Valued Shopper

Have you ever walked into a Fred Meyer or any other department store with a backpack on? Whenever I enter, it feels like the employees are staring at me, spotlight missing this time. They quickly are scouring the area for the nearest phone booth in hopes to morph into a Superman state. Make use of the X-Ray vision (other than to see what the neighbors are up to). Because I am a young person and cannot possibly be a responsible adult and have any income other than the $5 every March in the thoughtful Hallmark from Grandma. So I calmly walk to the Customer Service desk and ask if I can leave my backpack there (because I don't want them to think I am harboring a television in my messenger bag). They assure me I am trusted (looking at me like a parent leaving for a long weekend—NO PARTYING…) but I guess they are serious… I AM AN ADULT! So I head to isle 20 to buy enough sugar to throw up by dinner…ok just kidding…I finish up my shopping bag my water and pack of sugar free gum, pay and conclude my glorious adventure, locate my automobile in the G-Store parking lot and depart.

I basically roll behind the Sunday driver (that's funny, I thought it was Wednesday…) Finally it turns into two lanes! J I inspect for pigs and hit the gas…laughing hysterically…and cold heartedly flip the bird to someone's sweet old Grandma…increase my speed and continue down the pavement. I soon find myself coming to a halt…I blame the lame red light. When of course who pulls up next to me?? My hands grip the steering wheel…I am overcome with A.D.D. like behavior…Green!…Gotta change!…Green!…Go!…Green!…Change! My tires screech and I leave a trail of their defeat in my dust. HA! HA! YES! VICTORY! Ooh Sale! My trip short, but sweet. I open my door and step right into the lake of the recent G-Store parking lot. Which immediately I question my "waterproof shoes" Frustrated, but I still move on. I open the door and countless employees rush to my side…"Welcome to Value Village can I take your bag?"