The "Plan"

The orchard at my parents' house has an ancient and forgotten feel. No one has pruned or cared for the huge trees in years. Overgrown branches bursting with pumpkin colors form a thick canopy, allowing only small streams of light to penetrate through. The gnarly limbs look twisted and bent like arthritic fingers. A thin coat of mist tightly hugs the warm ground, making the rich black soil seem damp and musty. Strong earthly smells of fallen fruit, decaying leaves, and foliage permeate the air.

As the sun lingers over the horizon, giving the last few hours of warmth, I stand outside the orchard looking up at the endless sky and almost forget clouds exist. I can't see my breath, yet, but if I inhale deeply the fall air nips my lungs. I love this time of year, when nature shows her best work. The dazzling displays of color and the quick change in temperature keep my senses on full alert.

I would have thought it a beautiful day, had my father not been yelling at me again. Some days it seems that nothing I do is right. Today I am a loser because I don't have a "Plan.” "To make anything of yourself in life you have to have a "Plan"." he says. "You need to be a Leader, not a Follower."

I walk deep into the middle of the orchard to escape. Lie in my favorite spot, a soft piece of earth below the spreading limbs of an apple tree, and think. In the spring a bed of violets, but now in the fall a carpet of clover and dry leaves covers the ground. I hear only the song of the birds and now and then feel a chill from a gentle wind as it stirs up the leaves and bends the grass. This place feels like my own private Idaho, calm and peaceful.

I think of the apple tree as a wise, old friend, and I can feel the knowledge and power he has within. I tell him my fears, or share my secrets and as far as I know, he tells no one. I come to him when I need to get away, daydream, sleep, or ponder the wonders of the world. He always waits there for me, never yells, nor tells me what to do. He just stands and listens.

Today I need to ponder who I am, what I want to be, and make a "Plan." Who at 10 knows who they are, or what they want to be? I could say I want to be a fireman or an astronaut, maybe even the President of the United States, but how realistic is that?? I don't want to do or be any of those things. I just want to stay a kid, play, and have fun. Not grow up and have a "Plan."

As I lie under my tree wondering, "What am I going to tell my father?" I see hanging above me a lone apple, possibly the last apple of the season. A stream of sunlight cutting through the branches sets its golden-red skin ablaze. The immense size and voluptuous shape so enticing, it could tempt even Adam. As this majestic scene unfolds, I almost expect a trumpeting fanfare announcing its arrival. I am hooked. With that first glimpse, the apple has captured my desire like the heart of Aphrodite. Before I stand, I can taste its sweet juicy flavor. I think of my teeth sinking into its pearly-white middle and crisp snap of the first bite.

As I began to rise, I realize to my dismay it is out of my reach. It almost seems unattainable. I stretch and jump, but I can't get close enough to touch it. No matter what I do, the apple remains beyond my grasp. I can climb the tree, but the limb won't support my weight. I can shake the branch, but then the apple will fall and bruise, ruining its perfection.

Then it comes to me, I know who and what I want to be, what my "Plan' is! I want to be ME, but TALLER!