An early memory that terrified me. I was mesmerized by the light coming from within. |
De’Bee Kuzanek’s OPENED CLOSURE The earliest memory that protrudes from my childhood happened in the spring of 1969. My family and I lived in Fitchburg, Massachusetts; a small commune just west of Boston. I was one year old, the younger of two girls. It was the wee hours of the morning; my parents were still awake watching television. From my bedroom, lying in my crib, I could see the scenes between commercials and programs, sporadically bounce off the darkened, hallway walls. The only sound visible was the cool breeze blowing in our window. It whispered a haunting howl as it caressed the sheer drapes. I looked through the headboard of my crib. I was scared and wanted my big sister’s reassurance but she was sound asleep. I instantly glanced through the slats of the footboard. It was like something wanted me to look at the miniature closet door. The very same closet that I was deathly frightened of because of its spooky half-scaled contour and shrilling aged hinges. I knew once opened, the closet door required support, because it swings shuts by itself. There are no doorknobs and if sealed inside, you’d have to pound and yell until someone opened it. This is why I feared the closet. It came from being shut inside, screaming to be released. Now, something is making me look at my fear, straight in the eye. The threshold around the door was darker then night itself. It stood out like sore thumb. In panic, I clutched fistfuls of my favorite green, silk trimmed blanket. Tears poured down my cheeks. I was paralyzed from fear. I couldn’t close my eyes and cry out to my mother. I just stayed silently motionless. Just then, a tiny radiance peered through the cracks around the closet entry. The peering light quickly turned into a brilliant, flamboyant glow, amplifying the doors entirety. The door seemed to pan out as a cavernous, passageway emerged. I was absolutely terrified of the vision and found myself mesmerized by the warm, flickering amber light coming from within. I blinked my watered-down eyes, grasped my blanket tighter as my crib hovered closer towards the opening of the passage. Before I knew it, I was completely inside. There were shady silhouettes of people in the background waving, welcoming me. As I moved deeper inside the tunnel, everything grew brighter, and my apprehension subsided. I had the sensation of being safe just as I halted. One silhouette approached the footboard. The brilliant, light camouflaged its face. It peacefully began whispering, “Don’t be afraid. Everything is all right child. You’re loved. I’ll be watching.” The voice silenced as my crib sped rearward. The shady silhouettes waved goodbye as I passed, entering my bedroom. In the blink of an eye, the tunnel vanished. The threshold and door blended perfectly into the blackness. I no longer felt scared. I rolled over with my blanket, and closed my eyes. The cool breeze embraced my little face and before I knew it I was fast asleep. |