Perfect Lie

Chapter One.

         I've spent the last few years creating a perfect life for myself. No flaws in my appearance, an excellent grade average in school, and an average level of confidence, so I don't seem conceited. I have a lot of friends, and most of them look up to me. To the world, it really does seem like I have this perfect life I've worked so hard for. To me, it seems like I'm never going to escape this perfect lie.

         Always a happy child, my family and friends loved spending time with me. I think I liked myself better back then. Once I reached the first year of my teens, I began looking at myself differently. That smiling girl with the messy blonde curls and big green eyes wasn't the girl I saw when I looked in the mirror; my reflection was that of a girl who needed to brush and tame her curls, and start wearing a little makeup in the hopes that people might notice her squinty green eyes.

         Now that I'm almost sixteen, I can't say my reflection looks any better. Different, yes. But not better. I've got my routine worked out though, so I don't look as bad. Every morning I straighten my hair until it's flat against my back. I put on lipgloss to make my lips look fuller, and of course, I put on just enough eyeliner to make my eyes really stand out. Next, I move down to my clothes. Lately I've been choosing darker shirts, or sweaters to pair with my designer jeans. Today though, my routine is not going to be as easy; I have a big cut down my cheek. Hopefully my concealer will hide it.

         When I go downstairs for breakfast, mom's still in bed with her newest boyfriend. I think his name is Todd. I decide that instead of eating breakfast, I should go work out on the treadmill for a while before Julie and Brittany pick me up for our shopping trip. I'm glad Brittany's coming along, but I can't stand Julie. I'm incredibly jealous of her tiny figure, and silky black hair. Not to mention that she still lives with her father, and her mother doesn't get a new boyfriend every week.

         After I get off the treadmill, I go into the bathroom to fix my hair and makeup. When I get out, I see Todd in the kitchen wearing his boxers. He's making some coffee for my lazy mother, and doesn't even acknowledge me when I come into the room. I say hi, and he grunts his version of "good morning" to me before heading upstairs with the coffee mugs, just as the doorbell rings.

Chapter Two.

         I'm willing to admit that I might be a little vain sometimes, but I never realized the extent of my vanity until today. Britt and Julie left the mall a few hours after lunch, but I stayed. I like to shop, but I love to shop alone. So now, I'm sitting on the bus alone with all these bags. I always sit at the front, even though the seats are supposed to be reserved for the eldery or disabled. From my seat I can see the big rearview mirror, and I keep staring at my reflection, and posing with my face. I do a pouty lip, a snobby look, and few others before I realize how obsessed I'm getting to be. I decide to look out the window and I realize I missed my stop...must have been posing too much. I ring the bell, get off at the next stop and walk home.

         When I finally get to my house, I notice that no one's home. There's no noise and the lights are off. I go upstairs to put away my new clothes and accesories, before I take a hot shower. Once I get out, I look at myself in the mirror. I stare at my stomach, wishing it would magically shrink. Soon enough, I get disgusted with my stomach and move on to my thighs. If only they could be thinner...all I want is to look good. More importantly, I want to look like a normal person instead of this hideous thing I see in the mirror. For once I would like to know what it feels like to be satisfied with yourself. My body isn't normal...it's not even. Half of me is bigger than the other. How do you even out your body?

         When I finally pry my disappointed self away from the mirror and go into the hall, I hear my mother and Todd talking downstairs. I think about going down to talk to them, but I decide there's no point; they don't ever seem to be interested in me. Instead, I just go into my room, and flop on the bed. I usually do some crunches and jumping jacks before I go to sleep, but tonight I'm just too tired. I'll make up for it in the morning before I go to school...