"Ten on Pump Three" -Revised-

“Ten on Pump Three”

Could you imagine your sixteen year old daughter coming into your room to tell you that she has this bump on her bottom that hurts even when she is standing? Well, I could because I was that sixteen year old daughter. I guess you could say I have always been sort of honest when it came to how I felt or what I was thinking. I would not say that I, “Speak my mind,” but I certainly have a way of getting my point across.
I grew up in a small town called Muslik. You know one of those towns where everybody knows everybody. Well, anyway, ever since I could remember people would always tell me how pretty I was. I mean do not get me wrong I did not think that I was dime piece, but I thought that I looked fairly well at times. With that being said I have always had a “boyfriend.” The earliest I could remember was when I was four years old and I stayed right beside this boy named James, who was also four years old. James was also attractive, so we instantly hit it off. I know you are probably saying, “What could you have possibly hit off at the age of four,” but people come on, we are human and opposites attract. We called each other boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time. We would play together eat over each other’s house and everything. Yeah, you are probably wondering about our parents, they seen it as being cute, but we could really feel a vibe.
When I turned about six years old my family moved to another neighborhood, but we were still in the same city. When I first stepped foot in our local elementary school to start kindergarten I seen that there were actually more boys that were attractive. I was always quiet in school, but I was wise and paid close attention to anything that I wasn’t supposed to pay attention too. I would know things like teachers having affairs, students being abused, and a whole lot of other things. It was sort of like a soap opera to me. I would just sit and listen and imagine and take the situation as far as I could take it. I was one of those kids who had a huge imagination.
As I began to get a little older, I had more and more guys telling me how beautiful I was, and that they wanted to be with me. I know some of them just wanted to get with me physically but there were a plenty of them who really wanted to be with me. I remember when I was in the fourth grade I would walk by these group of eighth grade guys everyday in the cafeteria and they would whistle and tell me that I was going to be a heartbreaker. Our middle school went from fourth to eighth grade. When I started the sixth grade I started going out with this guy named Bricco. He was a real charmer and we had lots of clean fun together. We ended up breaking up at the beginning of my seventh grade year. While in seventh grade I decided to live the single life, but that was hard to do, because most of the boys in the school wanted me. Everyday I had guys coming up to me telling me different things all the time. When I started eighth grade I started going out with this guy named Jamie. We also had clean fun. I would get my aunt to take me to his house without my mother knowing, but all we would do was kiss and wrestle with each other. Even though I really liked Jamie, I still had feelings for my first boyfriend, James. Now by this time James and I did recognize and flirt with each other, but we also knew that each of us had our own things going on. When I started high school I was still going with Jamie, but James would call me every night talking about the old times.
While in the tenth grade I was a cheerleader, flag girl, beta club member, homecoming queen, student council senator, and just your all around lovable girl. One day I had got invited to this party on Piercing Ln. I really wanted to go, not to have fun, but to meet up with James. We had been talking and talking about meeting up for weeks, but neither of us could find the time nor place to do it. For some reason my mother would not let me go to this party, but I begged, cried, and pleaded with her. I guess she finally got tired of me asking and decided to let me go. As soon as she dropped me off James pulled up. Now as I said earlier in the story James was a very attractive male, so he also had his groupies as well as me. We danced for a little while, but then we decided to leave. While riding we came to this abandoned country road, and I asked him to go down the road not knowing this night was going to be the result of a major turning point in my life. When we got down the road we stopped and started talking. As the music was playing and the moon was shining we started to feel our hormones rage. He asked me if I wanted to make love and I said yes. Well, we started the procedure but it began to hurt so I told him to stop. So we waited a while and then he asked me again, and this time I said no. I guess he did not like the word no, so he gave me a choice to either do it or we were not going to leave. We waited out there in the middle of no where for about an hour until I finally gave in.
A couple of weeks had passed and I started feeling sick to my stomach. At first I thought it was a virus. I would try to eat something and it would stop in the middle of my chest and come right back up. My breasts were very sore and red looking. I started coming in the classroom with my nose way in the air because I could smell everything and it was not pleasant. Being pregnant did not cross my mind one time, because I was never that type of girl that felt like I needed a baby in order to feel loved. After a couple more weeks had passed, my mother started recognizing my symptoms. She asked me when my last period was, but I couldn’t answer because I never kept up with it. She took me to the doctor to get a pregnancy test, and there it was as clear as day, positive. I nearly fainted; I bet my blood pressure dropped to 40/20. I was in shock, my mother started crying, but I did not understand why at the moment. I mean even though I was shocked, I felt like I was having a baby by someone I love, so what could possibly go wrong. Yes, I was still going with Jamie at this time, but I could not work up the nerve to tell him what happened so I got my baby sister to do it.
While being pregnant, James treated me like a step child. He did not show me any type of respect at all. He talked to other women in front of me, called me out of my name, and ignored me, but yet I still loved him. I wanted us to be this happy fantasy family with the white picket fence and all. When I had my daughter, which was by far the best thing that had ever happened to me, he was there. Even though he treated me like crap, I was so overwhelmed because he even showed up. As my baby started to grow, James continued to dog me out, by this time I still loved him, but I started recognizing that he did not love me. When I graduated, I made up my mind to go on to college. While in college I met a couple of guys who also disrespected me. It was like I kept putting my feet in that water and getting bit every time. Because they treated me bad as well, I decided that I might as well try to make it work with the father of my child. Yeah, I tried it but it was all the same. Eventually James left and moved to another state thinking that he was going to become this big time dope dealer but ended up getting caught up and having to do some prison time. Of course, by this time I am completely over him.
I eventually decided to move back home and get my own place, so that I could find myself. I mean do not get me wrong, I had been with other men besides James, but it was not enough to have experience. I only did things to make him mad. I guess you could say I was sort of wild when I first moved on my own. Not to say that I was a typical whore, but I had my share. I would smoke, drink, and just party like a rock star every chance that I could get. I started to really feel this one guy, his name was Brady. Now Brady was the type of man who could sweep you of your feet, but would be gone in the blink of an eye. I wanted him to be my boyfriend so bad, but he was too worried about other people saying that he was being sucked in.
After a couple of months I met this guy named Zedrick. Oh my God, he was like one of the most appealing man that I had ever met. He had the looks, the money, the manners, and just pretty much the whole package. He took me out of town for my twenty first birthday, and you talking about wined and dined. He really wined and dined me in everyway. The only thing that I can say about Zedrick was that he did have a girlfriend. Now this was my first time actually going out with a man who already had a girlfriend, but the way he treated me totally out weighed that. He would do little things like making sure my car was always full of gas, asking me was I hungry, taking out the trash without me asking, holding my hand when we went places, and riding me around in his car. After a while those little things started to get old, because I wanted him to myself. He would say that he loved me, but he would never ask me to be with him. I soon got tired of playing the toy, so I left him alone.
By this time I was half way finished with this practical nursing program that I joined at the beginning of the year. Even though I was about to accomplish something good, I still felt low. I started to think that maybe it was not the men, and that it was me. I was constantly beating myself up; because I did not think that I was wife material. I started degraded and downing myself all the time. I was 21 years old at this time, and going to nursing school and being lonely did not seem to mix well at all. I mingled but only during school and work. I started having an everyday routine that was intensively boring. I would wake up, get me and my daughter ready for school, come home, whip up a quick meal, drop my daughter of at my mom’s, and head to work. On weekends, I would try to have fun, but having no one to have fun with spoils the whole moment. I mean do not get me wrong, I had a few girlfriends, but we were all at the age that everyone was trying to establish their individual families and relationships, everyone except me of course.
One day as I was heading home from work, I decided to stop at a corner store to get me a soda and some gas. While standing in line, I noticed this tall dark skinned beautiful man in front of me. I wanted to flirt with him so that he would ask me for my number, but I promised myself that I was not going to put my feet in that water again. It was finally my turn at the counter, and the lady asked if I needed anything other than the drink and I said, “yes, Ten on Pump Three.” As I was bent down writing the check, I noticed a very handsome male out of my peripheral vision. I did not say anything to him, because he dressed just like most of the guys in my past relationships and I was trying to wing myself from that. Well, as I stood at my pump, a light blue Cadillac pulled up beside me and there he was, not driving, but on the passenger side. I acted like I did not notice him so I kept pumping my gas. He waited for a second and then said, “Excuse me Miss, can I assist you in pumping your gas?” I did not say or do anything but smile. He then got out of the car and came towards me. The first thing he said was that I had a beautiful smile and introduced himself and Marvin Brasswork. Even though he was attractive, I noticed that he looked very young, so without me even telling him my name, I asked him for his age. He immediately said 21 going on 22. I knew then that it was a lie, but I felt like he felt as though he needed to say that in order to go out with me. Even though I knew all the time that he could not be anymore than 19 or 20, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because I felt a connection with him that I had never felt in my entire life. We exchanged numbers right there. I guess he realized that he had given me the wrong number, so he followed me to Wal-Mart just to verify.
Well, for the next couple of weeks we talked on the phone as if we had known each other all our lives. It was never a dull moment on the phone. I mean I had never felt this comfortable talking to anyone. I could actually talk to a man and not feel obligated to keep the conversation going with certain topics just for him to stay on the phone. We decided to meet up one weekend, so I drove to his city. He did not have a car neither did he have any money to buy me a pot to play in or a window to throw it out of, but I admired him anyway. We were to meet at this gym at a local college that was right down the street from his house. He did not want me to have to go through the hassle of trying to find his house so he met me there. As soon as he walked in I thought, Oh my God, look at his hair. His hair looked as if he had not put a comb in it in days, but despite all that, he still had those same eyes with that same look that originally connected with. We talked at the gym and told me to trail him and his brother to the house.
When I arrived at his home, which was actually his mother’s house, he introduced me to his whole family as his girlfriend. Even though that does not seem like a lot to most people, but I had never had this type of recognition from any male. It made me feel good and wanted. I knew right then and there that I would never be lonely again. We ended up hitting it off very well, and he eventually moved in with me.
One day as we were sitting in my room playing as usual, he looked me in my eyes and told me that he loved me. Even though this was his first time telling me, I have always known that he did. When he said it, it gave me the opportunity to spill out all of my feelings. We knew that we wanted to be together forever. Both of wanted the same out of life and out of each other and that was for the other to be happy and love them forever. He treated me like the queen that I always knew I was, and I knew God sent him for a reason. That night we held hands and said our own personal little vows and got married as God as our witness. We did not have money for a ring, because he was looking for a job and I was a struggling college student, so we found some old rings and placed them on each other’s finger.
I love this man with all my heart, and he made me feel that I was really worth more than what I have been treated as. We are now planning a church wedding, and even though this will be the official wedding day, we will always celebrate our anniversary on the day we exchanged vows in our room.

-the end