spots and just where those spots might be. 
         Man and beast bent their knees and prepared to lunge at one another.  Mike knew he didn’t stand a chance but he was determined to go out with a bang and not a whimper.  He had always subscribed to the theory, “A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero dies but once.”  He had always tried to live his life without fear, for fear will prevent a man from striving for anything better or noble in life.  As these thoughts ran through his mind the beast in front of him sank to its knees while emitting a howl brought on by pain and surprise.  Although the thing was on its knees it was so huge Mike still couldn’t see Bobby standing behind it.  Only when Bobby came around the beast and grabbed Mike’s arm did he realize that he was even there.  Bobby had snuck up behind the creature and planted his right foot squarely in the crotch of the beast.  While the beast was incapacitated Bobby grabbed Mike and attempted to pull him forward past the beast.  Instead of running Mike hurried about looking for a weapon.  His adrenaline was pumping through his veins like never before, which caused his higher brain functions to take a back seat to his base animal instincts.  He had already decided he was going to fight this thing to the death, so the thought of running away never crossed his mind.  Within a few seconds Mike found a good-sized log in the underbrush.  It was small enough to grasp firmly in one hand but large enough to cause extensive damage.  As the beast struggled to stand up Mike brought the log crashing down on its skull.  He had to make sure it didn’t get up.  As long as it was down on its knees the playing field was somewhat level.  Once it got to its feet, all bets were off.
         The first blow stunned the creature.  It had a look of shock in its eyes as if it had never been challenged before.  It lunged towards Mike but the shot to the groin as well as the blow to the head had slowed it.  Mike deftly sidestepped the beast.  He then raised the log in both hands and brought it crashing down on the top of the beast’s head opening a wide gash in its scalp.  Blood squirted from the opening in the beast’s skull.  The sight of blood unleashed a primeval instinct in Mike that incited him to rain blows upon the wounded beast at a ferocious pace.  With each blow more blood spurted forth until the red blood was mingled with bits of pink flesh and gray bits of brain matter.  After several long minutes Mike’s adrenaline well ran dry as if his body knew what his bestial mind couldn’t recognize.  He dropped the log, sank to his knees, and sat back on his haunches.  The thing was dead, bludgeoned into oblivion.  Mike looked around and for a brief panicky moment didn’t see Bobby.  Much to his relief he finally spotted Bobby several yards away, safe and sound.
         “What the hell was that?” Mike asked Bobby.
         “I don’t know and I don’t want to know,” replied Bobby.
         After several silent moments the rustling of leaves all around them disrupted the quiet.  Mike and Bobby were too exhausted to put up a fight, which turned out to be fortunate for all parties involved.  If they had put up a fight they may have ruined their only chance at leaving this odd realm for they would have injured or angered several members of the emerging tribe.  The rustling leaves revealed a host of tiny men emerging from the forest on all sides.
         “Welcome!” called the leader of the group.  “Do not be afraid.  We aren’t like him,” he said pointing at the dead beast lying on the ground in front of them.
         Mike and Bobby gazed in disbelief at the little humanoids encircling them.  They were between two and three feet tall and wore leather leggings and simple frocks for shirts.  They all looked alike which was very similar to elves, gnomes, or some other type of small creature that Mike thought only existed in fairy tales.  Apparently all folklore is based at least partly in truth.  In the past thirty minutes they had met Bigfoot and the seventy dwarfs. 
         “We’re sorry if we killed your pet or your god or whatever it was,” Bobby said.
         “Sorry?” said the dwarf’s leader.  “Sorry?  Why would you be sorry?  That beast has been tormenting us for years.  He has chased us, devoured our loved ones, and made our lives completely miserable for as long as we can remember.  You have done a great thing.  You have a performed a valuable service for us and we are indebted to you.”
         Mike finally found his voice and muttered, “Indebted?  What do you mean?”
         “Why, we owe you a huge debt of gratitude.  We will grant you whatever you wish; provided, of course, it is something within our power.”
         “All we want is to get back to our own dimension,” Bobby said.  “That is where we are, right, another dimension?”
         “You are a very bright young man,” the leader said.  “How old are you?”
         “Ten.”
         “How does a ten year old boy understand the complexities of a multidimensional universe?”
         “I watch a lot of old Twilight Zone episodes and read a lot of science fiction stories,” Bobby replied rather sheepishly.
         “I do not understand what these things are but I do know that you possess a fine mind for such a young person,” the elfin leader replied with a smile.  “You are correct in assuming you are in another dimension.  We know this because we have been visited by beings from your world, and the beast your world refers to as “Bigfoot” has escaped into your world on numerous occasions.  Due to the randomness of time and space with which these portals open between our worlds, the Bigfoot has appeared in various locations at various times in your history.  Ordinarily we do not enter your world but there have been times when it was deemed necessary.”
         “So, can you help us get back to our world?” Mike asked.
         “We can,” replied the head elf.
         “Then that’s the only repayment necessary,” Mike said.
         “I understand.  If you would like to learn more about our world or how to get back, we will be glad to share that information with you.  As I said earlier we don’t know exactly when or where the portals manifest themselves but we have identified certain characteristics of these portals which enable us to determine when they are forming.”
         “That sounds fascinating, really, but at this point we just want to go home.  Maybe another time,” Mike replied.
         “Very well then.  Follow me.”
         Mike and Bobby followed the elder in the direction they had come from.  It took much longer to get to the portal back to their own dimension than it had taken them to get here.  This must have been what the elder was talking about when he said the portals popped open randomly.  Occasionally the head elf would stop and examine the ground and the forest, and sniff the air.  Apparently he was searching for clues that would lead them to the portal between their dimension and Mike and Bobby’s home dimension.
         “Quickly, over here,” said the elder, waving Bobby and Mike onwards.  “It’s about to open and we never know how long they will remain open.”
         Despite their fatigue Mike and Bobby kicked into a higher gear and almost overran the elf.  When they realized they had to follow the elf they slowed their pace and fell in behind him.  The elf stopped abruptly in front of them.  Bobby almost ran into him but stopped himself.  Mike couldn’t stop so he hurdled the little guy.  When he was able to stop himself he looked around vainly trying to find the portal. 
         “What gives?” Mike said.  “Where’s the portal?”
         “Straight ahead,” said the elf.  “It can’t be seen but I can feel that it is straight ahead.  Walk between those two trees and you will be back on the main trail in Bernheim Forest, in your home dimension.”
         “Thank you,” Mike said.  “Thank you for getting us home.”
         “No,” said the elf.  “We are grateful to you for ridding our world of the beast.”
         Mike and Bobby hurried down the path between the two large pine trees that the elf had pointed to.  When they passed between these trees they emerged on their usual hiking trail in Bernheim Forest.  They were relieved to be home but more importantly they were relieved to be alive.