Conquering the World

My son was misdiagnosed at age 5 by Scottish Rite Hospital with severe ADHD. For over 9 years we struggled with over 41 medications to help him to cope with ADHD and his depression. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at 14. When he told me about his suicide plan I quit work, home schooled him for 18 months, got him off all of the medication and started to help him to see successes. He was very big for his age (tall and heavy) and constantly picked on and bullied. With help from a psychiatrist , psychologist , a disability service dog named Rosie ( a Rhodesian Ridgeback) and everyone I could wrangle in; he started to see himself as a unique person. His anger started to dwindle and we had fewer outbursts. He started to become sad that he didn't have friends so I had him research schools and we found Walden Prep. He enrolled and was in class with a 5 to one ratio with teachers who could identify with him. Socially, he tested at 12 and I was told that was all I could expect. As a teacher I refused to believe that I could not help him. I recently read a book called "The complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" by Tony Attwood. It has helped me  to see the bigger picture.

I taught my son natural consequences. Not easy when you want to protect them. I showed him what he did then taught him what he COULD have done. I never told him he should have done something. It was his choice. My son still has insomnia and has difficulty relating to very emotional situations but he is learning to cope. My son is now 21. He graduated from high school last year and wanted to attend UTI (Universal Technical Institute) for Automotive Collision and Repair. We moved to Houston and began his education. My son is still socially immature so I will not let him live on his own yet. The social growth that he has achieved is remarkable he was tested for Vocational Rehabilitation and tested at 17 years, an age level I was told he could never even hope for. I attribute this to my obsession to help him. His decision to live what he calls his kind of normal. 

We continued our volunteering.  I volunteered for every organization that I could. After all, this is an excellent way introduce appropriate behavior. It helps people in need and it is short. My son is now a Roofer for Habitat for Humanity and he volunteers for Food for Families with NO supervision. He can balance his check book, shop for food , clothing and incidentals. Not only is he is making friends, he s keeping them. He is no longer depressed. His driving skills leave a lot to be desired but he is learning. He is planning his future and wants to open up an automotive repair shop. Don't get me wrong. This was not easy. I can't tell you how many times I pulled my hair out, took a drive just so I could scream or just cried. But the smile on my son's face when he comes home and tells me about his successes or his failures and tells me what he is going to do next, is great. My son is very intelligent and articulate he was misunderstood and labeled as defiant. Well look at him now. He is still misunderstood but now he is determined to succeed. What every parent of a child with learning disability needs to know, is never give up. My son’s perceived defiance was his scream for acceptance. Not for his disabilities, but his abilities.

I never give in.  I never say that is all he will ever be. You don't know what he or she is capable of. The future is unwritten. I refuse to give up. And so does my son. He once told "I am not going to give in to limited capabilities that seem to manifest themselves. I am going to look at them as just one more thing I have to do to conquer the world."